I'm too impatient with my daughter..my patience is very short..?

Question

i really need help to deal with my 7 yr old daughter..she's so nerve wrecking...god!...she does something every 5 mins to work my nerves..mommy my throat hurt,my stomach hurt,my finger hurt...ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh..... actually there is nothing wrong....we have mommy/daughter days where we spend quality time togther..and i'm always talking to her about school and what's going on..but that just isn't enough for her....then she do things to get trouble so i will fuss..should i give her to her dad to take care of her...?...b/c i fuss all day long...i do not spank her..or should i spank her behind..oh yeah i punish her too..that doesn't work either..

Answer 1

When you do need some alone time give her an activity she can do on her own, try setting up a kitchen timer and saying when this time is up then you can come be with me or we'll do something together, but explain to her the importance of you getting some time to get stuff done and how much you want to play with her when you are busy. Don't make a huge fuss out of everything. Sometimes Spanking is neccessary, she's a bit old, but take away other things she enjoys (TV, Toys, books, snacks, etc) to prove a point. You are the adult, act like it, and try to have as much patience, You remember what it was like when your mom yelled at you right? It sucks, so don't be overbearing on her.

Answer 2

i think if she is constantly saying 'oh my finger hurts' i would do things like

'oh lets have a look?'  

'goodness that looks fit to drop off doesn't it' (exaggerate something here if there isn't a problem to be seen)

then distract her with other activities that involve her doing stuff on her own for a bit

Answer 3

You definetly need a parenting class --she is a child--they do that!  You need to grow up!

Answer 4

My 7 y.o always has something that hurts lately as well.... Its an attention thing.

Pick a time each day and write it on a board. Tell her during that time she can not come to you unless there is a real emergency. That that is your "quiet time". Make sure you talk to her and do what you need to with her after school first. Then have your quiet time.

I make my quiet time an hour long. Ushually after dinner.

Answer 5

you punish her for saying her stomach hurts?

kids need attention -- not just on mother/daughter days -- but every day.  try giving her your undivided attention for an hour and then tell her it's time to play by herself for an hour.  Set a timer, so she knows.  And then go back to giving her attention at the end of it.  Consider having her friends over to play so she has somebody else to play with.  

She's not trying to make you upset.  She's trying to get your attention because she's barely old enough to tie shoelaces, and needs it.  Find yourself a support group and vent your frustrations there, but give your daughter what she needs.  She's still a little kid!

Also consider that kids can have sore throats and stomachaches!

Answer 6

Don't despair. Your daughter is at that age... When she's 14 you will wish that you'd get a little attention from her.

I assume that you are a single parent, and that makes it even harder to always having to be on your toes, but your daughter needs you right now and she shows it. Don't hand her over to her dad, she woud feel so deserted by her mom. The fact that she needs your attention does not mean though that she has a right to get on your nerves, and you should tell her that very clearly. I would not object to your spanking her bottom if she refuses to listen - but make sure that you tell her in advance what is a "spankable" offense, and to explain to her why she is to be punished before you do it. Oh, and don't spank her while you are still angry.

Best of luck!

Answer 7

If you abuse your child (spank her or any other kind of abuse) you simply reinforce and model violence and she will take a slippery slope.  You need to work on yourself and learning to take your own time out, it is OK to need a moment when you are losing it. You need to learn to pick up on her verbal and nonverbal cues.

Answer 8

right. you realize she does this because it gets you all riled up? the way you talk about this stuff, i'm wondering who the child is, here. sorry if this sounds harsh, but it sounds like you need to get a handle on being a mom, or maybe she should go to her dad. of course, i know nothing about him. judging from your intelligence level, i'm not sure you picked a winner to father her. grow up. kids try to test your patience. that's just the way things are.

Answer 9

Your fussing is the only attention she knows how to get.  If you stop fussing, she'll stop whining.

If she comes to you saying something "hurts", quickly assure yourself that there is nothing really wrong and then tell her "no blood, its fine, go play".   Don't elaborate, use as few words as possible and turn your attention right back to what you were doing.  Then, when she is playing nicely on her own, make a point to go over and tell her what a good girl she is being and how grown up she is by being so independent and not needing your attention all the time.

Praise good behavior and don't reinforce the bad.

Answer 10

Seven year olds do need a lot of attention,  They are very active especially on school days, They have to be quiet and sit still all day long.  When they get home, they release that energy.   My son is 9, and it takes him a good hour before he stops bouncing off the walls after school.  And he needs constant attention it is every 5 minutes he is screaming mom or coming up to me and sitting on my lap or hugging on me or wanting help with something it is called parenting.

That is how it works.

If she is doing things to get into trouble, she is doing it to get your attention to a kid attention is attention good or bad doesn't matter.  If you are not giving her good attention she is going to make you give her bad attention.

You need to find ways to encourage good attention.  like help her with her homework,  let her set the table while you are cooking dinner.  let her mate up socks while you are doing laundry.  Read a book together before bed.  Simply asking her how school was is not enough attention.  

Color with her in a coloring book,  draw pictures with her learn to like your daughter.  I am sure you are just stressed out I am assuming you are a single mom you have to work and your not getting enough rest and you just are overdwhelmed.  

You don't really go into to much detail so I can't give you specific advice,  but really try to give her more positive attention that should cut down on the negative attention.

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Answer 11

try and take deep breaths, you said you don't spank and that's good, don't start. i wouldn't just give her to her dad, that would probably make things worse. put yourself in her position, why does she want so much attention. ask her what she's feeling when she acts like that and maybe you will get to the root of the problem. make sure you find out if she's really sick when she does that so she can get medical attention if needed.

Answer 12

I know what you mean, being a parent is soooooo hard.  I try to explain to my six year old that I need a couple of minutes to myself when she does what you describe.  I also warned my daughter that saying that she's in pain when she isn't is lying.  I told her that certain pains can mean serious health problems and if she keeps complaining about problems she's going to have to get them checked by the doctor.  After take a couple of minutes to yourself just realize that she wants your attention.  I don't fuss at all when my daughter gets in trouble.  I put her right in the corner and then we spend a minute talking about what she did wrong.  Just take a deep breath.