I'm very dependent..?

Question

My spouse of a 13 months is going on holiday for two weeks. She only let me know two days ago, and i've suddenly realized that my entire life revolves around her. It sounds really silly but it feels like i'm having a panic attack everytime I think of her being away for that long, and I don't know why. She hasn't been away this long before. When I found out I was really upset and disappointed, but she just waved it off. Sometimes she can be really mean and uninterested, and she has a really short temper too. I love her so much, but we do have our problems. I can't talk to her though because she always jumps to conclusions and stuff. I wish she was there and acted like she was interested. Mostly, I want to learn how to rely less on her and to actually have a life of my own. I have hobbies and other friends it's just that I put her first all of the time.

How do you think I can rely less on her, without saying things like 'get a hobby' or 'go out with your friends', because it's all emotional and mental rather than physical attachment?

Answer 1

read the book same s*x and in the city.

Answer 2

I actually just recently finished an absolutely amazing book on the topic of relationship addiction called Women Who Love Too Much. It talks about why women get into co-dependent relationships, how to recognize our dependency, how to stop controlling and managing the people we are dependent on, and a lot more. To give a summary, it recommends things like focusing on one's own feelings when one has the urge to constantly reach out for someone else's validation. It emphasizes becoming your own person with your own interests separate from your partners. When you can be an independent person, you will be happier and even more attractive to your significant other. When you're in a co-dependent relationship, so much time and energy is put into caring for them, worrying about them, and trying to keep them close. The best solution is to use that time to be selfish and focus on your own goals, ambitions, and even spirituality. I wish you the best of luck.

Answer 3

She's not taking you with her?  Maybe you do have reason to be insecure.

The only way to be more independent is to be more independent.  Get out of the home and do stuff on your own, with co-workers, with friends.  You can live, survive, and thrive without someone else.  It might SUCK, but you can do it.

Answer 4

Well I am very attached to my bf and I know that when he starts back to college again that I will be so bored and lonely because I have already graduated. It will suck, but time will force you to get use to it, and then it will be okay. Maybe you can plan a romantic date or present for her upon her return from the trip.

Answer 5

do u and let her do her take time away from her and be ur own person

Answer 6

getting a hobby will help  you get to know yourself more thus you will be able to rely on yourself and not be so dependant