I'm thirstyy?? Please helpp : )?

Question

K, I have orange soda in my right hand, grape juice in my left hand. I'm right handed and i use my left hand to wipe my ***. There is a can of pepsi on the cement ground beside my new blackberry, which is also on the cement ground. There is a bottle of cream soda behind me on the plastic picnic table but it has already been opened. I drank from it not too long ago. I am balancing a tray of mountain dews on my head. In all the mountain dews, there are some 7ups in between. A crow is trying to claw the cans open, but it's not working. I am standing beside a lake. I like to swim. Behind the plastic picnic table is a soup kitchen. I bet there is chili, cream of mushroom soup, chunky beef stew in there. But I am thirsty, what should I do?

Answer 1

Put the orange soda down on the picnic table.  Then the grape soda down on the same picnic table.  Then remove the tray from your head, and put that on the picnic table.  Don't wipe your ***.  Pick up the pepsi from the ground and put it on the picnic table.  Feed the crow, or throw it into the lake.  Forget the soup kitchen for now.  Now you have another quandry-of all the cans and bottles of soda on the picnic table, which one would you like to drink?

Answer 2

eat the crow and drink whiskey

**edit**

you are a very talented person

Answer 3

put everything on the picnic table, go to the soup kitchen and get a huge a glass, then mix everything and drink it. and don't forget to wash your hands (especially your left hand) before you mix everything or drink it

Answer 4

well there doesnt seem like any drinks are close enough to u id say just drink your own pee itd be the easiest so u dont have to get up u know

Answer 5

Drink the orange soda. Because...

#1 ur right handed

#2 ur left hand is nasty

#3 if you move anything but ur arm the tray on ur head will fall (probably on ur new blackberry)