I'm so scared! what am i going to do?

Question

here goes..... me and my boyfriend have been together for 2 years and i am 10 weeks pregnant! we had been trying for ages so it has become abit of a surprise (a really good 1).

we have known i was pregnant for 6 weeks, but this last week he has been really moody with me and yesterday when he was at work he rang me to see how i got on at the doctors because i was supposed to go and have my blood tests, when i told him i hadn't gone because i didn't have anyone to look after my two other children he flipped and started going mad at me down the phone! (i put the phone down)

when he got home from work he said me and him wasn't working and i should get rid of the baby! there is no way i am getting rid of the baby!

so we have split up and now he is sayin "you are not getting in the way when i want to see my baby" part of me is really angry and thinks he shouldn't have anything to do with him/her after what he said= what do you think??

Answer 1

I think when faced with the reality of fatherhood, some men act like b***s.  He is probably scared and feels all of this new responsibility and most likely wasn't ready to handle it.  Even if he wanted the baby in the first place.  Honestly, he shouldn't have said what he did, but sometimes our emotions just get the best of us and all of us have said stupid, hurtful things that we didn't really mean.  You should try talking to him.  As mad as you may be at his comments, don't try to stop him from having a relationship with his child because of one stupid thing he said.  There may or may not be a future for the two of you, but he does have the right to know and love his baby.  Best of luck.

Answer 2

He needs to calm down and asess the situation before speaking to you like that, you dont need stress. Tell him to think it out before he acts on his words and that you'll do the same (even though you prob already do this). If he has another episode and flips out again i'd consider other arrangements you need a partner not an enemy or ticking time bomb. Your two other children and yourself/baby come first!

Answer 3

hes being really rude!!!! :/ My boyfriend was the same with me at first...telling me to get rid and that. i'm 14 weeks now and at about 10weeks he apologised and said he'd been thinking and he knew he was in the wrong.

now were both fine and he always kisses my belly and telling me how much he loves us. just give him time x*x

Answer 4

Maybe he's just scared and worried about the added responsibilities. You should take some time apart and then talk about it rationally. I sure hope it will work out for you two, because a child is always better off with two loving parents. But, if you have to do it alone, just be the best mom you can be to that baby and let the father have visitation with him/her. Best of luck!

Answer 5

I'm really sorry, this really is the worst thing that probably could have happened just after finding out you was pregnant,

You are not to blame at all, so dint let your bf make you feel down. End of the day you was both planning a baby, he knew that, so what the h**l is his problem? maybe hes feeling stressed etc about having a child, or also I'm sorry to say this but are you sure threes nothing deeper? such as him having an affair? as it just seems very strange at hows hes acting?

You cant let the baby's dad have nothing to do with his child as that really is selfish on the child, although i can understand how your feeling.

Look you seem a good hearted wonderful women so put your head up high enjoy your pregnancy and you beautiful children...hes the one that's lost out on a family. good luck. xx

Answer 6

Try to work it out after 2 years of being together you cant split up over something like that!..

If he has no other children maybe the change in attitude is just because he is scared maybe its only just hit him that he is going to be a dad... Yes he would be happy but may feel clueless at the moment with what to do!

Make sure you sort it out people split up for things they should work on these days.. which is why the divorce rate is up.. Working this out will make you both stronger.. x

Answer 7

Well for starters, you don't have the right - either morally or legally to stop him from seeing his child.  It takes two to make a baby even if you're the one carrying it and both parents should have a right to be involved - no matter what your relationship is like with him.  This is not about you and him but about him and his child.

To be honest the story sounds a little odd - you've been trying for ages and at the first hiccup he goes mental and dumps you?  Are you sure there wasn't anything else?

All you can do is try to behave like an adult, sit him down and explain how you feel.  That it wasn't that you didn't care for the new baby but you genuinely couldn't get to your appointment.  If you two can't patch it up as a couple you will have to discuss how to proceed in a mature manner taking your child's best interests in mind.  That means sorting out proper financial provisions and visiting rights.  

I had a very difficult start with my pregnancy and ex 8 years ago (he didn't want me to have her, disappeared for 6 months of my pregnancy and then stated he changed his mind) and as much as I didn't want him to have anything to do with me or my child I had to put aside my feelings and do what was best for her, i.e let her have a relationship with him and if he messed it up at least no one could say it was my fault.  As it turns out her dad and I are now very good friends and he's brilliant with her.  We both know we weren't right for each other but we are right for her.

Offer your child the very best in life and that is a relationship with both parents with no arguments and hatred.

Answer 8

He has rights to see his baby.. and he's probably scared about the baby getting in the way of both of you, speak to him about it

Answer 9

simmilar happened to me,

i just ignored him, and he soon came back with tail between legs, full of apologies, its hard for them 2, they cant feel it, see it, carry it, pressure gets to them as they have to face p to responsibility in a good way, say your peace and leave it in his hands, you can do it with or without him x xall the best, take carexx

p.s you can stop him seeing the baby legally, if you want more info let me no, not that you should at all, but just to make the point...

prob best to work it out tho for babys sake if nothing else.

Answer 10

You should never have kids with someone that doesn't have enough respect and love for you and your relationship to commit to it by marriage.  But now you are stuck.  You cannot stop him from seeing the kid regardless of anything he has said.  Unless he did something really horrible, you are stuck with a baby on your own and he indeed can have visitation and you cannot stop it legally. It is perfectly fine to live with someone, but nobody should have children in  a non-committed relationship.  

Answer 11

i think that the two of u need a break from each other b/c the last thing u need while u're pregnant is stress, but not letting a man see his child b/c the two of u don't see eye to eye isn't fair to ur child.  

Answer 12

Sorry you have been through all this and it must be making you really worried and stressed.

Try to remain calm. If he is violent at all then I wouldn't let him have anything to do with me or my child/ren.

However, if he is just seeing someone else or moody or perhaps feeling daunted or scared himself and saying these things as a result, then let him calm down for a bit. Then speak rationally and let him be involved, on your terms. Say that he can only play a part if he acts grown-up, responsible and speaks to you respectfully.

All the best

Answer 13

heya i went thro the same with my x we broke up befor i found out i was pregnant then i told him he said he didnt want me to have the baby then 6months on he wants to b part of my babys life and i dont want him but then i thought how i would feel if it was the otha way round and dont think i could do it xx gd luck xx