I'v never seen my Father but i need to meet him..HELP PLEASE?

Question

I'm sorry if theres any spelling mistakes or it does'nt really make sense, i'm abit of a emotional wreck right now.

I'm 15 years old and i'v never ever met my father.I don't know anything about him, not even his age.All i know is that he's Persian and lives in New York.Anytime i ask my mother about him she changes the subject and tells me to just drop it.The only information i could get was when we were fighting over this subject, all i got was that he "abandoned" me & that he still has pictures of me to remember me.I also remember when i was 7 asking her about him, asking if he cares about me and she said that of course he does but then ended the conversation.Do you think she just said that because i was so young? Do you think he really cares about me? Do you think he loves me? I won't rest until i meet him.Should i? How do i go about it? Do you think he still thinks about me? He last saw me when I was 2 years old.This whole thing is eating me up inside.

thank you for your time.

Answer 1

Do you have his name?  You can always to a people search on Yahoo.  What about relatives?  Can you confide in someone other than your mother to get information on him?

I'm sure he thinks about you!

Good luck!

Answer 2

I can completely relate to you on wanting to find your dad.I know how you feel in wanting to find your dad but your mom just doesn't wanna talk about it cause of something that could've happened.My mom and dad were in a abusive relationship(I found that out threw my grandparents whom I live with)My parents were teen parents and BOTH my parents actually "abandoned" me you could say since they just left me at my grandparents when I was 1 and then my dad came back and tried to be a father but when I was 2 he left again.

and since then he's never come back.My mother still visit and calls just about every 8 months and talks for 5 minutes then we never talk again,so my moms not very useful but when I do talk to her and I ask her about my dad she screams and flips out,It's because she doesn't wanna go back to remembering the things he did to her,and maybe your dad did something to your mom that she doesn't wanna have to go back and remeber so she just tells you to drop it.

I think your father does care about you,though he left you,I mean he made a mistake and left when things probably got a bit hard around being a father,im sure he looks at your pictures everyday and thinks about you atleast once everyday,I mean I know I do when I think about my father I have pictures of me and him and I look at them when I start to get to down but those pictures just make me so much happier and give me hope to find him.Im very sure he loves you as well.If finding your dad will make you happy then do it! try and figure out his name and do some people searches.Im doing that currently since I have no help and once I find his number and make sure it is my dad I will hope to meet in him the next few months.

I had the same feeling about my dad it seriously was eating me up,I just wanted to know my dad so badly and I felt like a bad person though cause I though it's my fault for my dad leaving.

I know you may have a hard time finding out even just your dads name,but if you can't get it from your mom find a close relative or grandparent that was around your mom and dad when you were little,and just ask for his name.Tell your mom that whenever she's ready to talk about your dad and about everything that may have happened with him,it'll trigger something to her head letting her know she has some time to think about the things she wants you to know NOW and what she wants you to know a little LATER.I know when you get told only certain things like a name and like a few things that don't seem important don't be begging for the stuff that she'll tell you a little later because that stuff you yourself may not be physically and emotionally ready to hear about and thats exactly how some things are with me.I mean my mom thought about things and called and told me very little unimportant things(besides his name which only helped me) All you need is that first and last to find him(middle names usually a bit of a better helper).But really if you let your mom know when shes ready to talk your always open she'll come to you and she'll talk about it,maybe not tomorrow or in two week or in a month or two,but over time she'll start to open up.You have no idea so it could be anything that could've hurt your mother in a way where she knows you have every right to know but she's just not prepared to let you know about everything.

Just time will heal everything and I mean that,it's been 10 months since I found out about all this,and in 10 months I've actually learned alot of things.As of now im looking for my dad and hoping I will find him,just cause he left didn't make him a bad person or anything he just made a mistake,he was under pressure he didn't know right from wrong since his father wasn't around and he didn't really know how to father a child,but he was a single dad and he was young so it was extremely hard for him you know? So really time will heal everything,you need to give everything some time and wait for your mom to come around and I know you don't want to wait but you'll be so glad you did,I guarentee it.

but if you ever feel the need to talk about this and kinda need someone whos been there done that in this kinda situation,you can email me and I don't mind talking about this kinda situation.My emails on my page so if you go there you can get it.

Good luck though and I hope everything works out.

Answer 3

im sure he would lvoe you, even though you havent met for years you are his daughter and that never changes. i know you said your mother does  not want to talk about it, but if i was you i would tell her that you really need to meet him, because he is your father and you need him in your life in some way.talk calmly to her, it sounds as if your mum and dad went through something tough and she seems worried to talk to you about it but just let her know how much you want to meet him, and how much it is hurting you that you havent seen him. i wish you luck with it!

Answer 4

You are one of thousands of kids who are in this same situation.  When you are 7 I think the last thing your mom wanted you to know was the true story...and at 15 I don't think your mom is able to tell you the whole story.  Your dad may still care for you and think of you, but has he ever in the last 13 years made another attempt to see you?  That's something you should ask your mom, and ask her to tell the straight up truth no matter how hurtful it may be.  That answer may determine if your father cares or if he truly did abandon you and your mom.  If your mom's answer is "yes, he wanted to see you again" then there is still the hope that you and him can reconcile.  If your mom's answer is "no," then chances are you dad has moved on with his life, as hard as that is to realize.

One of my good friends was "abandoned" by her dad when she was an infant.  He came by to see her a few times (the last time she was 3), but after that he disappeared.  When she was 18 she was able to track him down and meet him.  3 years later she still won't talk about everything that happened, but it was a very painful experience for her.  From the little that she spoke about, it was very obvious that her dad really never wanted her and had moved on with his life.  So you need to really think long and hard about whether or not you want to do this.  You may have the fantasy that your dad wants to see you so bad, but can't make it over there, and that he loves you and you two will reunite; but most of the time the world is not like our fantasies.

Talk with other relatives or sit down with your Mom and tell her bluntly that you want to know about your dad.  Ask her why he left, what he was like before you were born, tell her you want to know his history.  And what your mom may tell you may lead you to realize that there might be a reunion, or that a reunion should not happen.

Answer 5

I found my dad on myspace and after 20+ long years of not talking I sent him a message and he never replied.. when my mom died in may he contacted through her online obituary and has emailed me a few times but the conversations are very generic almost like he feels obligated to talk to me or something.. just be prepared if you do find hm not to have high expectations.. your mom may be right.. just have an open mind .

Answer 6

I'm sure he loves you. He'd probably love to see you. Perhaps your mom only says he abandoned you because she doesn't want you going after him.

Email me if you want to. My biological father passed away long ago so I know how it is to be fatherless. I'm 15.