I'm stuck between my husband and my son...?

Question

I've been married 17 years and our oldest is 16. The friction between my son and my husband is getting worse as time goes on. My husband has always been the best father anyone could hope for their children - active, involved, loving, caring...but in the past year or two things have changed significantly between them. We've always presented a "united front" to our children backing each other's play and then if, for example, he doesn't agree with something I've said or done, he tells me about it later and we discuss it away from the children. I know teenagers swing from being very logical thinking young adults to very emotional children and that can be very frustrating, but my husband seems to have lost all patience with our son. I feel stuck between the two of them. I'm obligated to support my husband so we can present that united front, but when he's saying or doing something I disagree with, I feel like I should stop it - but that will undermine him in front of our son.

Answer 1

discuss the issue infront of your son if worst comes to worse. if your son sees you taking a stand for him while telling your husband what you think is wrong, it may just boost his confidence.

I'm 17 and almost the exact same thing is happening at my house where I am the victim of my father's 'wrath' as you might call it. All I want my mom to do is step up to my father before the damage is done, but she never does. Trust me you standing up to your husband infront of your son may help matters with your son's esteem.

hope I could help:)

Answer 2

Recently had a very bad situation with my 16 year old daughter. We had to put her in rehab. Now she is out, and we are doing family counseling. You learn tactics for coping with this hard time - you also learn each others "triggers." May I suggest family counseling to you?

One month may not be enough. It sounds like a cooling off period "may be what the Dr. ordered".  16 is a rough age. I remember when I was 16. You think you are an adult and want to be treated as such. As a dad, you know they are still a child and not capable of making adult decisions. Friction is common between fathers and teen age boys. Good luck to you.

Answer 3

Put your husband in his place if you don't agree with what he  saying to your son. I mean come on, he is your baby. But you shouldn't act out of proportion to the situation.

Answer 4

Could you give an example of something your son has done that you husband has overreacted to?

Since you and your husband seem to be at oppisite ends of the spectrum, meet together before anything is said to your son, to find a common middle ground to take. If you don't do this, not only will the relationship between you and your husband go sour, you will be a disservice to your son because as you continue to l**k his wounds for him, he won't learn how to toughen up and be a man in the real world. In the real world, he needs to learn how to deal with people who are not always stroking his ego.

Answer 5

wen u disagree with something u rhusband says tell him right then and there. cause if u dont then that will inflict on how ur son. like how good of a parent he is. and u should have ur son and ur husband sit together and talk about wats bugging them only u should sit with tem so they dont start fighting.