I'm so shocked and hurt! how should i deal with this?

Question

My 6yr old daughter just admmitted she stole a pound from my purse.At first she said she found it in the garden,but i challenged her on it,coz in my heart i new she was lieing.This is the first time that i know of that this has happend.I have used punishments such as removing her toys from her room ect ect and have delt with all the other stuff kids get up to,but i am lost on how to tackle this one......please i need some ideas :(

Answer 1

At 6 she's still very young.  She has no concept of money yet. Dont blow it out of proportion. Treat it as any other incorrect thing she's done.

If she does it at 12, U got a problem.

Answer 2

She is completely normal six year old.  She has been punished - knows it is wrong so move on.  It does not mean she will be a delinquent etc.  They are learning all the time - it is not always nice being a parent.  If she develops a persistant problem get help via her school, in the meantime give her time and space and you will probably find it does not happen again.

Answer 3

tell her it is wrong and give her a time out in her room. She will hate that but she will never steal again! Show her what will happen if she will steal by telling her about jail. You will scare her out of ever stealing again.

Answer 4

practically every child goes through a phase of stealing, however 6 years old is vary young to be stealing

And a pound is quite a lot to be taking....

i would suggest you give her little chores and reward her: for example - 20p if she does the washing up, as well as about 50p a week pocket money.

she is 6 - there is no need for her to have any more money than that.

if she wants a toy, she should have to save up her pocket money for it.

Answer 5

Tell her that now she has taken the pound you can't buy her the toy she was going to get for being good.

Answer 6

explain that stealing and lying is not good.

tell her she has to go to bed 1 hour earlier for the lying.

tell her that for stealing she doesnt get allowance this week if you give her any.

Answer 7

first off i wouldnt be praising her for telling the truth...as others have said ..because she didnt, until you cornered her. yes she is young at 6 and yes all kids do it but in my opinion it needs to be handled as a serious matter so she realises not to ever do it again. I wouldnt really at this stage be too worried though and i wouldnt take it personally but i would make sure my child realised i thought it was a very serious misdemeanor.

personally with my children, they havent ever stolen anything from my purse (that i know of) but my eldest who is admitedly older than your child..he was 10...i sent him to the shop and said he could buy some sweets for after tea, he wanted something when he got to the shop as well, i said no. when he got back it was obvious from the lack of change he had helped himself to my money to buy extra sweets....i didnt allow him to have the sweets after tea and i also took twice  as much money as he had spent off him out of his own money. he thought this was most unfair but i said those are the consequences for stealing in this house, he accepted this.

if she gets pocket money maybe you could "fine" her....or remove a privelidge or a toy for a few days and explain to her that stealing will not be tolerated in your house. I would explain what the punishment is going to be and what happens to people if they carry on stealing. If she did it again i would take my child to the police station and ask them to give her a ticking off.(id ring in advance and check with them) from some of these softly softly answers im sure i will get thumbs down for my very firm approach, but theives usually learn from childhood that theft is nothing serious and there are no consequences.

dont worry too much though, you obviously already have disipline methods in your household that work so id probably just be consistant with that in this instance, this is just another childhood episodes that every parent has to tackle.

Answer 8

I seen this on the show Super Nanny. The parents small child was stealing so they played store. Trying to teach a lesson they made sure they made her "pay" for everything and enplaned to her where she could understand. Doing this they taught her that stealing was wrong without the child getting upset. If your daughter never understands that is was wrong then later it will be a big problem, she needs to know why it is wrong. On the other hand dont think of it as a big deal, I dont know a child who did not go through this at one point.

My daughter is going through a lieing phase, its a job but we are making progress. Just keep with it & good luck.

Answer 9

well atleast she admitted it, its not a big deal, she is six years old

Answer 10

try and catch her doing it, like leave your purse wide open on the table or something AFTER you punished her, and see if shes going to do it again. Im 14 and all my friends think its funny to steal from there parents and get there credit card details but i never have and never will :\

Answer 11

It sounds like a very long talk followed by a very sound spanking should probably be in order.

