I'm thinking about giving my kids up for adoption!?

Question

I no ur tinkin wat a stupid Q.But dats wat been going thru my mind daily.Trust me,I'd never thought I would have this thinking about my kids either.It didn't happen until I had them.They weren't planned, but my ex-bf wanted 2 get prego.I was turned on by the idea he wanted to have a baby w/me.So I just went along and let it be a surprise.I didn't think I could get prego.Since I've been w/my ex husband for 5yrs.I'd thought about abortion,but I couldn't do it.I didn't expect to have twins girls either.Had lots of complications,was on bedrest,they were 9 wks early,was in the NICU for 1mon.I wanted2c all my options.But every1 was givin me c**p,so I decide2 keep them.Part of me, just feel lik I hav them because of people around me.I hate it if I want them or not it should b up2me.Parenting has been so hard 4me.I no 4every1.But mentally it's harder 4me.I'm not mentally stable and I get verbaly abusive towards them&that kils me.I want beter 4them.I'm torn.They're now 5.Pls help w/advice Thx!

Answer 1

Yes please get the children out of your care one way or the other. You should not be verbal abusive towards them. You clearly are not ready to be a parent and maybe never were. What about their father can he take them? Someone else in the family?  If not finding a decent adoptive family to take them in would be best. Grant it at their ages its likely they might linger in foster care for a while perhaps years. Perhaps you can try and find someone in your life willing to take them.

Answer 2

Khandy,

Your girls are 5 yrs old.  They know you are their mother.  I really think giving them away would be very harmful for them.  Are you getting help?  Get counseling and go to your doctor for help.  Do you have any family to help you?  Explore all of your options and get help.  

IDK, i torn on this one.  Don't abuse your girls!  Get yourself together, you're a mom now.  Your girls need you.  

If you aren't going to get help and if you continue to verbally abuse them, then maybe you should consider adoption.

Answer 3

omg,.. lmao,..irresponsible, immature, stupid,. parent like you don't deserve children's love,..

Answer 4

Yep, your children deserve better.

Answer 5

you should have been responsible and never had the kids, i feel so sorry for them to have an immature parent like you

Answer 6

Wow, times are tough I just didnt think it would come to this...i hope people can realize to put their effort more in protesting our sick system than making kids that will make the system unberable to live in...I know it must be difficult..i feel bad for u...later

Answer 7

Get a physical and see about getting some counseling. Do you have any family to help you? Does the dad help you? Get some help.

Answer 8

Give them up 4 adoption plz. It'll be good 4 u and them.

Answer 9

Is there a family member that could care for them? That's always the best choice in a bad situation like this.

Thank you for choosing life; I hope you and your children have a brighter future.

Answer 10

you should let someone adopt them,they need a good loving stable home,there are plenty of people who would adopt and love your kids..and im sure they could make it to where you could still keep in contact,pictures etc...

Answer 11

DONT DO THAT. JUST HANG ON GOD WILL MAKE A WAY FOR YOU. GOD BLESS YOU =)

Answer 12

No matter what anyone thinks you need to do whats right for those kids! Adoption is a good way for them to have a better life! Atleast your trying to do whats best for them!!

Answer 13

I wouldn't espesially if they are 5 that would mean that they would remember what you looked like and they would have already grown close to you and think about how you would feel about that. But its your decision.

Answer 14

You do what you feel is right for them.

Answer 15

Call an adoption agency. Good choice in not getting abortion.

Answer 16

Maybe you could foster the kids to a family member. You may be sorry in a few years if you gave them up for adoption.

Answer 17

see if one of ur nice friends or a relative would like them or sumeone u can trust

Answer 18

I don't think this a stupid but it is a life changing one. May I suggest you contact a local adoption agency or county services to discuss your options. There is always voluntary placement, a family placement with relatives etc. I take it that your ex boyfriend is out of the picture but would he have family that would be inclined to care for your twins. The upshot is that alot of infertile parents love the idea of twins so I don't think placing them would be that hard. The biggest challenge for you is how you can make a decision that gives you peace of mind, whatever you decide.  Blessings to you in this process.

Answer 19

look there your children and someday they may grow up to be strong and healthy women. i mean there your kids and i think you should keep them

Answer 20

You should give it to a member of  the family.

Answer 21

If you can not care for them and think you might harm them with your verbal abuse, yes let someone adopt them!

Answer 22

Do what you feel is best for your children...other people's opinions do not matter because they are not in your shoes.  There are plenty of families that would love to adopt your daughters and give them a loving home.  My husband and I are getting ready to adopt in the near future and we want to provide a home for children who's parents were unable to.  There are so many people like us out there...you will find someone.  I would go to social services...they will be able to help you decide what is best for you and your daughters.  Good luck.

Answer 23

That is so wrong that you were turned on by the idea that your Ex-Boyfriend wanted you to have his kids and you only went along with it because of that... That is just so wrong and i truly believe that giving them up for adoption would be more than the right thing to do because then they will be with people that really DO want children.

Answer 24

If its that bad then I think you are doing the right thing by considering adoption instead of keeping them and something potentially harmful happening due to your temper(not tryin to be mean about this so sorry if it comes off that way) You should talk to the father of the kids.If you are not together then I'm sure since he wanted them he would be MORE than willing to take custody of them,but if not then I think adoption is the right thing to do.

Good Luck

Answer 25

At 5 years old that would be so hard for them... They now know who you are and know you are their mom. If they were way younger, i would understand.. but yo have kept these girls for so long that it would ruin them mentally for the rest of their lifes. you may regret your decision of giving them away in the future.. i would say keep them and love them. go get metal help. it seems like you need it

Answer 26

why not adopt them out it would be good for them and they are young take care and let yourself at ease at least you didnt' abort them and they area live. maybe some day you can explain to them what circumstances you had give them the option to find you and take care.

Answer 27

You could try fostering them out until they are older / you are more stable and capable of looking after them - but i agree with what many other people have said - why on earth would you even let this happen?

Your poor children! You really have to stop being so selfish and think of them for a change. The thought of a person who cares only for themself makes me really angry.

Answer 28

yes give them up for adoption atleast they'll have a better life.  I'm sure you aren't looking at them with loving eyes you are looking at them with hatred cause you don't want to be tied down with kids.  You were stupid to have children with a boyfriend and now your kids are suffering because of it.  Give them up so someone that can't have children will give them the world and more love then ever!

Answer 29

you know what Ill give you your props for having the balls to put this question on here and being so honest. because your going to hear a lot of bullshit. but i really dont know what to tell you. you ultimately make the decision. But they are 5 and they know who their mother is. Just stay strong in your decision. Good Luck to you!!

Answer 30

I think they would be better off with someone else.  It's good that you are considering their welfare ahead of your own.

Answer 31

If you never wanted them in the first place I feel very bad for them. I cannot imagine feeling that way towards my children. I think it would be better off it you didnt have them anymore so yes give them up, give them to someone who will LOVE them.