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I've a daughter who just turned fourteen?!?

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how do i deal with her attuide? im trying to be patient and not to yell, but it's hard when she takes everything as an arguement, or tends to whine..i've tried grounding her, that doesnt work..talking to her is a hassle anymore..what do i do? she's a good kid for the most part..but right now im pulling my hair out!

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you should have thought about this before you had a kid no really you just need to show your authority and remain stirct to your convictions she'll come around
Report (0) (0) | earlier
Welcome to teenagers. I was about bald, too, when my daughter finally turned 18 and moved out of the house. If you haven't been strict with her for her whole life, haven't popped her on her behind when she acted like she was queen of the world since she was a little kid, and let her get her own way all her life, then you are in for a ride. She is still the same person that you have known since birth, but now the things she demands and you have to let her have to keep her mouth shut are a lot bigger. I wish you all the luck in the world, because short of taping her to a chair for the next four years, nothing is going to make a difference now.
Report (0) (0) | earlier
lol your daughter sounds kinda like me what you could try to do i guess is take an easy approach to her or if that doesn't work say if you want to have an attitude like this that's fine but not under my roof hopefully that will work
Report (0) (0) | earlier
Ack! I'm not looking forward to that. Do you have a partner you can rely on to pick up the slack when you're overwhelmed? There may be classes or books you could read on how to deal with teenagers, maybe even support groups! lol

Try to keep in mind that she's suffering from a hormonal imbalance, essentially. Like a kid with postpartem or pre-menopausal symptoms. I know it sounds strange, but t may help you keep her moodiness in perspective.
Report (0) (0) | earlier
Your punishments are not harsh enough and you are not firm enough.

If she is disrespecting you, ground her azz for a month with NO friends, tv, computer, phone. Don't relent. See how long little missy's attitude keeps up.

If it's the typical kid whining "but why can't I stay till midnight? Moooooom!" do the tried and true method : "it's 10pm, once more word and you're not going". She will test you, you follow thru, and it will stop.

Another method I found personally to work with self-centered and delusional teens is to imitate them. Their voice, their inflections, their ridiculous reasoning: "Mooooom! I'm an adult now! You can't tell me what to do!" .... "really? great! Pack all your sh*t and get out. Where is your apartment? Have you got all the utlities paid?" Or, later when they ask you for something like a ride or money "Nope, you are an adult and I would not want to stifle your independence."

It makes them realize how stupid they sound and they will stop saying stupid c**p they know you will rip apart.
Report (0) (0) | earlier
take stuff away from here like her cellphone,ipod,laptop something she uses daily or like no tv for a week if u keep up this this attudiude like that it worked for my parents i hope it works for u!
Report (0) (0) | earlier
Welcome to life with a teenager.  It is hard not to lose your patience, and it's okay if you do, no one is perfect.  The main thing is to be firm, and stick to what your rules for her are.  When she starts to argue or whine, tell her that if she can sit down and talk to you like an adult, you'll listen, but otherwise, you will not discuss the matter with her until she can be mature about it...then walk off.  They can't have an argument if you're not listening.

Ultimately, there must be something that she just can't live without.  Cell phone, computer?  She misbehaves, you take it.  Eventually she'll get tired of losing things.
Report (0) (0) |   earlier
Im almost 15 and im not bad at all but my sister is horrible. She yells about everything. My parents are so patient with her and never ground her and she still talks so much c**p about them.

Its sad really.

But I'm sure your are doing a great job, really.

My best of luck to you because I know how my sister is and my god, its horrible.

Report (0) (0) | earlier
idk... I'm 13 i can see where shes coming from she has problems of her own and she probably just taking it out on you... try going somewhere together that she likes. Like the mall or somewhere and just ask her whats going on... don't just pile her with questions ask her maybe one or two questions at a time.
Report (0) (0) | earlier
She's feels the same way you do. Give her a little space, she might be stressing out with all that's going on. School and boys and whatnot
Report (0) (0) | earlier
teen years can be very stressful, and it's normal.But always remind her that you're her mother and you deserve respect.Plus tell her how it makes you feel,and ground her,like take her ipod away or anything else
Report (0) (0) | earlier
well I'm 13 and me and my mom have an AWESOME relationship, mainly because she is strict, but fair... she tells me everything and we are extremely open. Of course she gets annoying (job of a mom!) but she leaves me be when i need time alone. Just try and relax and let things go and TRUST me, punishment...... DOES NOT HELP! i hope this helps you at all! :)
Report (0) (0) | earlier
sit her down and talk to her,or have a girls day together and when shes having fun,sit down and talk to her as if she were grown,but remind her who's the parent.listen to what she has to say.
Report (0) (0) | earlier
just stop her pocket money/allowence or pretend to stop being her friend like not do cool stuff with her for a while like say you where going shopping but then she tried arguing tell her that you'de rather not go any more and that may upset her and she may change

