I'm really getting aggravated with my younger sister. She's sixteen, and has the worst attitude ever.

Question

For the past two years or so, we don't really talk (my decision) after growing up to be really close. She's the complete opposite of me basically, and I try to avoid her because of it. I know it's not healthy, but she makes me so angry sometimes I figure passing each other awkwardly would be a lot better than fighting all the time.

She always picks fights with my parents, over everything from them being too overprotective to not "providing" enough for her. I constantly tried to reiterate the fact that we're poor, and there's not a whole lot we can do to change that, but she still demands the world.

Our parents are older (late 50s), and they're stuck with bad paying jobs and three daughters (my youngest sister demands a lot of attention because she has special needs, and I'm in college so there's not much that I can do for them financially).

I'm basically just sick of her trying to pick so many fights. I don't care if that's her personality. With all of this unneeded frustration, I'm terrified of my parents' mental AND physical health. They deal with so much stress, I worry a lot.

What can I do to improve her attitude?

Answer 1

It sounds as if you are trying to protect your parents, which unfortunately you can not do.  In order for you to protect yourself from their misfortune you need to concentrate on yourself and college.  Your sister is being 16 and with a rotten attitude.  There really is not much you can do for her.  Talk with your parents and see what you can do for them.  You can't necessarily improve her attitude but you can change your approach.

Answer 2

she's sixteen and she's behaving like a self-important entitled brat.  Basically, a typical 16 year old.

stay connected to your parents.  Continue backing your parents up to your sister.  Know what buttons of yours she is likely to push and prepare yourself to not let that happen.  Then let her know that she can call and talk to you.  You're in the unique position of having been in her place fairly recently but now you have the adult eyes and experience to see your parents' point of view as well and she *will* listen to you more readily than she will your parents on some things--even when she seems like she isn't.  Try and find a different way to tell her what you have been trying to tell her.  You don't have to be her buddy buddy--this is a difficult time--she's still a kid but wants to be an adult--it's going to be rough and rocky.  

Once she out grows this period then your relationship with her will change again.  you need to stay flexible and make sure you try to relate to her as an adult on an adult level now so that the trasition is easier when you do have an adult relationship with her.  Also this will have the added benefit now of helping her to listen more to you.

give her a sisterly slap (figuratively) upside the head.  tell her she's behaving like a spoiled baby when she wants to be treated like an adult and then start treating and relating to her as an adult.  Change the way you react to and interact with her and you will change the way she behaves.

Answer 3

slap her around!  sounds like she needs to be put in her place for once in her life.  She sounds ungrateful for the things that she does have.  Ok well maybe instead of knocking her around you could help her get a job to buy those things that she wants but cant have. Plus it will give her a little responsibility and self confidence.  And a taste of the real world. Good luck!  it is hard to get through to someone at that age.