I'm really seriously about to pull out my hair and lose my cool?

Question

I FINALLY got my baby to settle down, nurse and then as I go to lay her down...she starts her ear piercing screams all over again. She has been non-stop screaming most of the day. She was alseep when I went to lay her down too. Then as soon as I leave the room she starts screaming. My temper is about blown and I am ready to throw myself into a grinder just to escape her cries. I can't handle it right now. I need rest but she is relentless. I'm normally not this upset or worked up over her crying but today I am absolutely spent on patience and understanding. I'm almost ready to end my own life because of one terrible day with her crying...which is not normal for me. My husband is in Tennessee and the closest family to me is still a half hour away and in bed now. I'm not sure what to do, but something needs to happen and fast. I'm spiraling downhill quickly. Can someone help me out here?

Answer 1

i definately understand your position.  it is good that you know to put her down and be willing to walk away.  i personally had a tough time doing that with my daughter.  you added plenty of good details here.  a few more like her age and if she's an only child may help.  you can feel free to email me. just check my profile.  

breath deep and we will work through this.  best of luck

Answer 2

Ive been there too. You are not alone. put her in her crib and make sure she is safe. close the door and let her cry. Some times you have to just walk away. go to the other side of the house and sit down have a drink of water or tea and breathe deep and count backwards slowly breathing every time you count. remember this is not your fault. You love your baby and this is just taking a mommy time out. dont worry she will be ok. after you have calmed down go and check on her if she is still crying tell her you love her kiss her and tell her that you will be back that you need to take a time out. You will be ok I am praying for you even now. try putting some white noise on for her. like static on the radio or a heartbeat bear. if that doesnt work try the vaccum my friend had to record an hour of the vaccum to play over and over for her baby.

Answer 3

First of all, you are NOT a bad person, or even a bad parent for feeling this way. You are a HUMAN BEING, and that means that you have your limits.

If you are worried about physically harming your child, then do not go near her, but find someone else who can. Letting your child "cry herself out" can cause permanent brain damage. Not only that, but at that age, crying is the only way a baby can communicate. If there is someone you trust to help you, give them your shirt (it has your scent on it) and ask them to first check to make sure there's nothing wrong (wet diaper, hungry - do you have expressed breast milk that the baby can be fed? - or anything like that). After that, ask them to just sit with the baby, rub her back, and hum. Leave the shirt with the baby.

If there is no one else, then take a minute to pull yourself together, remind yourself that you love your baby, and then go in and take care of her. Chances are you can control yourself long enough to take care of your baby, and not doing so could be even more dangerous. As soon as you have a minute, call up your family and ask them to do you a HUGE favor. You need help, and need it as soon as possible.

Please feel free to e-mail me if you need advice, or just need to vent at someone.

Answer 4

you need to call that closest family member that lives 30 minutes away and ask her/him to come over.. you sound as if your going through post partum  and to feel physically violent to the point you need to get away from your baby,  that calls for some action.. get on that phone and call them...

Answer 5

ok; heres what you do; you lay her down& wait for her to fall asleep then Leave. dont think of it as naglectiong. if she starts screaming like that just leve her alone, then she'll calm down& go back to sleep! If you need to give her some "Hershy good night kisses" hot choclate in a sippy cup. or 30mins before ber just dim the lights& play some of the ocean noises music& cradel her so she feels safe& very conected to you like shes safe

Answer 6

Just breathe.  You are doing exactly what you should do.  If you have fed, diapered, loved, bathed, and made sure that nothing physical is causing her cries then there is nothing else for you to do.  Take a little break..it is okay to let the baby "cry it out" now and then.  That might be what you need to do.  You are not from Pleasantville.  Every mother has moments where they would like to throw themselves or their child out the window.  What makes you a great mother is that you DON'T do that.

Answer 7

I know..... happens to most of us..... i dont know what to tell you...:-(

Answer 8

it ok. My daughter had those nights so often that I just had to leave her in her crib because I couldn't handle it. I also have two older children that I have to take care of.

My rule is that I don't let my baby cry over twenty minutes. Usually I am calmed by that time or she has gone to sleep. I don't let her cry if she is crying too hard to breathe, or if she is really upset.

