I'm upset because my brother is making me eat. I'm scared of gaining weight.

Question

I know loosing weight is all about having control and being able to not give in to temptation, but i just can't bring myself to sat no to my brother.

Not because i'm scared of him, but because i don't want to upset him. He doesn't deserve that. He's girlfriend's pregnant and he's really happy at the moment and i like seeing him happy - i can't be the one to upset him.

The thing is, everyone tells me i'm underweight, but i can't see it. I honestly think i'm fat and repulsive. Although, with a B.M.I of around 16, i don't see how that's possible.

Anyway, that's not the point.

My question is, what can i do to make feel less guilty after eating ?

Sometimes it gets to the point where i feel like crying !

Answer 1

You need help sweetheart, I know it doesn't seem like it at the moment, but you're ill, very very ill, and if you don't get help you could eventually die. Your brother has obviously realised this and is trying to help, he's not doing it to be mean, he's not doing it to make you feel guilty, he's doing it because your body needs food.

Eating sensibly won't make you fat, over-eating the wrong type of food and a bad lifestyle will make you fat.

I know how you feel and it's not easy, I got to a point where I would have died if the doctors hadn't drip-fed me the nutrients I needed everyday, but I got better and I'm a healthy 7 1/2 stone now and working on gaining another stone at least at the moment.

A bmi of 16 is underweight, and whilst you think you're fat and repulsive, everyone I can guarantee will see a skinny, unhealthy gaunt looking scared little girl.

I know it feels like the only thing you can control is eating and weight loss, but you have to think about why you want to control it in the first place, what's going on in your life that you have no control over that you want some control over?

For me, it was my dad walking out when I was two and my mum not letting him contact me, I used to cry myself to sleep and ask my mum what was wrong with me because daddy didn't want to see me and would prefer to be with his other perfect family instead. I got to the point when I thought it was because I was fat, and with ballet on top of that, the eating stopped and the weight fell off. I hated denying myself food, but I thought if I was ever going to see my dad again I needed to be thinner.

Then my fiance and Mehgan came along, and although every moment I was pregnant with Mehgan was h**l because I felt I was fat, my fiance helped me through it, I went and saw a new psychologist and have never looked back. I feel so much happier and healthier within myself, and I can run around after Mehgan now without worrying that one of my bones is going to break.

There are so many health risks, osteoarthritis, ruined teeth, unhealthy hair, unhealthy nails, organs shutting down from lack of nutrients, DEATH. It's not worth it.

Here are some links to other questions about ED's where I got best answer and/or answered, some might be a bit samey, but the advice is the same, GET HELP.

If you only click one link, make it the first, and read the story and take it on board, eating disorders aren't fun, they are living h**l and once you're sucked in, there's no way out, they're there for life unless you fight back.

http://uk.answers.yahoo.com/question/ind...

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Answer 2

I'd like to say two main things to you - I'm not sure what your weight is, but to give you a rough idea of healthy weight, the ideal BMI for a female who's between 8 and 9 stone (about 112 - 125 pounds) is around 24 - 28. A BMI of 16 does not sound like it belongs to someone who's over weight. Your eating disorder is preventing you from believing anyone who tells you you're under weight; your opinion of yourself won't change over night - you really do need to get some professional support, and do make continue to seek support from those closest to you.

The second thing I'd like to say, is what a lovely, wonderful brother you have...you need to continue listening to him, it sounds like he'll give you some of the support you need to get through this.

I finally recovered from a long battle with Anorexia and Bulimia when I was in my late 20's. Thankfully, I'm alive, well and happy now, but I have been left with brittle bones and infertility as a result of what I put my body through.

When I was at my worst, my hair started to fall out, my teeth started to wear away, I got a fine layer of hair all over my body (apparently this was a typical reaction to keep warm), I couldn't walk, and I had a nervous break down and ending up in hospital on New Years Eve a few years ago.

It's not a pleasant road to go down, I'd strongly urge you to seek the support you need now.

It's worth remembering that it's impossible to run a car with no petrol or diesel - your body is the same, if you don't give it fuel, it will stop.

Do take care and all the best.    

