I'm pregnant,and my boyfriend wants to keep our relationship on the down low.what do i do?

Question

Hello.I'm 4 months pregnant & me & my bf have been in a relationship for 2 years now.He broke up with me about 2 weeks ago for no reason,he says he was confused,and now that we are back together,he wants to keep it on the down low and not let anyone know,meaning his mom or dad or any of his immediate family,that is because he is 19yrs.old.I dont know what to do its really bothering me that he is hiding it & ive told him before and he just says i will tell them later on after the baby is born that we are together.Whenever we talk on the phone it has to be late or when his parents aren't home.I know he is not cheating and i'm sure about it.I think it's his parents don't want him to talk to me.I don't know what to do..cause I don't agree with him hiding our relationship to his family,he should'nt have too.What should I do?Its really stressing me out.Somebody please help.Any advice.Thanks.

Answer 1

This is very weird. I don't know why he thinks that his parents would rather hear the news that you two are together AND you have a baby once the baby is HERE rather than before, I mean, the fact that they were not aware of the fact that they were going to be grandparents alone would p**s them off. He should just tell them because you two are together and having a baby and that's all, that's how it's going to be and they need time to adjust to that fact. He would be doing them a favor to tell them sooner than later. Stress is bad for your pregnancy too, you need to be worry free during this time although with anyone that is impossible, but explain to him how much it is bothering you and that it is hard enough being pregnant, why should you have to deal with this worry too?? NO he shouldn't have to hide this from his family and if he loves you and plans on being with you and being a father to that baby no matter what they think then what is the problem with telling them now? It has to cause him a great amount of stress too and he would probably feel better just telling them now rather than worrying for five months what their reaction will be!! MAKE HIM TELL THEM!

Answer 2

well she shouldnt hide it. wither his family likes it or not you guys are together and your gonna have a kid. You gotta tell him to be a man, be a bf, be a father to tell his parents that he is seeing you and you are having a baby. If anything his parents should be proud that he isnt trying to get out of his responsibilities and trying to leave you. He is doing the right thing by that part, alot of guys who ditch if they found out they were having a kid, but he isnt. You gotta tell him that you're starting a family and he needs to tell his parents that he is with you, he is 19, its time to grow up.  

Answer 3

to me it doesn't sound like you're back together at least not in the actual sense. if he was back with you he'd want to tell people especially since you're pregnant. Don't go along with it. Any relationship that has to be that secret can't be good.  

Answer 4

there is nothing you can do. you just have to sit down and talk to him and tell him how you feel and how he rlly feels about this mess  

Answer 5

Girl,  he's TOLD YOU and SHOWED YOU!!  He's 19!!!!

He doesn't want a commitment with you!!  He's willing to f**k you, but not marry you!!

You both are way too young and immature!!  

Answer 6

i think your boyfriend should have waited to make life AFTER he was married. i think he might just not want to take care of the baby but it is his responsibility to anyway. oh and by the way 19.......youre a bit young for that right maybe you should have thought about waiting instead of making one of the most important decisions of your life. im just sayin...

youre boyfriend is very irresponsible if he abandons you with a baby.

Answer 7

WHY do his folks not approve of you?I would inform them they will be grandparents soon.....they should be nicer to their grandchild,if you wanna give this relationship a serious go then your boyfriend better gets his act cleaned and start behaving as a genuine partner and daddy....or otherwise there are other options you know......

Answer 8

Hi,

It's a horrible position you are in.  Are you older than him?  At 19, he is too young to even think of settling down and becoming a father.  What he's doing is that he never told his family about you so how can he confront the fact that he can take care of himself and a family.  Also, if his family did learn of it, how would they react and what were his plans for the future?  Did he want to go to college?  When men are that age, they're not ready to settle.  Does he like things the way they are where he lives carefree and not locked into marriage and fatherhood?

If he can't answer you in all this, then I suggest you think the worst case scenario and sum up enough courage to deal with what's coming down the road for you and your baby.  Find comfort with your friends and close family members, you will need it.

Take care.

Answer 9

it happens sometimes, after the baby is born, just show up at his hosue. haha. seirously. try it, but remember, u got the bigger hand at the end.

take it easy... guys are like that. >.<

Answer 10

Why don't you tell his family.

Answer 11

He's probably really freaked out about you being pregnant and he's probably scared to tell his parents. Try talking to him sympathetically and tell him that you really need his support, and you'll support him to. Let him know that you understand that it's hard for him to deal with, but you'll be with him the whole way through. Also, offer to talk to his parents with him, and maybe he'll understand that this is all happening and he'll have to face it eventually, so it's better to face it now. Good luck!

Answer 12

It sounds like your boyfriend needs to grow up

since your pregnant you are going to need him,

well, not nessacarily, but he needs to just get

real, whats the worst that can happen?

Answer 13

Do you really think your gonna be able to hide your belly for 5 months? If this babies daddy is proud to have her then why not show it. What's he gonna do when the baby is here? Hide her/him? You have to be responsible and so does he. DONT hide it from anybody especially your parents. You'll regret it down the road if you dont tell.

Answer 14

It's definately because of the child, what are his parents going to think of you when your history would look like this?: together....not together.....together.......kid is born. It makes it look like you are an unstable and unpredictable person. Trust me he's doing it to keep u guys together and happy.