I'm so shy that I have NO FRIENDS. How to break out of my shell....?

Question

I'm a sophmore in high school. I am so shy that I would go an entire period class after class and not say anything to anyone. I have no friends. I would spend lunch in the bathroom stall.

there's a group at my school where students are selected to mediate between other students with problems. it's called peer mediation. I was chosen to be apart of this. the training includes going to camp over the weekened. camp is from friday-sunday. we have to be there by noon today. rightn now I'm feeling very shy and nervous. I'm worried they won't like me or that my shyness will hold me back like it has been all year. I don't want to mess this up, but I am just so shy!! earlier this week, I was thinking 'it's silly not to talk', but none of that makes sense right now! :/ I really don't know what to do. I don't like being the shy, boring, quiet, miserable girl and I want to change but I don't know how.

Can you give me advice on how to break out of my shell and stop being shy?

Answer 1

Face both your shyness and depression head on.

Try to confront your shyness first, because the answer to that may also cure you of your depression.

For me, a formerly painfully shy person, I found that getting involved in sports helped. Football and wrestling actually.

Football being a team sport, meant I HAD to communicate and relate to others. Plus, since we all had the same goal (winning), we all had something in common and could speak to it.

As for wrestling, even though its called a team sport, it really just you and the other guy on the mat. With all those people cheering (at home) or booing you (away). It helped me with performing in a crowd.

So dig down deep and get involved. Do NOT criticize yourself. EVERYONE makes social blunders now and again. Just blow them off and keep moving.

It is very hard at first to do this. But trust me, it get easier and easier..until finally, you don't feel shy at all.

Good luck!

Answer 2

Hi,

To be honest I also were like you about the same age. Now I study at university. I am not shy anymore. the solution:

First pinpoint the causes of your shyness on a piece of paper honestly. Then get ready to fight. Yes, to fight. Shyness is a barrier in out path of success at any stage of life. If we don't break it it will grow greater and greater. So, act against your inner impulses. If you don't like to go shopping alone, decide to go alone right now. If you are stressed all because of the camping program face it with courage. I reassure you that nothing will happen. Why should others hate you or not like you. If you think you are detestable and boring then what do you expect others to think about you. Just decide and act.

Pick some time in a day and sit in a silent room without disturbance and concentrate on your mind and repeat aloud: I am brave. I am lovely and accepted. Nothing is gonna happen if I contact others.

Then, among your mates choose one adn try to approach them. No ropes are on your hands or feet tp stop you from approaching or you aren't at all mute. So just go on and go on. Concentrate on your goal not potential obstacles. Do not lose your hopes if you failed even 1000 times. Edison , when failed 999 timesT said: I didn't fail I just DISCOVERED 999 ways which didn't lead me to electricity! (or sth like that)

At last, Pray and be confident. You can i am sure that you can.

take the first action as soon as you are done with my letter.

Good luck!

Answer 3

i use to go whole days at school without talking to people just cus i didnt feel like talking so one class aint too bad. The only advice i got for you is when your shy people asume thats your personality, and might not like you cus of it or at least not talk to you. so if they might not like you, or talk to you anyways you might has well give it a chance and that way if their gonna dislike you it will be cus of your personailty, not somthing they think is your personality.

Answer 4

the best way to get over fear {being shy is a great example -fear of rejection- is simple follow this two steps

i. Fell the fear but do it anyway

ii. julius fast says in his book -Body Language-

"Fear can be concealed by throwing youself vigorously into the action you Fear"

trust me it works everytime, {fear is a constant it is by accepting ti that we get over it -do urself a favour and go to camp u wont regret it-}

Answer 5

i used to have the same problem, the eisiest way is to join a club or group of something that you enjoy this way u will meet like minded people. think back to before 8th grade n how you made friends then maybe this could be a starting point to makin new friends. even smiling at a person eases things take your time n friends will soon come x

Answer 6

So start small, say you're in class and someone says something that makes you think something funny in your head or you have a comment about, then say it out loud, to no one in particular...you don't have to say it loud, just loud enough that the person sitting nearest to you can hear it..do this a few times, and if someone thinks youre funny or they feel the same way, they'll speak up. then you have something in common.. it's like fishing. Getting a part time job in retail will also help, because you are forced to make small talk with customers. Talking with them isn't as bad, because you'll probably never see them again, so there shouldn't be any pressure. I used to be very shy, I once used to go over a friends house and sit there for a few hours with them watching tv, then leave. the whole time i was there i didnt say not one word. then after a few months went past i finally started talking.actually i started with just one sentence," see you guys later".. they were all shocked i even said anything at all. now you cant shut me up sometimes. around new people im still pretty shy, but at least i can make small talk now. so just start small.

Answer 7

just be a bit more trustful towards the people around you and above all be yourself

Answer 8

You don't have to be eccentric to be popular, you just have to be confident. Start off small. You see the same people at school everyday, and deep inside you probably know that if you put them off in some way it could come back to haunt you.

So, don't experiment with them. Go out somewhere and find another girl you think you may have something in common with and walk up, introduce yourself, and start a conversation. If you s***w up chances are you'll never see them again anyway. Its foolproof.

Everntually when you are self-confident enough you will learn to stop judging yourself so harshly and stop caring what the repercussions of saying something wrong will be. Just be yourself. Develop your talents.  

Just remember: Never act any particular way because you think its what people really want; if you don't feel comfortable its not you.

Answer 9

ok now you got a friend

contact me

[e-mail]

Answer 10

have you tried talking to your guidance counselor or seeing a therapist?