I'm worried about losing my mother?

Question

Ok my mother has not been felling the best now about a year or so although she is progressing and one night i had a dream about her that she died and that really got me really upset and made me cry now i just though about it again and im in tears. I used to be very close to my mum but since she got sick i now distance from her and im always in argument with her. Please help

Answer 1

You need to stop arguing with her.  Deep down inside you are angry with her that she is ill.  Because of that, you are subconsciously trying to change your close relationship with her in order to protect yourself from being hurt.  The problem with that is that when the time comes for your mother to leave this earth, you are going to wish you had spent more time and told her how much you loved her instead of making her miserable and worried about you.  Besides, the stress will make her weaker and less able to fight off her illness.

When my parents died, my sister was like that, and she still regrets it until today.  My brother and I remained close and told them how we felt, so we did not feel guilt or remorse for not making the best of the time we had with them.  

Try it.  I promise you will not regret it.

Answer 2

give in to her and be there for her when ya can...the last thing ya want is to s***w up in school...ya mums gonna be fine,as long as she gets the proper treatment and all,don't know much bout trigeminal neuralgia though but i bet it can be cured...mums tend to yap alot when they hit the 50s its a norm really..all will be good dude,god will make things better...just have faith my friend...

Answer 3

It's always hard when we have to watch our parents suffer from an illness or a disease. Especially when young. The best thing you can do to help your mom is to do some research and help yourself understand better what she is going through, imagine yourself in her situation. There are many resources out there to help you understand Trigeminal Neuralgia, which effects roughly 150 million people per year.  There is also support groups. Remember you are not alone. I do not, personally, know anyone with this condition,  but I have dealt plenty with my own parents and their illnesses. First, be supportive of your mom. Be there for her. She may be moody, unpredictable at times and sad. Look at it from her perspective. She is hurting and on top of that suffering due to dealing with an argumentive son, which I am sure (from a mom's point of view) is breaking her heart. The more you learn about the subject, the more supportive you can be for her. Be strong. You reaching out for answers is an obvious sign that you care. I wish you and your mom the best. Good luck my friend.  

Answer 4

Trigeminal Neuralgia is very painful, but it's not life-threatenng, so if that's the only medical problem that your Mum has, then you don't need to worry about her dying - she's not very old either so she's likely to be around for a long time yet :)

Having a condition like TN though will make life hard for her to cope with and she needs your support now. You obviously love her to bits and letting her know how much you love her will help her enormously.

Don't distance yourself, give her a big hug and say sorry for arguing with her. Explain how you feel and that her illness worries and upsets you and I'm sure that she'll understand.

Ask her what you can do to help out - it doesn't matter if you're not in good shape or that you have school committments, there will still be a lot that you CAN do and whatever you don't know how to do, you can learn :)

Illness in someone we love is always scary - but together you and your Mum can overcome a lot of the problems you have now.

You sound like a great son...loving and caring, and I'm sure your Mum loves you as much as you love her...so talk to her ;)

Answer 5

You need to stop arguing with her and help what little you can. I lost my mother and don't do anything now that you will regret later . You are sad because she is failing in her health problems , but don't add more problems to her. Try to get closer to her like before. Remember that once she is gone you can't go back and fix things. Love her now.  

Answer 6

Ok.....always keep in mind that she is sick, but u r not! So u have to have patience if she is involved in any argument with u! U should be understanding now. It seems u feel helpless about ur mom's illness and do not find any way to take her out of the illness, that's ok....if u can't help her physically then why don't u help her mentally??! Don't argue with her for simple issues.

And...about that dream, that is not a big thing to think about, as u r tensed about her health so u dreamed that. Forget it!

Answer 7

I dont know why your aside from your mom. I dont know. If its college then its always an option, you can always take your time. Hope you  put those argument away,  you are only sad when you began to feel someone you lose, but when they're fully healthy your acting as usually. I hope you support her and spend more time with her all you can. Good luck