But if your baby is fed, dry, and not hurt then let her cry for a few minutes while you calm down. You never know she just might go to sleep.

That is probably the problem she is tired but wants mom to hold and that is a really bad habit. I know my oldest was like that.

so good luck, and if you have to put on some head phones, not loud, just enough so you can ear her, but yet your not getting more stressed out by her cries.

Answer 9

You don't say how old your baby is, but after you feed her, burp her, change her, and put her in her crib (as long as she is not old enough to climb out and hurt herself), you have pretty much done all you can do.  As long as she isn't sick or in pain, you might want to try the pacifier and some soft music.  Close the door and go to your room or another room where it is quiet until you calm down.  No one has the right to be critical of you.  As a mom, this happens to all of us occassionally and you are doing the right thing by walking away, especially when you are tired and sleep deprived.  As a matter of fact, that's what pediatricians will tell you to do.   When she finally goes to sleep, I would quietly check on her and then go to bed.  Don't you feel guilty.  As long as you have tended to her needs and her safety, you take that break that you need.

Answer 10

You're doing the right thing by separating yourself from the baby and knowing that you need to calm down.  

I suggest you call one of those family members or a good friend or someone from church or anyone you can trust to come take the baby tomorrow for a few hours.  Let the thought of that get you through the night.  Tomorrow, when the baby's gone, take a good, long nap.  

ETA:  You've got some good answers here (and some duds).  Listen to the good ones.  Do whatever you have to to make sure you and the baby are safe.  Realize, though, that many, many moms have these moments.  My first child cried for 9 months.  (OK, not literally, but a lot of that time).  It's tough.  When does Daddy come home?

It'll be OK.

Answer 11

Maybe she is gassy. Do you have some gas drops. When my son was this age,   I had a similar problem. Also try a warm bath to comfort her, and give her a mini massage while rubbing her down with Vaseline or baby lotion. I'm sorry ur going through this alone. Hope I helped a bit.

Answer 12

I know how frustrating it can be to be soo sleep deprived...its sucks big time! But please don't hurt yourself. Not sure how old your baby is, but maybe she has gas?, upset tummy, ear infection, teething? Maybe give her some tylenol and give her a nice warm bath, then maybe she'll lay down and go to bed for you. The one thing that worked for my son when he was little was to wrap him up tight in his swaddler blanket, that way he always felt like he was still being held, they like that security. Good luck, I hope she goes to bed soon!

Answer 13

oh man, your just going to have those nights/days once in a while, and it is SOOOOO hard! I know exactally how you are feeling, everything, I would NEVER shake, or hurt my child in any way, but even now (my son is 3 as well as my 8 year old nephew i am raising) they push my buttons to the point i seriously have these "day dreams" of me getting really angry and doing something i wouldn't ever do.... as soon as i feel that way i remember he is just a baby, and i would lay him down in his crib and walk away, i use to smoke so i always went and did that, but now that i don't, i usually go somewhere i can't hear him, like out on my front porch, until i calm down and can go back in and deal with it calmly, i've had many of these nights, just wishing the baby would go to sleep so i could sleep because morning comes so soon..... my husband also works out of town a lot, and it was SO very hard because i was always alone with the kids, and he was working constantly.  It is so hard, but just do what you can to give yourself some peace, to regain your composure.... she is probably having some gas problems, at her age i wouldn't suggest teething yet.... gas is most common and hurts like heck!!  do you have anything to help her tummy?? there is something i used called "little tummies" it is awesome, it is dye free and can be given often, it is really safe, and helped me sleep a lot of nights!! also, if you've ever heard of the teething tablets, i forget who makes them, but they also have some for gas and colic, i would go to your local store and look in their natural food sections where the teething tablets and such are and they should have something to help with those things, and those helped me a lot, my son had really bad gas and was a colic baby, he had to be burped A LOT, we would stop feedings to burp him often because if not he would have a horrible stomach ache (it also depended on what i ate!) i also had no family around to help, and i don't trust many people to take care of my children..... i hope i helped at least a little! Good Luck! I hope you get some sleep!