doubtfull though lol it's just a stage that teens go through
Report (0) (0) | earlier
If she really likes her computer than threaten to ground her from it for some time. But being like a teenager and stuff I know that parents want us kids to be good and behave and stuff but sometimes parents just annoy us and with teens hormones are raavvvinnnggg so it might not be her talkin it could be the hormones! I would ask her what's up and see if something is bothering her and try to talk to her cause I know usually when I annoy my parents it's cause I want them to take time from work and life to just talk to me for like a minute
Report (0) (0) | earlier
A couple things, you can you can totally ignore her ... not make her lunch breakfast make her bed clean her room or any of that stuff ( i don't know what you do for her, but if you have stuff that you do for her stop it) grounding teens is stupid.. it just pisses them off for a couple days but after that they laugh about it with their friends .... the best thing i can suggest is just almost ignore her and tell her if she is to act like that and live in your house than she has to do her own house work.. (laundry, and what not).. when I was younger that worked for me...
Report (0) (0) | earlier
Being patient with a teen with an attitude is very hard. I know because I have a 19 year old that is also great, but can be extremely moody. I discovered that she has a hormonal imbalance and once she was put on medication that helped a great deal, but she still can be quite temperamental at times. You are right when you say grounding doesn't work, it never worked with my daughter either. Maybe you can try the reward system. Tell her that you will do your best to talk to her and treat her with respect and for every day she gets through an entire day without being rude and disrespectful you will write $1.00 on the calendar, but for every day she is disrespectful you will subtract $1.00. At the end of the month you can pay her whatever the amount adds up to. This is just one idea, but you can come up with your own if you don't like this one. I have spent years working with kids and the reward system always works far better than punishment. Best wishes to you!
Report (0) (0) | earlier
Yell. What's wrong with yelling? Her behavior is the norm for girls her age (I've got a 13 1/2 year old). Make sure she knows her behavior is not appropriate and will not be tolerated. Set expectations for how she is to respond to you and how she is to show others around her respect. If she violates the expectations, have a set of consequences ready to go. Give her time each week or every few days to sit down with you and discuss anything that's bothering her. If she gets upset about something, how about having a "cooling off" period where she goes to her room for a few minutes to think about what she wants to say. Then you can have an "adult" talk about whatever she is upset about.

If she's whining about not doing chores or picking up after herself, tell her that she's putting more effort into NOT doing the task than if she'd just gone ahead and done it and gotten it over with!

:) Good luck! :)
Report (0) (0) | earlier
You're the parent. You need to set boundaries and consequences for her attitude, even if she is a good kid otherwise.
Report (0) (0) | earlier
Right now you have to sit tight and help her as most as you can, because teen years are the hardest years for her, and she's very stressed, so try and stay calm and watch her, and guide her the right way.
Report (0) (0) | earlier
Have a talk with her about respecting yourself and other adults. Tell her that you WILL NOT put up with the attitude anymore. I know it sounds kind of harsh, but ground her if she gets smart with you (or a teacher complains about her attitude.) Showing respect is a life long characteristic that everyone needs to succeed in life. Please help her now while she is young, that way when she is older she will be well rounded, and able to find/hold on to a job. Make sure that you tell her why she is being grounded and ,even though she will not see it now, that you are helping her. Please take it from a former teenager who had to learn respect the hard way. Hope this helps.
Report (0) (0) | earlier
Take away her privledges and constantly drill it into her head that her behavior is unacceptable. Not much else you can do, it's a rough phase.
Report (0) (0) | earlier
Ewww, you have entered the teenage years!  They are no fun at all.  When my daughter was going through I really just tried to remember what it was like for me at that age.  She probably has a lot going on with her friends and school.  Lots of pressure that we didn't have when we were that age.  The best thing you can do is keep the lines of communication open.  Keep talking, when she becomes argumentative with you stop and ask "Honey, I didn't mean to upset you can you tell me exactly what it is that is bothering you?"

Don't get me wrong do NOT kiss her butt or tip toe around her but keep her talking and keep talking to her.  Put yourself in her place once in awhile and ask her to put herself in yours.

And on the bright side she will grow out of it when she is about 25.
Report (0) (0) |   earlier
you just have to take it easy after all you are a parent and you were a girl once so you know that shes going to changes right now and you just have to bear with her.
Report (0) (0) | earlier
Let her do what she wants.

To a certain extent tho ofcoarse.

Some times the Adults got to take respnsibility and act like an adult by just letting the kid scream and yell. theres no harm in it really as long as it's in your own house and nit's not turning physical.
Report (0) (0) | earlier
Ouch, the early teen years. :\

Well, I'd say just continue as you are. She's going through a lot of physical changes right now, so there's nothing you can do about that.
Report (0) (0) | earlier
Take everything out of her room and return things as she "earns" them. Have he do her own laundry and fix her own meals until she realizes you are in charge. Now be a MAN about it and go do it.
Report (0) (0) | earlier
just have to deal with it nothing you can do. unless you just try to relax, take a bubble bath, get a massage or whatever.

http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;...
Report (0) (0) | earlier
i am fourteen years old and all i know is that i like to be in control and if im not i start to yell. i get the most upset when my mom takes away my cell and make me do house work. all teens have attitude. do fun things together, like shopping. and i think u will be alright.
Report (0) (0) | earlier
Just do what you would normally do, just cause she is a teen makes no difference, just make sure your right and really not just unfair
Report (0) (0) | earlier
My Mum Doesnt Ground Me Anymore She Says Im Too Old (Im 13) But Instead When Im Bad Or Attitudey She Leaves It And Then When I Ask To Do Something Like Sleep At A Mates She Wont Let Me. You Could Try That. Or Just Ignore Her And She Will Get Bored Of Doing Whatever Shes Doing, She Might Only Be Doing It To Annoy You. :) x
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