I'm separated for 7 yrs, but I'm falling in love with a married man. What will I do? ?

Question

After the drastic fall, I didn't know that I'm gonna love again. For I hated men that much and I couldn't even trust them. Is it wrong to feel this way? My mindset was to provide the needs of my children until he came. I just can't control coz we work in the same co. and dept. The more i see him, the more this feelings that I had for him grows. What should I do? He also told me that he loves me. How am I suppose to know he's telling the truth.

Answer 1

YOU SHOULD RESPECT MARRIED MEN HE  HAS FAM. WHY WOULD YOU WANT TO DESTROY A FAM.OF COURSE HIS GOIN TO TELL YOU HE LOVES YOU IF YOUR ALL UP ON HIM HE JUST WANTS TO SEE WHAT HE GETS FROM YOU.IN WATCH OUT BCUZ IF HIS WIFE FINDS OUT SHES NOT GOIN TO BE VERY HAPPY.THERES PLENTY OF SINGLE MEN OUT THERE I DONT KNOW WHY SOME WOMEN LIKE TO CAUSE PROBLEMS WITH MARRIED MEN.

Answer 2

Morals aside, getting involved here is going to cause you major pain and huge problems with your self worth. Think about how you would feel if you were this man's wife ? or how you are going to feel if you are part of the reason his marriage fails because he is too weak to back off?

Besides , you deserve better. You deserve a man who treats you as number one . Who respects you , can spend time and appreciation for you and who really loves you. Sadly, very few men are prepared to leave their marriages for their "girl friends".

Back away now for your own sanity and well being

Answer 3

He's married and so are you (separated doesn't mean you are free, until you start the paperwork) so why would you expect this man to be telling you the truth? He is married, but declared his love for you, so he isn't someone who his wife can trust - so nor should you. Its that simple. Unless or until he files for a divorce, gets all the paperwork signed, etc, he is cheating on his wife and so is NOT trustworthy. What he does to her he can do to you.

95% of relationships that start with one or the other partner cheating, end within 5 years - they just don't last. Do you fancy those odds?

Answer 4

Are you properly divorced yourself? He certainly isn't, and I suspect he doesn't plan to. So keep away. You don't want to do to others what was done to you.

Answer 5

shut the f*ck up. this man is married. you're a home wrecker. what's the reason your marriage broke up? was it b/c he cheated? i suspect it was b/c you were saying that you didn't want to trust anyone anymore. how can you do the same sh*t to someone else when you know exactly how it feels? he's married. it's wrong for u to be with him. period. there's no gray area. he doesn't love you. he loves what he can do away from his wife with u.

Answer 6

Stop, just stop.  In your heart you know it's wrong.  How would you feel if you were this guys wife?  And why would you want to be with a man who is cheating (whether emotional or physical) on his wife???  You don't know if he's telling the truth, maybe he's saying all the right things so he can get into your pants!  Hello!?!  Wake up girlfriend!

Answer 7

He is lying to get in your pants, Stop seeing him until he has no other obligation.   He is not the only man out there.  And if he cheats with you he will cheat on you.  What if the shoe was on the other foot and you were the wife instead of the other woman.  

Answer 8

you need to change your relationship with him. think about his family. would you want this to happen to you if you were on the other side.

Answer 9

if he have his own family then forget it, it'll distroy their family relationship, and if he has already divorced his wife or so then i think you can move on.

Answer 10

The truth doesn't matter here, he's married and that's the way it's supposed to remain. You broke your marriage, don't ruin another woman's. Or you think you can trust this one who is cheating on his wife with you? If what you are doing is ok, i wonder why you even left your husband. What you are feeling is normal but you should not act on it, that's why humans are different from animals, they can control themselves.

Answer 11

Contact his wife, tell her what he told you, and let the chips fall where they will. That is the BEST possible thing for you to do.

Or, better yet... get a recorder and record one of your "secluded" talks. Record what he says, and then contact his wife. This way you have evidence that he loves you. OR, even better, dial her number on your cell, and let her hear your conversation live. I say this because:

love never hides. love hidden is not real love, love hidden is lust. You may love him, but he may just lust you. Don't forget this. I am a man, and I know a thing or two about love.

Answer 12

You'd know it was the truth if he actually left his wife (divorce) and asked you out. Remember this old saying " How you get them is how you lose them" If you date a married man you are not only asking for trouble now, you are asking to be treated like his wife is in this situation later down the road. I'd be careful with this one, it's just not morally correct. Now, 7 years without love is a hard pill to swallow, but there are other (unmarried) fish in the sea. You should start dating and forget about this guy, you have children...lead by example. Maybe you should switch jobs? Do you really want to share this man with his wife? That's selling yourself short.

Answer 13

It is a normal tendency to be attracted to your colleague since we spend most of our day at work. I am glad that your perception of man has changed now.

Although the feeling is mutual, it is unfortunate that he is a married man. He may claims to have troubles in his marriage (but how sure are you??) You have to consider the feelings of his wife and put yourself in your shoes.

You had a bad marriage and went thru a lot of frustrations and anger. How would his wife react?

I'd advise to stay away from the guy despite your mutual fond feelings. Let him sort out himself and his marriage first. If indeed you were meant to be, it'll be. For now, lay low...

Answer 14

Thats sad how can u even be;ieve that ,how can he love you en going to his wife every night iam sorry but get urself a single man ,en stop being cheated,

Answer 15

Do not go out with a married man! It's not right and you know that if he truly loved you that he would get a divorce and come at you with respect and not as someone just to hook up with...I mean what more could he do with you and he's married? Get your own man one day when you're ready and leave hers alone!

Answer 16

Come on??  He's lying and your in LaLa Land!  

Answer 17

My advice would be as difficult as this might sound, to stay away. He is a married man and you have kids in the picture. You may feel strongly about him, but you also have to keep your cool, but any man who is willing to compromise on an existing marital relationship is someone who will compromise with you as well. You have gone through a painful seperation and you should not be getting into another complicated heart wrenching relationship. This relationship is bound to leave people wounded and hearts scarred. You know the sign saying "danger ahead", so take heed and change direction.

Hope this helps-:)

Take care

Answer 18

What you "will" do and what you "should" do are two completely different things.

You will do whatever your conscience and guilt will allow you to do.

What you should do is not for me to say, moral issues are personal things and it is not my place to tell you how to act or how to be.  You already know what the "right" thing to do (in your mind by your current moral values), so do it.

Answer 19

don't get in valved think if you were marred and some chick took your man

Answer 20

Well first of all you have to find out if he is indeed telling the truth or not. You know, if it truly is love on his part or not because he might be just getting bored and then all of a sudden he realizes his mistake and then you are left alone, heartbroken once again. It is really a tricky situation. Really only time will tell. If he chooses to get a divorce and be only with you will be the determining factor. Sometimes when you get married, you realize maybe you made a mistake but you cannot wait around for him to just have his cake and eat it too. If he is telling the truth, then he will leave his wife for you. If he's just bored in his marriage and thinks he's in love with you, then you will definitely find out. He'll drop you like a hot iron. Be careful. Married men can be really sneaky. Just don't get caught up. Who knows, maybe you are not really in love with him. You could just be lonely and he's filling that void. Either way, good luck. Just try to be honest with each other. Tell him you don't want to be wasting your time.