I'm white and when a black guy tries to pick me up and I say no he always asks "Is it because I'm black?" Why?

Question

It's so ridiculous. It has nothing to do with skin color but I'm not attracted to the type of guys who talk slang and think they're so cool because they aren't intelligent. Those are the type of gangster guys who try to pick me up. Whether black, white, yellow, any guy who acts like that is not the least bit attractive. Why do they always have to ask if it's because they're black? Anyone know why?

Answer 1

is it cuz they're black? lol, white guys ask me the same thing..... maybe, just maybe MEN always want a reason besides, you're not attracted to them?

Answer 2

To the above answerer-

Blacks? usually racists say "blacks." Blacks,whites ....we dont really use those terms in this day.lol

Anyway.Im a mixed female so I have no bias.Probably because its still a touchy situation.You never know who is racist and not.By the way black people are just as racists as white people-sometimes more.

Its a complex some people have.Its stupid and it sounds stupid when they say stuff like that.I wonder why they think they are sooo cool that it couldnt be the idiot stuff that comes out their mouths that turns chicks off.

Do exactly what you are doing.Its not your problem what other people think.Im so over the whites against blacks thing, but some people arent! Its an ignorant thing not a racist thing.

Answer 3

So are you saying that every African American guy whose shown interest in you has always approached you with this "gangster" mentality?  If so, the first thing I'd say is maybe you should be aware of your surroundings a bit more.  Particularly if you're encountering men with such questionable speech.  

To answer your question, the reason why some of these men may ask you that is because contrary to what some may think, racism is still very much alive and well.  There are many people who find it completely offensive when members of different races show them any type of affection or interest.  Some may ask because they simply do not want to impose on you any unwanted advances, others may ask because they just want a reason to act ridiculous.  

I wish you the best of luck with love, and I truly hope that you find what it is that you're looking for.  

Answer 4

because its a self conscious reason, i mean, if i get rejected, id wonder if its because of who i am or is it my looks or what. so yea

Answer 5

This has happened to me also.

Believe me nothing you can say to some of these guys (both black and white) is a good enough answer. The fact that you may be dating a guy, engaged or already married... you're still a racist.

Some black guys think because they are turned down by a white girl that she is racist. And they throw down the race card. They love trying to put us on a guilt trip and have to explain ourselves. Don't fall for any of that c**p.

I've had a couple say to me, "You won't go out with me because I'm black." That's the kind of attitude that turns me off. Especially the ones that come on like Mr. Macho and his homey sidekick with their pants hanging down around their knees.

To tell you the truth I wonder why an A-A girl would date a guy who walks around all day having to hold his pants up with one hand and his underwear showing!

And here's another thing one said to me when I asked why he didn't ask out an African-American girl..."Black girls are too bitchy. White girls ain't." And he said it with an attitude.

It doesn't take much to read between the lines on that one. Black girls won't put up with the c**p he's putting down.

Stand by your principals, whatever they might be.

Answer 6

Actually, I find someone asking if you won't go out with them because of their skin color a racist question on their part, no matter  the color of the people involved.

When it comes to personal preference, dating and sexuality I feel this is a very personal thing that is no one else's business and certainly it should be out of bounds in terms of racial politics.  

They are more than likely asking you after you turn down going out with them because they have a preconception and are judging you based on your skin color, which is racist thinking.  

There is also the strong possibility they are trying to make you feel guilty and put you on the defensive so as to manipulate them into giving them what they want.

Personally, I have black friends of both sexes but I wouldn't date my black male friends (when I was single) because I didn't find them physically attractive.  I also do not find women attractive and would not date one either.  This in my mind is a personal preference and does not make me either racist or homophobic.  

Answer 7

They automatically assume if you are uninterested it is because of color. Usually, its because they are so full of themselves, they can't take rejection, and this is their lame way of adverting it.  

Answer 8

He just wants to continue the conversation. Just respond "Thats funny now why would you ask?"Then you will have your answer.

Answer 9

bcuz he's trying to turn things into a joke

i hate it when guys do that

pay no attention to them

bcuz if he did get you that night, he would go around telling his friends how easy you were

there are guys of every race there are jerks, ya know?

Answer 10

they always do that!

i hate it!

Answer 11

it's probably a bias since whites used to have black slaves..

I don't know though. Tell him straight up what you told us, "I don't like slang." when u reject them so they won't be able to say that.  

Answer 12

Because anxiety towards interracial dating still exists in this society, any guy of a different race from you would ask that when you turn down his advances.  Some of those guys you mentioned may have been rejected by other white girls mainly because they were black.  It makes a difference what the reason for the rejection is to the guy, because if it is about some other quality in him, he can try to change it.  However, it the rejection was because he was black, he knows that nothing will change your mind about him.

Answer 13

They ask that because they think you are being racist and you don't like them for their skin complexion. Never go out with any man that uses slang and if you don't like how they look no matter what color.

Answer 14

Because, we try to make you girls feel guilty for not accepting us lol :D

Answer 15

because it seems like thats the reason.. bc they r blk.. u r judging them without even getting to know them... just bc they approach u in a manner that most guys do bc they feel they need a pick up line or something, that does not mean they r not intelligent... but basically they r askin 'is it bc they r blk' is bc they know u r going by stereotypes which is influencing u to reject each one of them...

Answer 16

I'm thinking the way you act.

Answer 17

well, maybe they think white people don't like black people...and i can kind of understand their situation...lol

just tell them that it has nothing to do with their color

Answer 18

sad to say that their are some blacks out there that have inferiority complexes SOME FEEL AS IF THEY  REALLY ARE  INFERIOR even when they really aren't. some blacks  are taught ( because of history mind you) that as far as whites are concerned they will always see you as a ******. and [ The "white man" isn't going to see you as anything but a ******] a lot of blacks are taught by other well meaning blacks that even if the white man is smiling in your face and nice to you, on the inside their calling you a ****** anyway ( all because of what whites have done in the past) that in turn triggers the inferiority complex and the seeing yourself as a victim to the white man and any rejection that they receive by the white man is because their black and the white man is never to be trusted

Answer 19

Trying to make you feel as though you are guilty of slighting them. It is an old ploy . You seem like a pretty bright girl, stay the course.

Answer 20

He's just trying to make you feel guilty so you'll give in and go out with him.

He sounds like a jerk.  Stick to your guns.  No, you are not racist.

Answer 21

It's probably cause you are racist.