I'm writing a poem and i really need some help at the end of it. I really want to impress my teacher, any help

Question

ok this is my first poem...

You told me to dream a dream…

And I did.

You told me to hold on to this dream.

I did….

You told me to trust my dreams, for they have beauty

I did…

You told me to trust myself, for I lay beauty within .

I'm not really sure what to up at the end.

This is my next poem;

Slipping though the cracks of my mind…

Slipping, faster, faster, faster.

Falling in a vicious circle of confusion.

Harder, Harder, I fall.

I fall into a puddle of my own pain.

The pain that I thought I would never see.

I'm not sure what to say next. I really need some help, please, thxs

Answer 1

first poem

... you told me to turst myself for i lay beauty within

i did..

i drept of a dream with u, happy living, beuty in the nights, but when you left, my dream turned into a nightmare...

idk

lol im not sure what u want to come accrose with that

second---

a pain i didnt know existed

a pain i wish no one would ever have to face

knawing to the top i clutch hard to the slippery brick walls, looking for wholes to cling onto

nailing my nail fall of

fearfully i run but its a trap, a dead end, i have to face this alone

idk think of somting im not good at this sorry lol

Answer 2

1st: And within beauty I lie?

2nd: Because pain is a blind feeling that i saw through sense?

maybe. im not much help but its something

Answer 3

leave them like that they sound good :)

Answer 4

1.You told me to trust myself, for I lay beauty within

   I did.

  And now, I am happy to be myself

2.The pain I thought I would never see.

   But, yet I have to belive this pain

   Even if it is just in my mind.

Answer 5

wow, the first one is really good. You should get it copyrighted and send it to poem contests because you could win some money off it. I'm not really good at writing poems, but if you thought of all that, I'm sure you won't have trouble thinking of an ending. Great work! Your teacher will be impressed.

Answer 6

To finish your first poem I would write. You told me to trust myself, for I lay beauty within. I didnt win, so I had a Gin. Your A Jerk It doesnt work.

Answer 7

The pain that was inside of me.

Falling out and back again.

Stabbing like a sharp sharp pen.

Stabbing stabbing at my heart.

When will all of my pain part.

?? I improved so, not very good, but hope it helped! :D Poetry is tthe food of love.. kinda. :D

Answer 8

line 8 change up to do

Title:Puddlefish Poem

I fall into a puddle, a puddle of the brain

Where little puddle-fishes

Escort me to the drain,

Cascades me through the system;

and out to sea again.

The gulls they scream in laughter

the dolphins start to leer

And just when I get worried a <<Plop>>

And I'm a tear

needs some work, doesn't scan =  polish it up

good luck

Answer 9

You should end it with something happy like everything turns upside down when you let God in control! That's what i would do!

Living 4 God,

Christian Girl

Answer 10

Poem 1

I did

You told me to trust in you

I did

You shattered my dream

YOU did.

Leave poem 2 as it is.

One impresed teacher coming up!!! Well done!!

Answer 11

at the end of the first poem add this:

I did all these things you told me to do

All that happened was dissapointment

Along with that pain and a wounded heart

the second one add this to the end:

I scream out for you

But you never hear

I lay there silent

Only hoping that you will rescue me

if you need anything else you can mail me

@ [e-mail]

Im a poem freak. Been writting them my whole life

have them published and everything

Answer 12

I like the second poem so I will try and help with the ending.

Your line: The pain that I thought I would never see.

Mine: Yet hear I lay helpless and weak

           Praying my  confusion I may slain

          As I clear my head waiting for the break of day

          Where I am in control once again.

It's your poem if you dont like it I understand, I was trying to be helpful though.