I've already asked but would love more input...any adoptive women unable to conceive please answer?

Question

I was adopted by loving parents at the age of 8 months. I am now 21 and pregnant. My mom was unfortunately unable to have any biological children because of fibroids and cysts on her ovaries and uterus. I am wanting to move closer to her and my dad so that they can be a part of my pregnancy. She did not try to conceive after they adopted my older brother and I. Is this a good idea? I haven't yet spoken with them about it, would it be too hard on my mom because she was never able to experience any of this herself? Any advice is needed. Thanks!!!

Answer 1

I don't think it would be hard on her. I adopted because I could not conceive and I am very happy when people have their own children.  

I think your mom would be grateful that she gets to be involved in her grandchilds birth and your pregnancy.  She may just be the best person to help you through it all. She won't be saying things like " i can't believe you are doing this or that, when I was pregnant,  I would have never done that".  I think she will be supportive and just as excited as you are to be going through it for the first time.

Answer 2

If I was in your Mums position, I would be thrilled at the prospect of having a grandchild.  I definitely don't think any other issues would come into it.

Remember though, this is your pregnancy to enjoy.  Regardless of what anybody else thinks or feels, you don't carry someone elses burden, that's not your responsibility.

Just share this experience with your parents, as it should be, and be happy!  You don't need to feel any guilt.

Good luck and congratulations!

Answer 3

I think that if you have a good relationship with her then go for it.  I don't think you should let that get in the way.  You can share the experiences with her that she didn't get to experience.  I am unable to have children and I am 36 and I know that when someone is pregnant that I welcome any opportunity to feel the baby move or be around to help out.  One of the things I really wish I could do is be there when a baby is born and experience birth for the first time.  I think this could be a wonderful experience for you, your mother and your baby!

Answer 4

I don't think you are doing nothing wrong with you wanting your mom to be apart of it. I mean I don't think it is a slap in the face, but others may think so. I mean your mom is happy about you having a baby. What more better way is it for you guys to get a little more closer. Your mom will understand and I don't think she is thinking the way you are about it. Wish you all the best and my god bless you, your baby, and your family.

Answer 5

of course it's a good idea! you're mum would probably have a hard time with you and her new grandchild living far away from her!

not being able to have biological children is upsetting at first -- however, it is not the end-of-the-world, nor is it a horrible, traumatizing experience... it's upsetting and disappointing and your mum got through it and adopted. remember she got you when you were only 8 months -  being around babies is not upsetting for her, it will be the opposite!

keep in mind that around the time she discovered she couldn't have children - most of her friends were probably getting pregnant themselves! (this is something that has been happening with me for the past 6 years)

the most upsetting part is going through the hurdles trying to adopt as you see people starting families (or hearing of people you know get pregnant and abort... now THAT is upsetting when you are bending over backwards and paying out tens of thousands to become parents!!) -- but once the paperwork and waiting is over, and your new child arrives -- it was worth every minute, every tear and every dollar! that happiest day ever!

everything happens for a reason - her not being able to conceive blessed her with you as her daughter.

you were born out of love - the biological part doesn't matter.

Answer 6

.yes I am unable to conceive and i have 2 children of  mine and they have moved out as kids do when they grow up. and i want to hug another child or children CPS has all ready been to my house and checked out my house and my house passed  so if anyone has a an answer for me i would love to hear it

Answer 7

If your mother is anything like you, and I bet she is because she raised you, loved you, and by adopting you, made a committment that she hoped would last a lifetime.  Now you are carrying her grandchild, and the bond the 2 of you can share over this pregnancy can be a wonderful experience for both of you.  Yes, she might want to experience for herself, and she might even be a little jealous, but the fact is, that she came to the fact that she couldn't have kids before she adopted you, and becoming a grandparent is a wonderful experience in itself, and I hope that I am part of my future grandchildren's births.  I even loved being around my daughter in law when she was pregnant, even though I wished it were me.  We see our granddaughter, have adopted a now 7 month old baby boy, and the kids play together.  We are expecting G-baby #2 in another few months, and once again can't wait!  Enjoy, and I bet she does too.  Besides, when you are scared, and especially in labor, it is great to have your mom around.

Answer 8

I think that is a great idea. I am unable to have a child and have been wanting to ask a close friend of mine to be int he birthing room with her to witness her child birth for the first time.  I am in the process of adopting a child and if we are fortunate to have a girl I hope that she will ask me to witness her child birth. Good luck, your mother should be very proud of you for thinking about her feelings It sounds like you both are doing a great job.

Answer 9

I was adopted and i can't have children. My sister-in-law lived with me during her pregnancy and I was at the hospital with her when she had her son. It didn't hurt my feelings that she was having a baby and I couldn't, I was glad that i could share it with her and be there for the delivery. You have to remember this is her grand baby your talking about. I don't know to many moms that don't want to be there for her daughter during this time. I really think she would be more disappointed and hurt if she wasn't able to share this with you. She isn't thinking  about herself now she's thinking about that grand baby and how she can help you. Trust me when that baby is born she's gonna want you to be living close so that she can spoil it. Good luck.

Answer 10

Your mom is going to be thrilled you are pregnant and want you to be near her. I think all she will think about is a grandchild. I don't think she is going to feel bad that you are pregnant and she couldn't get pregnant. She loves you. She's your mom.

Answer 11

she got a big heart for adopting you and your bro. she invited you to be a part of her life. its your time to invite her to be a part of your life and share the joy of being a mom.