I'm worried my cat is staying out too late at night- what should I do?

Question

Casper is a 12-year old moggie with a friendly disposition; he is, I have heard, a sort around the ladies and certainly seems popular.

Recently he has got back into contact with a couple of his old Army comrades from his old Regiment, the 12th Cat Hussars; they've started going down the Guards Club of an evening and I think he might be starting to drink again- last time it nearly ruined him and he got into tremendous debt. I wouldn't mind so much but he does get aggressive after a snifter and once demanded that I lend him my smoking jacket so that he would not look out of place in the Club drawing room. I haven't seen it since.

He also 'borrows' my car to take his fellow old soldiers out and I'm worried he drink-drives. He is only on a provisional license and has only got a moped himself, so I don't know how confident he is behind the wheel. The car always reeks of pipe smoke when I get it back, too.

I've had a word with the gentleman on the Club door and he informs me Casper (or Major C. Hessingly-Smythe, as he is known there) is a very popular character who enjoys reciting classical poetry to the assembled gentlemen. I don't want to ruin his fun or tar his image, but I must get my views across to him. How should I go about this?

Answer 1

Oh! I thought Ole Casper lived on his own. You can't ruin his fun now, I think he's earned the right. He is 12 after all. He recites some great poems of Hardy.You should come down sometime and have a listen.

Answer 2

I think you enjoy reciting classical fiction.

Answer 3

Have his nuts cut off, hide your car keys, and then go out and get a life you sad git

Answer 4

Just make sure you have enough money set aside for bail.

Answer 5

GET A DOG THEY ARE MUCH BETTER PETS

Answer 6

If he doesnt come home in  time for his meals take it to the club and plant it on the table .This will show him up and he stop thinking he^s the cats whiskers.

Answer 7

your cat is in love

Answer 8

My believe is that the Major has been conferring with kith and kin to discuss such matters (as wouldnt be bequothed to his human fellows), regarding suchness as the revelevant prices in stocks and shares in the Fisheries Ministry and how the market is inundated with such an inferior quality of imported goods namely the salmon and tuna industry. These are very important matters that have to be aired only when us human counterparts are either asleep or have other business to attend to. These matters can only be discussed by the comradeship of brothers in paws from the 12th Cat Hussars and the Legion of Flicktails, not only because they have served time for honour and proudness, but they have fought whisker and claw , to be dis-owned by the governments of our land and left upon the dry-food mountain of society. They have re-established a union among themselves and a council to spread the teachings of their great inspirational teacher of long past, the great Siamese Cat-fucious, who they served under in the Burman War and  The Tabby Terror Term, by leading examples of prose and poems of eloquence and caviar dreams........ Let him be and dont say anything too misdemeanour to him as he is only reliving the past and trying to recompensate for the trying times he has endeavoured , especially when he used to catch wild catches with his friends and now he feels that a can is not enough for him ..... Give him a a bit of tolerance and dont be too upset about the car , after all he only wants fresh trout , abit of salmon , and some respect for hIm and his fellows.....

Answer 9

all cats need freedom if its out to late dont worry cat's are fast they can get out of danger them self's dont worry

an dogs are not better than cats !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!...

ps.i love cat's