I'm worried about my pot-smoking son. Help!?

Question

My son is 18. I know a little pot smoking is part of his age. (I did it myself but stopped 20 years ago). He just graduated H.S. where he was extremely popular and a very good student. He's heading off to college in two weeks and he's been smoking more than once a day and has NO motivation for doing anything. (Don't ask me how I know about his smoking). I know he's a little blue about all his friends heading in different directions, but he's not depressed. Any suggestions? I'm going to have a talk with him tomorrow, but I expect he'll tell me "It's no big deal." If you are a teen and something your parents said helped you, I'd like to hear that.

Answer 1

"(Don't ask me how I know about his smoking)."

No, that's EXACTLY what someone needs to ask you.  How DO you know?

Smart money says he's doing it in your house and you're letting him.  And, ta-da!  There's the problem.

Answer 2

well...theirs kinda nothing YOU can do. but really smoking pot isnt a big deal like you said he would say haha. beleave meh. its way better than doing cocain or something. just let him be. o and by the way is he hot.? haha jk.

Answer 3

im serz slap him upside the head for fkn up his life

and if that dosn't work try a kill to the balls or a punch in the face

Answer 4

well..it sounds like your worried about his performance in school. so that is what you should talk to him about. you should tell him about your experiences... he is adult now, he can handle it. let him know what to expect in college, and that their will be so many more distractions there. let him know that you want him to have fun but do well also. then keep a eye on him. ask to see his grades before the semester ends. reward with more spending money or buying food for him. every good grade he shows you, he gets you to help with laundry or whatever. he is a adult who still needs you...use it for encouragement.  

Answer 5

well when you bust him for it send me his stash

Answer 6

i beg to differ that pot smoking is part of his age. He's a pot smoker because you let him be. I think he has serious issues and if you don't help him it'll get worse in college.

Answer 7

Well, I'm not a teen, but work as a therapist in addictions counseling.

I can give you the standard "Marijuana is agateway drug" talk.

I can tell you how harmless it is compared to something like, say, heroin.

People are different, react differently to situations like this. The only thing I can say (from what you typed) is that he seems depressed and that's something that needs to be touched on.

Ethically, I cannot condone any drug use, but there is always.. ALWAYS an underlying problem for people's useage. His seems to be depression.

I would take that approach.

Now, his lack of motivation is because of the pot, he needs to understand that this is a critical time for him. University is important, and tell him so... in a kind way. I'm sure h understands this though because of his being a good student. Not to worry... just concerning, see?

It seems to me that you're a hip mother who understands her son, and that's great... just talk to him, be sincere, listen and I'm sure it will work itself out.

Best of luck to you and your son.

Answer 8

Sorry, but 18 is adult. It's his life now; you don't get to run it anymore. My parents only alienated me by alluding to my "evil" cannabis usage. Since you did it too, you have no room to speak.  

Answer 9

Switch his joints with cigs

Answer 10

Tell him about the motivation because he can probably tell better than you can that hes become unmotivated to do anything else..tell him that its not the pot your worried about (because its really not that hamful and will be his first defense) but the very hamful things it can do to his life, like the un-motivation or the law and tell him that if he's gonna do it not to let it take over his life or spill into any other areas of his life. Its ultimately his decision whether or not to smoke but controlling it is key.

Answer 11

threaten to drug test him.. and actually do it until he does something worthwhile and you can tell he's back to the old him. i'm that age, and i have the option to smoke about 20 times a day and i rarely take up the offer, i enjoy doing it but on occassion. just for that reason, it kills your motivation

Answer 12

personally i don't see the problem with weed if you go into crack you're screwed up but weed is okay it heightens the perception of both sides of the brain, pumps more blood into the entire brain causing clearer and broader thinking, more blood is pumped into the heart making it stronger, prevents cancer, all in all it is good ****. I don't know why it's illegal in the U.S. but countries all over the world get it, there is a difference between just temporarily experiencing it once or twice a day and telling a cop that you don't smoke weed when you forgot you had a joint tucked in your ear just make sure his dealer isn't throwing in a little crack with it

Answer 13

18 is still 18, but try getting him to look at some really successful people as a way to motivate him to work harder.

Answer 14

Get to the root of the problem. If he is sad about his friends leaving reassure him that he'll meet new people at school. Don't scream about the pot, get to the underlying problem. If he has no motivation, plan things you can do with him, grandparents or dad too. Just be supportive!  

Answer 15

Just chill obv if you stopped chances are he will too, no?

Answer 16

Have you considered telling him that you did use it? If you have object lessons from your own youth -- kids who lost their motivation like he has and floundered in school, maybe friends who kept smoking it and have never gone anywhere -- he may be more willling to listen if he doesn't think you're being the overprotective adult. I've always found that kids are eager for honest information. What they can't stand is hysteria, "this is your brain on drugs" exaggeration, ignorance, bossiness, overprotectiveness, and "you're too young to do this." Which is why when a kid asks about pot here, I always try to give the real pros and cons, and to mention my own youthful drug use. As like as not when they see that I'm being honest about some of the horrible things I've seen they say "Thanks, I understand now."