I'm pretty sure my boyfriend is lying but why?

Question

I'm in my 20's and my boyfriend is in his 30's. We've been together as a couple for about four months but we were friends for almost a year.

I know this question is going to sound stupid but I just wanted peoples opinions on this.

My boyfriend told me about a month ago that he can't have any kids because he takes pills instead of having surgical procedures done. Now I know there is no such thing on the market yet but I didn't tell him that, I just let him lie to me because it caught me off guard.

But I don't understand why he's lying about this because when guys usually tell this particular lie it's because they want to have unprotected intercourse but that's not really the case with him. He always pulls out before he ejaculates (this is his choice) and even though I'm on birth control pills he still pulls out. He acts like he can still get me pregnant even though he says he can't.

What I don't understand is why he would lie about this because to me it doesn't make any since. Plus I don't know what to do about it because I care about him a lot and I don't want to go accusing him of being a lier.

Any suggestions?

Answer 1

Does he have thinning hair?  The only thing that I can think of is that he is taking pills for hair loss such as Propecia rather than getting hair transplant "surgery."  Those pills can potentially cause birth defects, so maybe he is most afraid of having a baby with problems and therefore "can't have kids."  Anyway, if you feel that you cannot trust him, the whole relationship is in trouble.  These things need to be spelled out clearly before any more intimacy.  Sloowwww down.

Answer 2

sounds like he might have a little mental problems and i would keep an eye on that.  plus if he lies about something like this he would have no problem lying about cheating on you, and anything else.  i would start looking elsewhere for a man esp. since he is in his 30's that makes it worse.  

Answer 3

i think he just doesnt want to have kids. talk to him about it. you should be like "dude i dont want kids, so stop like freaking out about it. lets just enjoy the time of us being together"

but be lucky, because hes probably being cautious about everything.

idk but if you want to have kids. than talk about it.

and tell him.. your full of **** for saying you cant have kids and what not.... boyfriends dont have to lie

Answer 4

He's lying because he does NOT want to have kids. If you want children I would rethink this relationship.

Answer 5

My guess would be that he's trying to make it clear to you that kids are not in the future for you as a couple.  His actions make it clear that having children with you is simply not an option for him.  Which may or may not be a problem for you depending on where you stand on the child issue.  But, and again I'm guessing here, I would bet his assumption is that you do want children based on your young age and so he's trying to rather gracelessly dodge that bullet without addressing it directly.

Answer 6

Hmm, that's very strange.  You're right, he's completely lying.  While they're currently testing male birth control pills, they're not available to the public yet.

Is it possible that he participates in testing for those pills?

Is there any chance he had some illness, prior to your meeting, that has caused him to be sterile?  Even if you're very close to each other, it might be something that he's still uncomfortable talking about.

Does he take any other medications?  It's possible that a medication he takes causes him to have a low sperm count, and rather than telling you of the exact medicine, he's telling you just of the side effect.

You're right as to not accuse him of being a liar.  You're clearly an incredibly caring person-- most people would name him a liar and cause a huge fight.  

Personally, I would approach it in an innocent, ALMOST sneaky way.  Rearrange the medicine cabinet at your house.  If you don't use a medicine cabinet, rearrange wherever you two keep your medicines/pain killers/etc.  Do this while he's at work, or just not paying attention.  After you've moved things around a little, approach your boyfriend and tell him with a little panic that you think you threw out HIS "birth control" pills and apologize like crazy.

Your boyfriend will do one of a few things.

1.)  Admit to the pills being false.

2.)  Say he keeps them somewhere else.  In this case, you can say to him in a cute, excited way "oh cool where?  Let me grab them so all of our things will be organized!"  See where it goes from there.

3.)  Point out a perscription bottle that you thought was something else.  When he's not around, google the drug name and see what it's for, and what the side effects are.

There's not many other options for him if you put him in that situation.  Men do weird things, for weird reasons.  You could try checking with people you both know, too, and see if that gets you any leads.

Best wishes!!

Answer 7

hes afraid