I'm worried about my fiance's brain I think he's damaged it

Question

it's going on for some time now some unusual behaviour, he has a intellectual disability (a minor form of autism I've come to learn) we had an arguement a few weeks ago and he just stopped midway through talking sat on the floor and was non responsive for 5-10 minutes, got up and then couldn't remember a thing of what was going on, we had another disagreement last night for no reason he started banging his head against the wall and again sat non responsive for some time and once again didn't know what was going on when he did snap to his senses, he also consumes a lot of alcohol, sometimes he will not remember whole days almost his memory is very patchy, like I mean he can barely remember anything, last night we agreed he'd stop drinking or the relationship is over, this morning he has no recollection of that or any other negotiations or agreements we come up with when we fight, we always fight about the same issues and have been for the last 6-8 months because he never remembers! I'm scared, worried and concerned about him, about myself and the relationship, I don't know what to do, who to turn to, what to say to him about the issue, I need help, he won't get help for his drinking either, but his memory problems and unusual behaviours get worse every time.

Answer 1

Well on the surface it sounds like he needs to go to the doctor. If he is resisting this advice and refuses treatment then I would think very carefully about each and every time he's 'lost his memory'. Is it only after you fight and come up with resolutions or compromises? If so then it sounds like he's using the memory problem as a way to get out of things he's agreed to. He isn't willing to compromise and is selfishly pretending he doesn't remember.

If you genuinely believe he is sick then he definitely needs to go to the doctor and get some treatment.

Either way you shouldn't progress in a relationship with this guy until you've worked out the reasons behind this 'memory problem'.

Answer 2

he needs to see a doctor. and sadly, you need to think about whether or not this is the kind of life you want for yourself. best wishes to you..hope things work out.  

Answer 3

Seems to me that his problem only exist when there's a pressure in the surroundings which increase brain work and I would think that is controllable in some ways.

Please talk to him nicely, when you want to deal with stuff to him, i think it is the best of all for you to be very calm and non-reactive to him (more you react, more he stress and he'll do the lockdown mode again).

He also needs to trust someone on what is going on inside his head, so he can let it out and by letting it out, i mean, in a friendly sensible explainable way of communication, not WW3! Coz what he got inside could cause him his whole life from drinking. So its hard to take out the drinking habit if you cant communicate inside him. You and him need to work together to have a good relationship and for me you seem fed-up, please dont, he needs someone. One Big tip is to not react to him and dont put any effort on fixing him coz that could cause you stress, so just talk to him without any thoughts involve, without history involve, that natural/spiritual way, wouldnt give him alot of pressure.

Diet:

He need to stop that drinking habit and eat descent food. I used to take a memory tablet myself which is very reliable and helpful, it got me through rough times myself, from high level thought involve in job + relationship in same time it really help me.

It is called , 'Memory 3000' made by The Natural Product, chemist doesnt have it, only in Natural/Health food store coz its herbal medicine. If you're in AUS, this cost about 30 bucks for 30 tablets. Its not for depression or anxiety. its for Concentration, Alertness, memory is a big part of it and learning process and brain stregth increase. But he gota drink heaps of water with this capsulr or else his pee will be a bit orange (means his dehydrated).

I really hope this helps your relationship, i lost mine due to arguement myself and had a breakdown also, but i dont freeze myself, however i shake and if a partner of me  yells, i yell back highly loud to make everything stop. I just want it to stop but my ex-partner was very very bossy and we always misunderstand each other coz of it.

Note:

That capsule could make him realise whats going on too so to speak but you gota to be ready to accept whatever happens to not to react and start an arguement.

Good luck for you, him and your relationship. :)

Hope this helps for people with rough road in relationships.

-KR

(No point going to the doctor/therapist if you havent given it a real effort yourself)

Answer 4

I suggest your fiance needs to see his doctor.

I would put off the marriage for now until you've established exactly what is going on with his brain. He may be sent to the hospital for a CAT scan to see if there is some sort of abnormality in his brain. It could be the onset of something more serious to come in which case you may have to rethink your ideas about marrying this person.

Answer 5

He not only has memory problems but alcohol problems. If I were you, I would run from this relationship because there is nothing you can do to fix him.