I'm ready for a baby ,but my husband isn't?

Question

We are both going to be 26 this November, we have stable jobs, good income, a nice home, our marriage is great, EXCEPT this huge issue. Whenever I bring up trying for a baby he gets upset. He says he is happy now, with me and just having our dog. I work at a daycare, so we will have free childcare and I can see the baby often throughout my work day. He is great with kids, but doesn't want the full time job of being a dad yet. We are supposed to go out to dinner this weekend and have a serious talk about me going off the pill soon. He wants me to make a positive/negative (pro/con) list of what changes a bsby will bring.

My questions are:

How do I put into words how much I need to have a baby, and how important it is to me in order to feel fulfilled?

Can you list positives and negatives of having a baby?

Answer 1

i was in the same place you were once before..  me and my husband got married June 21, 2003 and i was ready for kids after our first anniversary..  He wasnt ready yet, and it upsetted me so bad that he wasnt ready..  Years went by and he was finally ready..  We started trying for a baby in April 2007 and I got pregnant in August 2007..  I know its hard but just wait it out..  Its worth the wait..

Answer 2

well it is best to wait to you are both ready

the pros are love and makes you feel complete

the cons colic colds a fussy baby a sick baby takes alot of time to get things done for a child

could cause a strain on a relationship

the best thing is to wait till you have been married 3 to 4 years so that you can have plenty of time for one another cause if you are like me mine is almost 3 and has never been away from me which gives me and my husband no free time to do nothing

The question that needs to be ask is why your husband wants to wait he might have a great reason  

Answer 3

before you got married did you guys agree to have children?  Some people just dont want kids.  I wouldnt force that on somebody who isn't ready.   It is a very big responsibility.  

1.  No one will ever love you as much as your own kid.

2.  It brings back memories of your own childhood.

3.  You get to play with their toys and go to cartoon movies.

4.  Kids are fun.

5.  Makes your life worth living.  

1.  Kids are expensive to take care of.   Diapers, equipment, clothes.

2.  You need to save money for their education.

3.  Your house will have toys all over the place.

4.  Kids can be a pain in the a s s sometimes.

5.  You lose your freedom (especially the mom).

Answer 4

it changes your life in ways words can't describe.  the joy of watching a human grow. learn about the world.

wait, lets get the bad things out of the way.  you will never get enough sleep again in your life.  never. 2 it is costly, 3. it is alot of work, 4. its like another full time job

posatives.  1. get to watch grow, 2. love like you have never known and wont till you are a parent and it grows daily, 3. so your broke but you cant take it with you when you die, 4. you can't die from lack of sleep (but you think you might), 5. it is pricesless to be the sole protector of a helpless being!, 6. its the most important thing you will do with your life is mold a child, 7. the laughter and tears (happy ones and a few of the sad ones), 8. being able to laugh at the dirt your child is using as a "dip" for his/her cookie cause its all you can do!  

the list just goes on. sometimes you get down, and you are tired. but thats how it is with most of life anyways so why not add some joy and stress over those A$$H0L3$ that tailgait and could rear-end you if you had to jack your brakes because of the deer and then what about your kid....thats what gives me indagestion.  LOL  good luck!!!

the only thing i will tell you.  make a date night for you and daddy a couple times a month (get a baby sitter) and stick to it.  its good for everyone.  really helps me.  if you dont have friends or family you trust nearby try to find someone before a baby is born!!!

-krw

Answer 5

For me, I want my husband and I to start having kids when I'm around 25 or so, so that I can space my kids out enough and not be semi-old still having babies. So depending on how many children the two of you want to have, you may let him know that you don't want to be in your late thirties still having your babies, and that you want to start now. Overall you should really be honest and open with him. Tell him whats in your heart and if its meant to be it will happen for you.Hope that helps, good luck =]

Answer 6

I think your husband is being very smart about putting a lot of thought into this. When the baby is born, you can't stick him/her back into your uterus to sleep in on weekends or when you want to buy a new shirt instead of pampers. You have to become selfless. Maybe your husband wants to invest all of his time in you and isn't ready to give that up yet.

Having a baby is a wonderful thing and it's a blessing but you both need to be ready because parenting is teamwork and in my opinion, it shouldn't be something that you need to "sell" or coax someone into doing...

I hope that you both come to an agreement that makes you both happy.  Good luck!

Answer 7

All I can say is that you shouldn't have a baby until both of you are ready. I understand that you are anxious to get pregnant, but he obviously isn't at that point yet. A baby really does change everything and maybe he just isn't ready for that kind of change. It could also be that he wants to enjoy more one on one time with you before starting a family. Try to be patient and give him more time. After a few months (or even a year) has passed, you could bring the subject up again. If you pressure him, he may never be ready.

Answer 8

Do you really think a pro/cons list is going to sway your husband into wanting a baby right now?  it sounds like a silly task he's giving you in the hopes that you will change your mind.  If you're ready to experience the joys of motherhood, there is no con that matters in the least.  When 1 partner isn't ready to have a baby, the only fair and rational thing to do is wait until he's ready...only you can decide how long you will wait for.  Why don't you just flat out ask him when he thinks he will be ready and hold him up to that....my cousin has been in the same boat and she's been married for 6 years.  she married at 29 and wanted to start a family on day 1....she's now 35 and still waiting for him to be ready....i hope this is not the case for you.

Answer 9

:Positives-There is no greater love than that of loving your child,you seriously can not love anything more than that little baby once you see it-it's indiscribable!

Cons-You're body will change,you're mood will change,when baby comes you'll lose sleep...but all that is temporary. Babies are blessings! Good luck!

Answer 10

No one can help you here.  You both need to be on board with having a baby.  You are still pretty young, you have plenty of time.  You need to find out what the issues is that he is having.  Men tend to be worried about being able to financially take care of their families, maybe that is what he is struggling with.  Do friends of yours have kids yet?  If not he could be worried about how his relationships with his friends will change. . .not being able to hang out as much, etc.