Answer 14

There may be a reason why the baby is crying - she may be sick or have an ear infection.  Take her temp.  If you rule that out - How about putting her in the car (car rides sometimes calm a baby)...and taking her to your nearest friend or relatives house - explain the situation...they will be happy to help you I'm sure.  You need rest sweetheart.  Don't worry - it won't be like this forever.  I've been in your shoes so don't think that you're going crazy - you're most likely sleep deprived & depressed.  Take care.

Answer 15

Okay, just calm down!  If you're really afraid of being physical w/her, don't pick her up just yet.  If there is ANYONE you can call, even 1/2 hour away, call them.  You need someone there for support.  And you need to calm down.  I think every mother has a night like this.  You'll be fine.  How old is your baby?

Don't let anyone make you feel bad.  You're not a bad mother at all.  You're a great mother.  You realized your limit, and your reaching out for help.  You love her and you just want to help her.  That is a good mother!  Try giving her a warm bath to settle her down, or take a bath w/her if that will calm her down.  And then try feeding her and see if she'll fall asleep.  If she does, Just let her sleep with you.  Like have her lay on your chest or something until she is really out.  I know that is a bad habit but you're upset and she's upset.  And you need sleep!  Good luck.  You'll be find.  And don't let anyone make you feel bad!

*YAY*  Even if you're holding the baby, you'll have someone there for support.  Someone to talk to you, and calm you down and just to be there for you.  Good luck w/her!  You did the right thing!

Answer 16

Pls get a grip. Your baby is totally dependent on you. This is all brand new for your baby , he/she could be uncomfortable for some reason they can't tell you. Even if they just want your time give it to em.   Its just a baby. they just want love. don't b selfish , theres no time for that now .  if you can't pull it together call for help, bfore you do something terrible.

Oh and don't have anymore kids either.

Answer 17

If you know her cries are not an alert for medical attention then...take off you shirt and place it in the crib with her.  The smell of you might settle her.  Separating yourself from her sounds like a good thing if you need it.  Maybe just call a friend and talk with them over the phone.  When you feel you can hold her try a warm bath and wrap her tight like the nurses did when she was born.  Good luck to you!

Answer 18

first of all, you are not a bad mother.  Babies cries are not exactly soothing and are supposed to get under our skin, I'm sure this is nature's way of ensuring that we deal with them.  Every mother has been there, it is very frustrating to hear your baby cry and not know how to fix it.  I always found that when they cried due to hunger, gas etc.. it didn't bother me because I knew why, it was the times that I didn't know why and couldn't seem to fix it that was hard.  7 weeks is about that crying age, once you've checked and ruled out all the obvious reasons for crying, she could be overtired, over stimulated.  Your best bet would be to put her in her crib, maybe put some soft music on and leave for a few minutes just to calm yourself down a little.  Then try again.  I often found that taking them for a walk in the stroller, or baby sling works wonders. Considering her age, she probably would prefer the sling.  My baby often stopped crying after a few moments in that.  Plus the fresh air does you both good.  I also found, if I suspected bad gas, if I couldn't get rid of it the traditional ways, I gave my son a tsp of that baby gripe water.  That helped alot as well.

Answer 19

My only advice I can give is the same I gave to my sister when her baby was little and crying. STOP right now thinking about everything except your breathing. Calm down. Start remembering her birth, the look on your husbands face, how you felt etc., etc. and then go to her and no matter how much she cries just think about how much you love her.

I am glad you have someone coming. It must be hard with your hubby away.

We have all been through this - even the rude people! Newborn babies are not easy, ecspecially when you are tired and alone.

Give yourself a break! You are only human.

Answer 20

You really need to call your relative. It's very easy to get frustrated when nothing seems to work but what you are describing is beyond frustration. You need to call your relative and go see your doctor first thing in the morning.

It really does sound like you may have postpartum depression. It's absolutely nothing to be ashamed of and nothing you can handle on your own. Go to your Dr tomorrow.

Please call your relative.

Answer 21

I just wanted to let you know that you did the right thing by having your MIL give you a break.  I went through the same thing when my oldest was about 7wks and I understand what you are feeling.  Tomorrow will be better!!