I'm so scared; I feel like I'm losing my mind?

Question

Since school started, I’ve been feeling awful.

I haven’t been able to sleep. I sit in bed for hours trying to fall sleep, and over the course of that time, I keep thinking, and feeling worse and worse, until, after hours, I feel so wholly awful that I end up cutting myself. I eventually fall asleep at two or three o’clock in the morning.

I’ve been having short periods of crying over the past couple of days, but only for about twenty seconds or so, then they stop.

I’ve been feeling really anxious, much more than usual. Despite the fact that I’ve been having panic attacks for about half a year now, as a rule I’m really not an anxious person. But the past couple of days have been so uncharacteristically bad. At times throughout the day, I have started feeling really, uncontrollably worried, to the point where I have been falling asleep with a drumstick in my hand, as a potential weapon against whatever I seem to think will happen to me.

My old anorexic ideations that used to plague me when I was thirteen have returned. I thought that I had recovered, but now, all of a sudden, it’s back, and as a result, I’ve been eating barely anything at all.

I was walking through my house earlier and out of the blue I was absolutely convinced that there were faces everywhere watching me—everywhere except where I was looking. They were all around me, staring, with wide eyes and big, manic grins. They are like the thoughts before I go to sleep, they keep coming into my mind. And I really never think things like that.

I have been diagnosed with depression, anxiety, and OCD.

I’ve been feeling even sadder than usual, to the point where I don’t feel anything else. Why, all of a sudden, are these feelings all that fill my head? I feel like I’m losing grasp on my mind by the second. I'm so sorry this question is so long, I just want to know what's happening to me?

Thank you so much for taking the time to read.

Answer 1

I believe you are definitely feeling a impressive amount of pressure and stress. Do find out what is the root of your anxiety! Studies? Friends? Family? Try talking and confide in someone you can trust, like friends or your parents don't just bottle it up, it just doesn't help. Open up your heart and just pour everything out to someone. Understand that you are not alone and try going for counsellings.Please do stop doing silly acts and hurting yourself! If you just hurt yourself in quiet and not telling anyone, who will notice what you are feeling?

I believe if you are willing to pour your feelings out to someone, someone will be ever willing to lend you a listening ear. I don't know if you are a religious person or if you have a religion but I urge you to confide in GOD. However, please do not get offended if you are a Buddhist or Catholic this is just my point of view. I believe GOD will bring you through whatever you are feeling now like how he helped my mom. Remember to confide in someone and go for counsellings. Love yourself, treasure yourself. I hope you will be able to get out of this soon and regain your happy self.

I will pray for you and all the best!

Answer 2

I'm sure your inability to sleep is helping nothing.  My advice - treat your insomnia first;  I'm sure getting that out of the way will make everything else a little better.

"They are like the thoughts before I go to sleep, they keep coming into my mind..."

That would be the 'obsessive' part of OCD.  One theory goes that the part of the brain responsible for telling the rest of the brain a task has been completed is faulty in OCD sufferers.  My guess; Everyone has thoughts like these in their subconscious, but OCD patients can't end those thoughts, so they persist until they become conscious thoughts.  Just try your best to force your mind to think of something else.

Answer 3

i think sharing your problem to public helps you a lot. i hope someone can give you the best answer you want. i just want you to know that there are lots of people feel the same with what you feel. don't feel alone and start talking to someone.

make some friends. even here in yahoo answer you can have a friend. i can be your friend. i can't give you the best advice but i can listen to your story.

just take care

godbless you

hope you feel better soon