I'm really worried that my partners mum doesn't like me, am I being paranoid?

Question

She's never actually said anything to my face, and I don't think she hates me, just isn't really keen on me and thinks that my boyfriend can do better. We have been together for 4 and a half years, since he was 16 and I was 15.

The fact that she's never said anything to my face doesn't stop me worrying because people ***** behind others backs all the time. I've done it and i'm sure she has. It's just stupid little indicators, like if I ask her say, 5 questions in the space of half an hour and each time the answer gets shorter and she seems more distracted each time, i'll take that to mean that she thinks I talk too much. I know that seems ridiculous to every one else but it makes sense to me and I regard body language highly.

I want to be able to be around her without being paranoid, what do you think?

Answer 1

I think you have to make an effort to be friendly and nice to her. She may feel that you don't like her either. How about this:

1) Ask her to lunch on Saturday. Only her and you.

2) Make an effort to compliment her on something. Maybe ask about some food that your boyfriend mentioned that she makes that he loves.

3) Smile and be nice

4) Give her time to like you and for you to like her.

5) It's necessary to do all of the above if you think there is a chance you will marry. You want her to love you and welcome you to the family. Good luck.

6) Make sure you always treat her and her son with respect in her presence. Mums always notice that stuff.

Answer 2

you haven't listed anything concrete.  It just sounds like you are paranoid.  Your statement that you talk smack behind people's backs so you assume everyone does it what makes you sound paranoid.  Trust me.  There are actually good people in the world that really and truly do not talk about people behind their backs.

why don't you try having an honest convo with his mother instead of grilling her (which may be the reason she gets short).

Take a deep breath and until you have real evidence otherwise just assume she likes you well enough but until her son decides to make your relationship permanent she may just be a little distant to avoid getting too attached to you.

Answer 3

if you have been with your boy for that long i would talk to him about it and see what he things, and far as you know his mom might just not have any social skills.

and if you already have talked to him about it, talk to her about it, if you have been with him for that long and plan on staying with him for longer, just come right out and ask her if there is somthing you did to disrespect her or somthing. if your lucky she will respect your courage, and like you more that you love your boy enough to talk to his mother about this stuff, and thne perhaps she will lighten up on you a bit.

somtimes its not that thye don't like you, they just don't like there kid dating and don't want to get close to anyone.

Good luck.