Answer 3

You can't because you have to eat eventually. Well if you don't eat your metabolism slows down and that will make you gain weight. If you lose weight from not eating you will have to eat eventually and you will gain weight. Here's what you should do. Eat in small portions (like 5 times or as many times as you are hungry) throughout the day that will keep you from gaining weight and will make your metabolism faster ...make sure you eat enough. You obviously have an eating disorder (if you are depriving yourself of food when hungry) or distorted body image that's leading to an eating disorder. Either way you need to get some help before you mess your body up really bad. Damage can't be undone...

Answer 4

It's obvious that your brother cares about you, and if you are told that you are underweight, and you feel guilty after eating, it sounds like you have an eating disorder of some type. People see themselves differently than others do, and we are all more critical of ourselves than anyone else.

I went through the same thing for years, and actually still do to a certain extent. But I have realized that you have to eat. Food is to your body, what  gasoline is to a car. If you don't overeat, and do some  exercising,  you will be way better off than not eating or not eating enough. Eating small portions of food to where you don't get full is a good thing. You can eat six small meals a day. The key is not to eat until you feel full. Eat slowly. It takes your brain twenty minutes to let your stomach know that it is full.

That is why people come away from the table and are uncomfortably full, they didn't know when they had actually had enough to eat...they didn't take the time to see.

As I said before, we all see ourselves in a different light than everyone else. Please don't let yourself become unhealthy for fear of gaining weight. Hey, food is one of the things that is a pleasure in life, and you only have one life...enjoy it!

Best Wishes To You

Answer 5

The right answer is to tell you to get therapy and you should. Seems pretty clear you have an eating disorder and huge self image issues.

But you didn't ask if you should get therapy.

So try focusing your obsessive energy on the food you eat rather then your weight. Replace this obsession with your weight with an obsession that has healthy consequences.

Do some research find foods that offer more then average heath benefits. http://www.whfoods.com/foodstoc.php

Make a menu for an entire week, for example mix and match foods that have been proven to reduce the risk of cancer, with a food that acts as an anti oxidant and a food or herb that is shown to increase brain function.  

A meal made with tofu, garlic and onions each ingredient is higher is some qualities then many other choices.

Create power meals.

Obsess about being the queen of getting the most benefit from what you eat. Rather then the calories and your body.

Also never eat in one sitting enough that you feel full. Have several small meals a day instead.

Answer 6

OK what I think is that at your age, I don't thinkyou should really look at your weight, but its your decision. I think to make yourself less guilty you should do is that, when your brother gives you something to eat you should at less eat half of it and say. That your full and you really would like him to have some, and he would probably fguiltylity if he doesn't take it.

Answer 7

Tell yourself that you cannot live with out food, and try for a balanced diet, such as leafy green and other helthy products. Seek help too. There is no shame in admitting you have an eating disorder. Take care of it now before it gets really out of hand. I had a friend who died because of an eating disorder. With out nutrition, you can't grow properly, and you'll have less energy. With enough food, you will feel good, have energy, and be able to do more things.  Please seek help.

Answer 8

I think the best thing to do is to get some counseling from a professional.

If your BMI is 16 and you are having trouble eating, feel guilty about it, think you're fat when you're obviously not, etc. then I think you are suffering from some type of eating disorder probably anorexia. Its really hard to change that kind of thinking on your own so you should talk to your parents/brother, or another adult like a school counselor or someone about getting some help.

That type of thing really messes with the way you think, and from my experience its never really just about your weight- its related to the way you think and feel about yourself overall. Trying hard to eat and feel better about it just will not work for everyone since thats just dealing with symptoms, not the actual cause of your eating disorder.  

Answer 9

you need to seek professional help so you can get the help and support that is needed before it goes to far and theres no point of return, good luck

Answer 10

it used to be the same with me,

just tell yourself its ok.

nothing will happen, just eat it and enjoy it

and maybe if you feel that way, start out walking in front of the tv for half an hour while watching to help make you feel less guilty.

and to tell you the truth, there are so many plusses to doing so. i used to be 84 pounds, and i stopped weighing myself. i told myself its ok to be who i am, and its ok to be healthy and look like myself. i do run on my treadmill every once in a while but i eat whenever im hungry. not in a timed way. now, to be satasfied all the time, you will be healthy and full. now im 15 and i beleive one hundered 2 pounds and good luck.