I'm taking my daughter to build a bear for her birthday. What is fair?

Question

My daughter has birthday money for build a bear for this trip from her Pappa.

She is having a friend spend the night tonight. The friend was suppose to leave before we went to build a bear. Now she has to stay until later because her parents have to work. She will be going to build a bear with us.

What is fair? Should i make everything equal? Should i just buy the friend a cheap bear?

Answer 1

I would not go out of my way to make everything equal unless you have the money to give away. I would go with a basic critter and be done with it. Explain up front that your child is using their very own money and if they would like to get some you can give them x amount to pick out something.

Answer 2

i would confirm this with the parents and if they give you money, then buy her a bear. but if money is tight at your house or your short i would just get your daughter the bear.

Answer 3

Make the kid have a 20$ limit including the price for the bear!

Answer 4

I would tell the parents the situation-you were planning on taking your daughter after theirs left and you were not planning on paying for 2 bears. Tell them if they want their daughter to have a bear as well you would greatly appreciate being reimbursed. Otherwise I would not buy a bear. I know it may sound rude but money these days is precious and if you were not planning on paying for extra-don't. just be kind to them and they should understand-anyway you are doing them the favor right?

Answer 5

I used to manage a BABW. When the kids would have parties, often the Bday child would get a tricked out bear and the guests would get the basic $10 bear with bows and ribbons. They never had an issue.

The Bearbuilders will still make it a special moment for her (especially if you tell them on the sly what's going on they'll usually pay a little bit of special attention).

If she asks, tell her that this your daughter's special gift money from her papa but she can get bows and ribbons today (or a tee shirt if you want) and come back with her mom and dad to pick out an outfit.

Also, be sure to take your camera and take a pic for papa! He'll love to see what she made!

Answer 6

Buy her one of the smaller pre-stuffed animals, or, if she already has stuff from there, buy one of the little accessories.

It'd be nice for her to have something out of it, too. But it doesn't have to equal (and shouldn't) the b-day girl's gift.

Answer 7

call them and ask if they are willing to pay you back

Answer 8

If you went to pay for her let your Daughter  get an animal any price and a few outfits while have her friend get cheaper things w/ maybe one outfit. Tell her mom whats going on and have her give you money so you can pay for her Friend!

Answer 9

call her parent's and let them know you were only planning on taking your daughter, but you would be happy to buy their child a bear as long as they pay you back. it is your daughters birthday, not the other girls. you shouldn't have to buy her something, and build-a-bear is already expensive as it is.

Answer 10

postpone the trip

Answer 11

If you don't want to spend the money on this child, then do the build-a-bear another day with your child.  Tell her that since her friend is over, you'll take her another day, but today she can play with her friend a little longer.

Otherwise, I would make it equal.

Answer 12

Wait until she goes home and then take your daughter to build a bear.  

Answer 13

yeah you can buy her a cheap bear they have there...my mom does the same with us if one of my friends is there.just get her the cheapest bear and let her pick out only 1 wardrobe

Answer 14

I think you should of told the parents that you were going to build a bear and see if they let her go. But I also think it is fair  for both of them have to one. You need to see the parents going allow her to have a build a bear.  

Answer 15

Let her parents know the circumstances. I would think it only to be fair for you to pay for your daughter's bear. Afterall, it is her birthday and not her friend's.

If her friend's parents want to contribute some money for their daughter to participate then great! If not, then like I said, it is your daughter's birthday.  

Answer 16

Most kids bring a whole birthday party of kids to BuildABear so surely you should be able to get both girls a bear. Either tell your daughter privately that you are getting a smaller/less expensive bear and one outfit this time so her friend doesn't feel bad and you will get more outfits at another time or reschedule BuildABear for another day. Even though it's your daughter and her birthday, it would be really inconsiderate to get your daughter an expensive bear and her friend a cheap one.

Alternatively, you could call the girls' parents and explain the situation and ask, if you were to also get their daughter a bear, if they would pay you back for the difference.  However, since it is your daughter's birthday and she is obviously not getting a birthday party this year I think you should just buy this girl a bear like your daughter is getting.

Answer 17

Postpone Build A Bear until after the friend leaves. I'm sure if both the friend's parents are working they can take her to Build A Bear themselves.  Do something else while the friend is there such as milkshakes at Wendy's or get them pizza and Ice Cream or go to the park or swimming pool.  It wouldn't be fair to the friend to get less or nothing while your daughter gets something expensive. It would be like two girls going to the mall . One has money and buys a bunch of stuff and the other has only enough for a small lunch. It wouldn't be fair to the girl with only enough for lunch to watch her friend buy stuff and not her. This comes from experience.  I knew a girl who always had a lot of money on her at the mall and bought lots of clothes and jewelry while I only had enough to get a slice of pizza and a smoothie. It hurt my feelings that that other girl got to buy lots of stuff and I couldn't.  So basically it might hurt the other girl's feelings if you took her with you to Build A Bear and she didn't get to get as much stuff as her daughter. Just postpone Build A Bear until after the friend leaves so it would be fair.

Answer 18

I would either postpone the trip to build a bear until it was just my daughter, pointing out that now she gets to spend more time with her friend, so she's actually getting more fun, not less, because you aren't canceling the trip to build a bear, just postponing.  OR I would take them both and treat the other girl.  Depends on my budget.  I would not be asking the other parents to do anything, too much trouble and room for misinterpretation etc.