I'm really upset.....?

Question

My daughter is 13, and very outgoing but when it comes to anything to do with puberty, she is so shy. I try my hardest to talk to her, but rarely get anywhere. I gave her a book about it and still talk to her occasionally, but she totally ingores me. Anyway, I found in the garbage (the dog must have smelt it and tried to get in the garbage) a used pad. I talked to her and she said she got her period, and had it 3 times. I feel like I didn't do my job as a parent. Was your daughter like this? What do I do?

Answer 1

I'm 28 and I didn't like talking to my parents about puberty either. When I needed to go to them I finally did, but when they thought it was time I wasn't ready so I shut them out at the time. Just back off from her. She knows you are open to her and there for her when she needs you, I feel that she will come to you when she's ready. You're not a bad parent and yes you're doing your job as a parent. Don't give up hope, she'll come around probably by the age of 14! You have expressed to her that you're interested in educating and informing her of the right info then she'll come to mom when needed.

Answer 2

Welcome to my world!

My 12 daughter did not have her period yet also.

She will be 12 1/ in August.

She does not like to talk about puberty also.

I did not get her any book or something. But, in her school the health teacher did a class on girly things just for the girls in her class.

The teacher told me that  Isabella (my daughter)

was very shy and did not talk.

Answer 3

It sounds like she's not comfortable talking about puberty just yet.  You got her a book.  That will let her read up on her own terms.  Let her know that you are there if she has any questions, but for the moment I would back off and let her come to you.

However, you should buy her pads and make sure she knows where to dispose of them.

Answer 4

I know this doesnt relate exactly but..... When I was at that age (im 26 now), I was never really open about stuff like that. I was a very independent person, and usually just studied things for myself. I did talk with my Mom alot, just not about puberty and such. However, I was very open with her about drinking and partying and such.

  Now my lil bro (who is now 16) is totally opposite. He talks to my Mom about all that stuff. But he isnt nearly as independent as myself. So in my opinion it has alot to do with the personality of the child. It sounds to me like you are doing everything you need to, provide her with as many resources as you can. She will come to you if she feels she needs to.

Answer 5

I was like that when my mom kept trying to talk to me about it. Finally my mom gave up and I  came to her not long after.

Answer 6

As parents we all like to think our children will come to us on every occasion that may happen or is worrying, new, questions whatever it may be.  The reality is our children are real people with real emotions, embarrassment, and privacy just like we have.  They may not always feel comfortable talking to us for whatever their own reasons may be.  It is not a failure on our behalf if that is the way they are.  It is our duty to give our children the confidence to know this is acceptable and whenever I found a situation that either of my children showed signs that something might be up and they didn't want to talk to me at that moment I would remind them that they can always talk to their doctor in confidence.  The library or CAB is also a good starting place if they need to find an expert on something.  Parenting is the hardest thing, and to reassure our children that if and when they need us we will always be there for them is at times all we can do.  Good luck to you.

Answer 7

i was like this its annoying and uncompforatable talking to parents about this stuff usally cuz they tell EVERYONE!!!!!!!

Answer 8

I'm only 19 i have a 13 yr old sister and some girls don't come to mom they just end up learning it on there own or they talk to other friends with it i don't think your a bad mom she is probably uncomfortable talking to you about it just ....just let her do her own thing with it when it comes to the drugs and drinking that's when you need to keep pushing about it

Answer 9

Give her time, she will come around.