Ok i know it sounds bad but hear me out before forming any opinions :)
4 yrs ago, my brother got married to this gal. they didn't know each other for long before marriage, only a few months. my brother has an abnormal kind of personality and gets very rude with everyone including her at times (not that he's psychotic or anything but he is very bad tempered and rude). so from day 1 of marriage, my mom, me and my sis have always been extra nice to my sister in law because we always thought that no one can live with a rude guy like my brother. we never interfered in their lives, only things we ever said to my bro were good things about her and also adviced him to be nice and loving to her. coz we really believe that if they'll be happy together, it will ultimately be good for my brother and what else can you want for people you love, right?? fast forward 2 years, she couldn't conceive and started blaming my brother for that too. we kept quite. none of us ever interfered or pressurized about the baby issue coz we know its their personal matter and a very sensitive issue. besides, i've also been married 3 and a half yrs and unable to conceive. the only difference is that i don't blame my hubby and i don't let my depression effect my attitude towards others. afterall, its no onez fault. its just god's will. anyway, since last year, my sis in law has become very rude to me. she thinks of me as a very weak and sensitive personality (and its true coz i have
a very gentle heart and i'm also a bit cowardly). so whenever she's angry at my brother, she calls me up and says bitchy inconsiderate things to me. i never reply. i never show that i feel bad. i keep trying to laugh it away. but its getting more and more hurtful. i don't wanna discuss with my mom and elder sis as my sis is very over-protective of me (me being the youngest sibling) and she is a very strong kind of person that people don't usually mess with. don't wanna tell my mom as she has a gr8 relation with my sis in law and i don't wanna spoil their relationship.
i'd like to quote one situation in particular here, last year i was working in an office. i had just been there a month when one day a cousin of my sis in law came over to that office for interview. she gave a terrible performance at the interview. later on, my sis in law called me up and asked me to pull some strings to get her cousin hired at my office. but there was nothing i cud do (i told her politely that therez not much i can do about it). my sis in law took it very negatively. and for the last one year, she has been extremely bitchy. told me a dozen times that her cousin found a 100 times better job than me in some other office. told me a hundred times that i'm lazy as i left that job after 8 months. and keeps bragging about her cousin's abilities right after pointing out my laziness and inability to land a good job. so what should i do?? i'm getting tired. i don't want to be impolite or rude to her. i don't even feel like talking to her but she keeps calling me every 2 weeks. we don't meet much as they live in a different country. she also bullies me sometimes, playing mind games probably to keep a fear of herself in my mind. sometimes she starts calling my husband up and talking to him abt my problems for no reason. even my hubby says its really immature and strange as he hardly knows her and doesn't want to get to know her. her attitude is very immature although she is 5 yrs elder than me. i've become so afraid that i don't even talk to my brother for months at a time. just so that his wife would leave me in peace!!
above mentioned situation is only one of the dozen other bitchy things she does and says to me. she's very nice to my elder sis and mom. although they are not as sweet and polite as me. maybe i'm a bit too sweet and she's started thinking of me as a weakling. how can i change my impression without being rude? (talking to my brother about this is out of question coz that would hurt their relationship and it would also upset him a lot)
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