I'm very confused about myself and why I think this way/do these things?

Question

Sometimes I get very frustrated and confused with my personality. I'm 22, finished university, and currently in grad school. I'm a very book goal and work oriented person. I always need to be doing something, but at the same time, I am always stressed by something. I find it very hard to let go, party, etc. I'm not sure if it's just because I would prefer to sit and read a book, but alot of times I can't go out for really good reasons (e.g. studying for an important exam, etc etc). I'm not a very quick learner, so I find that I have to study harder than most of my friends, but in the end I do end up doing very well... it's just that I have to put the extra work in and have to make alot of sacrifices.

I have never been on a date and lately I've stopped caring about my appearance as much as I used to. I wear clean, nice professional clothing, but nothing more than that. Since I've never been liked by a guy I'm wondering if my personality is... well.. not attractive. I'm not sure what to do about it. I find that when I do go out, I end up feel much worse than if I didn't go out (ie. guilty, feel extreamly behind in my work etc.)

What do you think is going on here?

Answer 1

I think you need to just keep thought with your career. guys and all that, they are so unimportant and really, your better off without!! I think its amazing how young and smart you are. good luck on that and i know you'll go far. other than that, if you want to make certain changes within yourself, try a new look and get out of the books sometimes and go on a trip or give yourself some free time. not going to clubs or anything, but just doing fun things. seems like you put alot into studying and nothing else. true your gonna be successful, but try to have fun.

Answer 2

i understand being swamped by school and dealing with all the stress is difficult.  i've been there!  

so here is what i understand.  you wear the clothes you think will help you out but you do not do much more than that.  what i know about men is that they are very visual creatures.  it's just the reality of it all.  but, what i also know is that they will not stay with the hottest girl in the world if she has a horrible personality, a dull personality, or some type of negative personality.  they might have s*x with them but they won't stay in a relationship with them.  

so basically, if you are hoping for a little bit of male attention, a fling, a relationship, whichever, try going beyond the clothing first of all.  try doing your hair, putting on some make-up, and really just enjoying your time at whatever social occasion you are at.  because if you aren't enjoying yourself because too much is on your mind, then you aren't very entertaining.  you get my drift??  people go out to either meet someone or be entertained.  

if you don't really know how to fix your hair or are not good with make-up, try watching WHAT NOT TO WEAR on TLC (the learning channel).  they have a lot of great tips!!  =)  good luck!!