Answer 12

She is only 6 years old and is still learning. You need to talk to her and explain that it is wrong. Maybe say something like 'If somone took your toy without asking.... would you like it' etc to show that its wrong.

Praise her for being honest though and just make sure she doesn't do it again, she is still learning wrong and right so at this age it is no major issue.

Answer 13

go to your library and get the Help me be good book called "stealing".  These are great books for teaching morals and lessons of life.  They allow you talk about a subject without screaming and yelling.  Oh yeah they are by Joy berry

Answer 14

u have to handle this right, once i stole something from my cousin and my mother just brushed it off, and i got the impression it was ok to steal things, and then i taught my friends to steal, and they would steal clothes, makeup and jewlery for me, ll because she brushed it off, like it was nothing, i ended up getting alot of my friends in trouble that way and yet never got caught myself, but have stopped because i c what kinds of problems it has caused my friends, i suggest giving her the silent treatment like u cant even look at her, like u r shocked and appalled and make her sit in her room everyday by her self no tv no radio, no anything, u take meals to her! bathroom only exception

Answer 15

sit down and talk to her about the importance of NOT stealing and what can happen if she continues to do this. Talk to her on her level and let her know that it is not right for her to just take things, that she needs to learn to ask for it. Let her know that you are upset with her more for her lying about it than actually doing it. Then listen to what she has to say as to why she did it and don't let the reason" I don't know"be her answer, make her think about why she did it.

Answer 16

Simply remove the temptation where you can showing her the meaning of no trust. Rest assured though as this is a sign of her being not only tempted but also intelligent and willing to get what she wants. Use this to her advantage as to channel it through something more positive that you both can be more proud of with her accomplishments. Perhaps an earning system through small chores or or fun things like sports could help. Remember the old saying of idle hands being the devil's playground, as with children they are constantly seeking for the next stimulation to come or they will find it somewhere. Be that stimulation and be patient for you might like what you soon see.

Answer 17

dont worry, all kids will do something like this when they are young, doesnt make u a bad parent.

I was brought up in a very upper class family and i still stole little things from my parents when i was about 6 yrs old too.

tell her that it has upset u and if you ever find out she has done it again then she will not be allowed her toys or to watch tv and will go to bed early for 2 weeks.

Answer 18

Don't let it go unpunished, but it strikes me there is more than just one lesson to be learned here.  Does she have her own money? Perhaps get her a small purse and explain that is hers and this is yours and you never take something that belongs to someone else. You can reward/pay her for small chores (helping clear the table, empty the dishwasher, water the garden, put her pj's in the wash basket) and give her maybe £2 or £3 per week so she starts to learn about money. Then if she wants a toy or sweets you can say to her she can have it if she pays (you must carry her purse in your bag so shes always got it) and then its her choice (you must let her decide though!) and if she doesn't have enough she can save up for a few weeks. My 6 year old is becoming very good at choosing what toys (in the charity shop) are important enough for him to want to spend his own money on

Answer 19

i dn't know how to put this together

i think..just think..just maybe, your daughter isn't thinking that she is stealing

maybe she is just looking at it

and maybe because she doesn't want to be punished, so she lied

things aren't as black as you think always are

so......?

Answer 20

I would use this as an opportunity to develop character in your daughter. Build in her a conscience. In my opinion, you would do best teaching her scriptures about what God says about honesty, lying, obedience, trustworthiness, etc. Don't beat her over the head with scripture. Here, we pick character building verses and put them on sticky paper, attached to the refrigerator. Every time we have a discipline issue, we go to the scriptures. That way, you don't have to worry about telling her in your own words why she's done wrong. Use training moments as teachable moments to build character and faith. Give her a purpose for being good. Not just punishment.

Answer 21

make her earn it, by doing some labour.  wash some plastic dishes, or something she won't enjoy.

remember to thank her for her honesty though.

Answer 22

Talk to her about it. She is only six and all kids make mistakes. Tell her anytime she wants something she has to ask you. If you say no then she won't get it and that stealing can put you in jail when your older. Tell her never to steal and leave it at that. I hope this helped.

