I'm pregnant and very VERY upset at my parents?

Question

My parents live in Oregon and i live in Pennsylvania. I try my bet to keep in touch with them,i don't have a cell phone and it costs me .10 a minute for long distant calls, Now them on the other hand have a cell phone. They know that i'm 6 months pregnant, they know that i'm getting married next month and i want them to be there. But i tried to call them last night since i haven't heard from them for almost a month, it said that both of their cell phone's were disconnected. You would think they would call me to let me know because they send you a noticed threatening to turn off your phone and they didn't even bother. It just hurts my feelings because that's the only way i can wish my mother a happy birthday in time. Ever since i moved here,they've been acting like they don't care about me or what's happening around me. All they care about is themselves and my half brother who is in prison for raping me. They alway's talk about him or my sister and her kid's. When i told them i was pregnant do you know what they said "why didn't you use condom's or birth controll?" Who on this earth ask's their kid when they know that i'm getting married? My mother in law is asking me why i haven't gotten anything from my side of the family and i told her because they don't give a **** about me or what's going on. I mean i try my best to make them love me but it never works,i alway's get pushed down farther, all i want is my birth family to love me. I mailed my mom a letter saying happy birthday and telling them how much i love them, even though they treat me bad, they'll probably throw that away. Should i just suck it up and forget them? when i think about that it just hurts. have any of you experiance something like this?

Answer 1

As much as it hurts, they have made themselves clear on where they stand.  Let me guess they blame you for the rape.  Move on..I know this is hard, but they have chosen the son who raped their daughter over you!  It is them with the problem not you!  You are getting married and having a baby...which means a new family.  Hopefully your mother in law will help fill the void.  And also make sure you do not become your mother.  Think about how much you hurt when raising your new child.  You will be okay!  Good luck!!!!!

Answer 2

argh!!!

why does this always have to happen with parents!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

okay.

first of they are stupid they dont think about u i mean....u should think the same how many things they did for u and maybe they are mad because it is stupid to be pregnant before marriage because what if u r left alone with the baby what are u gonna do?

i suggest u go to their house waayyy far i dont care how far and say sorry i love u ....

and if they call police leave them alone and stay with your step mother and she will be your mother from now on.

Answer 3

forget them... they act like they don't care or give a sh*t so wats the point in wishin ur mom happy b'day if she doesnt congratulate u for the baby...

Answer 4

hm. sorry, but you hav one messed up family... lol ^_^. ok, well my advise is to talk to your family, tell them how you feel about them 'ditching' you, and preferably in person (any chance you can go over to oregon?). If you cant handle that then I guess the phone would work OK. Chances are they probably have a reason for not caring about you, I mean people arent that evil just for no reason (mabe they think that you're a waste of space, that they were forced to take care of you, etc. you might find that their reason is a good one, who knows? just saying. Im sure ur not a bad person, but people can make some pretty weird choices when they dont hav all the information). So, just hear their side of the story, let them hear yours and have a CIVIL (try REALLY hard not to make it an argument, please) conversation about it. If it really gets nasty, I know how families-in-law can be, then you could have your husband-to-be talk to them (suggestion? i dont know its just I figur theyll respond more to a 'neutral' presence, if uk wat i mean. cuz if their mad at u they wont listen to a word you say). If all that fails, and they really hate you (but be VERY thorough, do everything you can, and wait a little bit after that too. they might need some time to talk & think it over) , then you cant really do anything about it can you? just move on, they will hopefully over time coe to realise their mistake, they might just need some time to cool off. In the mean time, you can start your own family, cant you? you have your husband, you child, and your whole life ahead of you! good luck!!!!

PS talk to your husband about it, he can help you

PSS eventually theyll sort out their own problems (im guessing that with your brother their simply worried enough and dont have time to be with you), and then theyll be back to normal

Answer 5

As important as family is to me, if my family treated me that way, I wouldn't want them to have anything to do with my child. Eventually they will be kicking themselves for not being more involved in their daughter's and grandchild's life. But until then, you can't force them to care. I say become close to your fiance's family (if you aren't already), because you definitely need support during this time.  

