I'm starting to hate my husband's motorcycle. Advice?

Question

I loved his bike...at first. I thought it was a great idea, a fun hobby, and something he could do that was just his. Well now...that's all he does. He leaves for work on the bike, comes home on the bike, and then proceeds to work all night on the bike. And when he runs out of things to do, he participates in a forum website that offers more to do on the bike.

He recently removed the passenger seat, and before that has only ever taken me for one ride. We also have a two year old who would like to play with daddy when he comes home, but even now as I'm making dinner his dad is "making his key look cool," and too busy to play. The d**n bike key. Come on now.

If I blow up, he's going to resent me. But I'm seriously starting to resent him. I'm all for a hobby, but we're a family and there is some balance needed. Also, bike mods are NOT cheap. He's put a few thousand dollars into it now, and that is AFTER buying the bike brand new. Any advice?

Answer 1

Sounds like you two need to have a talk.  Let him know how you feel.  He's leaving the family out and unless things can be worked out.... he may find himself without a family.  He doesn't know what he has until he's lost it.  Don't give up on him.  Maybe you could tell him you miss him over dinner or at a time when he's most likely to listen.  You can not blow up at him and expect him to like it.  You need to find a calm way to discuss it.  Be prepared though....things may not go your way.  His bike no longer for couples.

Answer 2

He sounds pretty obsessed with the bike. My guess is that you are both still very young and he doesn't yet understand his responsiblities as a father. The bike is probably his first "toy" and he can't get enough of the adrenaline rush. He's hooked. Nothing compares to going 100 miles an hour on 2 wheels. Everything else is boring. He may not be ready for fatherhood. You may have to leave him in order to find out what it is that he really wants. If he wants you and his child, he'll do anything to get you back. If he doesn't, well then you are better off without him. Good luck to you.

Answer 3

I think maybe it is time to have a small blow up at him and tell him exactly what your feeling.  I think he is enamored with the bike and need a wake up call to remind him of the importance of the rest of his life.

Answer 4

You need to let him know how you are feeling. He is neglecting his family. That is not good.

Answer 5

just explaine it to him!! he isnt gonna die if you tell him the truth! and motercycles are awsome! really easy to get attached to.  just set a certain time when he should be with his kid. make it clear that his family comes first.

Answer 6

you need to get him to listen to you with the help of a relative because this bike thing has become an obsession .when he doesn't spend time with you and his son hes going to far hes obsessed and needs help

Answer 7

Tell him it's dangerous.  How his body would go flying if he crashed.   If he doens't wear a helmet that's even worse.  Could seriously get killed on those things.

Also, Tell him how you feel.