I'm thinking about starting an adoption support group in my area?

Question

So I have read from many people that support groups can be very rewarding to everyone involved with adoption. I do believe that this would be something that I would greatly benefit from. However, there are no such groups in my area. I am thinking about starting one, but I guess I feel unqualified. Weird, I know. Who better to talk about it than a person who is living it, but I have no idea where to start? What would we even talk about? Just share stories over tea and such. What do you all think?

Answer 1

Your adopted - I think you're very qualified!!!

You've lived it!!

I'd check out the Origins USA website - for ideas -

http://origins-usa.org/

A wealth of info can be found there - also I remember reading once that they were helping people start up support groups around the US - I think - check them out anyway.

Also check out their reading list -

http://origins-usa.org/Default.aspx?page...

And try to get hold of some either through your library or by purchasing copies. Or at least having this list handy to lead adoptees in the direction of books.

The group I joined was established well before I came along - although they had not met for a long time - I encouraged them to start up again - I needed them!!!! Now we have quite a few coming each get-together. The main leader behind the group has an amazing library herself of adoption-related books - and she lends them out often.

Here is also a list of adoptee blogs currently on the internet - a great source of support help -

http://www.adultadoptees.org/forum/index...

If you would like help in getting the word out in your area - drop by the online support group AAAFC -

http://www.adultadoptees.org/forum/index...

- and you can post info - or feel free to drop me a line - and I'll let them know.

Sharing stories over tea sounds like a great place to start.

I've not found the same support from any other people/area/therapists as I have found from other adoptees.

All the best.

Answer 2

It is not hard to start a group, in fact I have one in the works. You can contact me privately if you would like. I have some information you may find very valuable.

[e-mail]

Answer 3

I would love to have an adoption support group. You can talk about how you have tackled different situations like the whole process of adoption. (which anyone has experienced it must have a story, the adoption process is an emotional roller coaster but so worth the ride) The process can be overwhelming. Good luck with it. One book I read that was extremely help that would be full of topics was 20 things I wished my adoptive parents knew. It's very interesting.

Answer 4

i think that's a great idea. i recently spoke to an adoptee who met his birthmom and it was a roller-coaster ride for him emotionally. not because of her, but the whole dynamics of it all. sounds like both families are doing well and he was very kind to me, as i am a first mom.

initially after the adoption i was involved with first mother groups, they really need the support. they were lied and coerced into believing they were doing the "best thing" then when the adoption was over, all contact was cut off. i know of only 2 instances when they had contact for a few years at the most and then the same thing happened. it's not uncommon for adoptive parents, out of fear, to tell lies about the first moms. when they do that, they are telling the child, this too is who you are. any counselor will tell you that children who hear a parent bad mouth another parent will take that on as, that's what's wrong with them. it's a cruel thing to do. any adopted child that says my mom was... WHATEVER, is being abused emotionally. in a divorce case that grounds to have the child removed from the parent and placed with the other one. that's not love, that's spite, jealousy, and fear. usually it's false. not always, but they need to find out for themselves.

adoption in this country is barbaric and needs major reform. i hope that one day it can be banned all together.

there are some first moms who really don't want the baby and are fine with their decision. very rare, but in those very rare cases, the ones who are "happy" with the adoption... they are not normal and have serious mental issues. usually genetic. extremely rare.

you are not unqualified. by the mere fact that you've been a part of this makes you the perfect person to take this on.

first moms are hard to find because the pain is so horrific and they have learned to suffer in silence because they have found as they went out into the real world after the adoption, that people will rip them apart. they can be at a gathering where someone is an adoptee and hear the anger and disgust they feel towards their first moms for "abandoning" them. they have no clue as to what the first moms went through or how they were lied to. they have no clue as to how much they were loved and still are.

best wishes.

Answer 5

like kids of adoption or parents of adopted children??

Why not see if the market is out there....look at online groups and see who is from where; or if you have a big circle of friends. The only thing that would make me hesitate is that I have led groups before and I find that, after an initial interest, there is a long lull--where I do 99% of the work (food, scheduling, calling, celebrations, etc.) and only 2 people show up or none at all. I think it is a great idea, but make sure you are not wasting your time and money.....if there isn't a market in your area, there is definately an online market AND you don't have to spend nearly as much money or time travelling.....plus, if it takes off, you could always have a yearly/bi-yearly meet and greet all over the country......and, yes, you are most definately qualified!! good luck!!

Answer 6

You said "Who better to talk about it than a person who is living it"

I couldn't agree more.  There are far too many non-adopted people out there giving advice to adoptees on how they should think and feel! LOL

Perhaps Joe Soll would have some ideas - he has a successful support group in NY and an online chat support group too.  contact him at  http://www.adoptioncrossroads.org/

Good luck and thanks so much for having this idea

Answer 7

comparing stories and such would be the best thing i guess. i don't really have problem its just when you are on the outside of a family and there were some that were kept its frustrating because no matter how lucky i was i can never bring back the family feeling to me or them. and that is hard but i survive i am a survivor. i really dn't even know if i would attend such a thing being adopted.

Answer 8

Try meetup.com to help you get the word out.  Also put an ad on craigslist.com?

You're always welcome to come see up at

adultadoptees.org/forum