Answer 6

i have been threw this ever sence i met my husband my mom and step dad dont always include me and him and it hurts but the difference is that we all live in the same state and see your parents are in a different state so atleast they could of done was call you but thats alright you got your fiancee and his parents i ma sure they love you like there own. the only thing that sucks is that my husbands father left when he was a baby and his mom died 8 years ago so i dont have any in laws except his brother but my husband and his brother dont talk much sence his brother got out of prision i keep telling my husband you know i dont like your brother but i hope that aint the reason you aint talking to him and he tells me no that him and his brother never got aong but i hope for the baby and your sake your parents suck it u and talk to you and if they dont then dont let the be a part of your life let them take the loss of having a wonderful daughter and grandbaby hope this helps

Answer 7

My fathers side of the family are real snobs. When I became pregnant they wanted nothing to d with me. I sent pics to them, countless e-mails and no response.

My husbands family is 'dead-beat' too. His mom knew he was having a baby and she pretended to be really excited and then didn't even come to the baby shower. She said it was too far of a drive. She lived about an hour away.

Then, the weekend of my daughters baptism my husbands family came down for the event and actually skipped the ceremony. His mom took her boyfriend and my husbands sister to Atlantic City instead to gamble. I cried...they just told me "oh honey we are so sorry to upset you we just dont like church'.  Well who gives a f they should have been there anyways!

See...just because they are your family doesn't mean they are kind or educated for that matter. It sounds to me like your family is a bunch of ignorant fools. Good riddance! I wouldn't want them in my family anyway.

You now have the opportunity to create your own family with new traditions. Embrace your mans family and start a new wonderful life away from them.

You are not alone. I hope this helps.

Good luck with everything!

Answer 8

I know that their inattention right now is very painful to you, but you have to keep your focus on your little one. All that stress is going to affect the baby. You cannot control how they act, but you can control how you react to them. It is also possible that your demand for love and validation from them are things that they do not know how to give. For now,concentrate on the positives, keep your focus on you, your husband, your baby, and any other person who has a positive influence. It sounds like you are trying to show them that you are somebody who is worthy to be loved, your intentions are good, but you are going about it all wrong. Best way to show them? Keep on stepping and do better. Good luck.  

Answer 9

family doesn't always mean blood relatives, it seems like all you have in common with these people are dna, i can only imagine the pain that must cause you. now you have a baby on the way and a new husband and together you'll have all the family you'll need. not to mention the new in-laws who i'm sure will love you too.

Answer 10

all i can say is im sorry, that sucks!!! try not to stress to much its not good for you or the baby! and everything happens for a reason some times we dont know what that reason is but on day you will find out! good luck on the wedding and the baby.

Answer 11

You can't really force people to care or love about you unfortunately, so you're going to have to wait for them to come around (if they do at all).

But I say s***w them, think of it like this. You're getting MARRIED and you're having a baby!! You're going to have your OWN family now, along with your husband's family. If your family doesn't need you, then you don't need them!

Answer 12

Put the violin down, please!!!!!!

Answer 13

Well am so sorry to here this....This must be so hard for you but look you have a baby to worried about you should know that you have done your best to be there for them and to show your love.It will all come back and they will end up looking for you.You just worried about your lil bundle of joy your having and thats it

Answer 14

"I try my best to make them love me" what what what?!?!!? This question screams underlying mental problems. You really need some counseling. First I think the comment about using protection is not that inappropriate. For one, you’re not even married yet! Fixing to be doesn’t really count. Two, no cell phone and complaining how much a 10 min long distance call costs, I doubt you are financially stable enough to raise a child. From your spelling and grammar, I can guess you aren’t in college. With a kid on the way and no money I don’t see that any time soon. I think they are more disappointed in the path you chose and the future that lies before you, than anything. If your family was sooooooooooo important why did you move so far away? If you wanted to escape them, why are you hurt now when they want to escape you?  

Answer 15

This is just awful, and I feel terrible for you, but if you ask me, this sounds more like your families problem then yours. If they want to act like that, then, you know what? You're marrying someone you love, he's obviously got a loving family, and you're parents can just go to h**l. No self-respecting mother treats a daughter like that. Keep in touch with them, but live your life, and don't be so dependent on them. Frankly, they don't deserve a daughter like you. Good luck to you, and I hope your child lives a life in which they discover more love than you did. Treat your new family well, and you'll discover the pain your family have left you will start to heal. I hope you have a very happy life- you deserve it.