-Tara

Answer 23

Don't panic!  Ok, so she is 6 years old, and might not yet truly understand the concept of stealing.  I take it that she can help herself to biscuits / drinks / snacks etc?  Well, have you ever truly explained that your handbag and your purse are yours and yours only?  If this is the first time she has done anything like this, then you just need to use it as a learning tool.  You are very lucky that she admitted to it - in a sense this proves that she didn't actually know what she was doing was so wrong, otherwise she would have continued to lie.  Don't over chastise her, otherwise she may never tell the truth again in the future.  Don't punish her this time, just tell her that what she has done is unacceptable and she mustn't do it again - if she does, then knock yourself out and ground her until she's 40!!

Remeber though, kids don't know what is and isn't allowed until their parents guide them.

Good luck, and don't worry, this is not a sign that she will end up a juvenile delinquent ;-)

Answer 24

She is still a little young to understand that parents are not a bottomless pit of money. Nevertheless this is wrong and it is wrong that she lied to you. Bring her back downstairs and have a chat with her, don't rant and rave but make sure she knows that what she has done is wrong. Explain that next time she wants something she must earn it and she must never take money from you again. Make her do something she doesn't enjoy - tidying her room, washing up etc. to 'repay' you. Take away the toy she bought and say she can have it back when she has, for example, washed the dishes 5 times. Then let it go, don't keep going on and on about it. Forgive, but don't forget!

Answer 25

My parent swould take anyway every TV, nintendo, bike or anything when I did that

Answer 26

My daughter is 3 but I work with kids and I use books.  We read a book on  a topic then we talk about what the character did wrong then we apply it to what our situation is i would use the books Berenstain Bears and the Golden Rule or the Berenstain Bears and the Truth. She is never too young to talk to her about what she did wrong and what she should do in the future.  If you "brush it under the rug" she will think that it is okay.

Answer 27

its a hard one, at this age its usually an attention thing rather than intentionally stealing to be horrible. i remember doing something similar as a child and it was because my mum had just had another baby and i was jealous and wanted to get attention somehow, even if it was bad attention. you should talk to her and explain that you dont like what she done and she shouldnt do it again. make her see that it was wrong, and lying is naughty. if she knows she will only get bad attention from this then she shouldnt do it again, she is most likely just trying to push you to see how far she goes. keep an eye on her for a while aswell to see if there is any other similar behaviour. as for the toy tell her that she has to be a good girl to earn the toy and stealing to get it isnt the right way to go, maybe tell her you would get her the toy or somthing else if she is good and doesnt do it again. good luck.

Answer 28

Hiya Kez

I have a 6y old boy, he's done that before as well, at first I got very angry with him and sent him to his room. I did realize though that he is still young, so I think maybe go down so you can look her straight in the face and ask her if she would like it if you took something that belong to her, without asking. It is important not to look angry or annoyed though, just look serious. Then explain to her that when she gets older she could get in trouble if she does that and You as her mum wouldn't like that because you love her!

maybe explain that asking is better and that taking without asking is called stealing and that's not nice.  This is what I did, and he's not done it as yet again.

Explain to her on a 6y old level. What she did was wrong, but it doesn't mean she's going to grow up being a bad person, maybe in her mind she wasn't committing a crime, but looking for an alternative way of getting the toy mummy said no to.

I hope everything works out for the best :-) good luck!!

Ellie

x*x

Answer 29

She is only 6 years old!!!!!!!!!!! Punish her the same way you would if it was anything else!! Get over it she is still learning!! and she will learn from this!!

Answer 30

umm getting the belt and spanking her wouldnt be such a bad idea then she knows what happens at home

then u show her wat happens when she steals things outside of the house like at stores or something

then give her some chores and make her earn the money to get her toy

Answer 31

I would explain why it's wrong then I would have spanked her butt so hard she wouldn't even think of touching anything that didn't belong to her - problem solved.

What would your parents have done to you if you stole from them??