I'm scared of my dad??

Question

When I was younger my dad used to hit me like really hit till I cried so much I had a headache and once her headbutted me and through a chair at me. And he stopped hitting me at around 12 and now I am 15 but I can't talk to my dad at all I am scared that a might say the wrong thing or get trouble in school and it would set him off. I mean I got in trouble at school for accepting a note and my parents were to be notified and I had a panic attack because of fear of him.... We get on fine but we don't talk at all like at all unless he talks to me?? And just because used to give me regular beatings when I was youger i can't have a great relationship with my dad... I don't know what to do? and Ido love him a lot its just I wish I cud talk to him as a friend sometimes? Like everytime he wants to talk I get anxious and start thinking have I done all my chores is the sink full of dishes?? I hate asking him things like to go out with myfriends cuz he's really strict and thinks that going out too often is a distraction even thoughits my summer holidays and iget mostly a'sandb's in school anyway.....I don't know itreally affects my home life when he is here ?

Answer 1

I'm sorry to hear what life has been like for you. Nobody deserves to be a victim of abuse. Does your Mom live with you? Does he abuse her too? You must talk to your school counselor about what you have gone through; once an abuser, always an abuser. Your Dad needs to attend anger management classes and family counseling. Please, don't be afraid to tell a trusted teacher or school counselor or even your family clergy, if you have one.

At 15, your only worries should be what you are gong to wear to school the next day. Get involved in school activites and clubs or sports. Join your local Boys & Girls Club, if one is in your area. Volunteer at the animal shelter, senior home or day care center. You can also be involved in your school Peer Support Group or start one.

You have so much to offer. Write down the things you would like to accomplish in your life, then start doing them. But first, tell someone what is going on in your home. Home should be a safe place to come to.

Good luck and I wish you well. Please, get help for all of you.

Answer 2

you'veusersed you are not alone. Know that its not your fault...

I know a girl who's father beat her till she was 16. She was sexually assaulted by family members until she was 8.

But like her I'm sure you are made of tough stuff...

Its OK to be scared to help your self and its OK to be afraid to hurt your father. Its a hard situation but You can totally handle it...

Let someone close to you know. because once you've grown much older and found your own feet you may find you have completely lost your connection to your father...

Don't b afraid of the past. B yourself and if he does it again tell your teacher, she can anonymously contact a child safety agency

Answer 3

him hitting u like that is not ok.  u need to tell an adult.  even though he stopped he might still hurt u.  u r obviously traumatized about what he did and u deserve to have a life.

Answer 4

it is not ok to be scared of your parents and if he is the way you say he is; you really need to tell someone, anyone.  your 15 its not like your a little kid and your maaking up stories.  

Answer 5

Sorry to hear that. For some reason its accepted by african and african american culture that its ok to hit children no matter what the reason and most of my friends are always amazed when they find out my parents never hit me or any of my siblings even though we're well behaved. With that said, I'm sorry...the point I was trying to get at is that most african parents think its normal and were raised to think that its normal and its hard to teach them or tell them otherwise. What I suggest you do is the next time your Dad talks to you...tell him "Dad can I tell you something?" and I'm sure he will suspect something bad like you telling him your pregnant or something but just tell him that you understand why he use to hit you when you were younger etc, and that you work really hard in school to make him proud, but that sometimes you wish you could just talk to him about anything, that some of your friends hangout with their parents etc, and that all you want is to be able to talk to him even if its just about something you see on tv, without being afraid that he will find a reason to be mad at you. Then tell him that you don't normally say it but that you love him very much. That will warm his heart no matter how tough he may try to act and just try to have small talk with him from time to time. For example when you see him say... Good Morning Dad, would you like anything to drink? etc? things like that. Or Dad did you see what they said about Obama this morning etc...stuff like that works. As horrible as the beatings were so many people I know have gone through it and its because as a culture we have accepted it as a norm, just know your not alone and that the best you can do is accept it and realize that he just didn't know any better way to go about making a point back then, but appreciate the fact that he's slowly getting it now. You can do it hun. I have complete faith in you :-) Good luck, he's human

Answer 6

I'd be scared if he was my dad too......

Answer 7

have you told the teacher

or the school nurse

have you spoken with your principal

Answer 8

plz go to your school councilor and have a talk with her she will understand u need not live in fear