I've become completely disillusioned with life. It seems like a cosmic farce. What should I do?

Question

I am very scientific minded. I was tested once and found to have very high levels of "verbal reasoning" and "scientific reasoning". I've been on a search for the ultimate truth of things and found it to be a double-edged sword. Most of my adult life I've suffered from low self-esteem and self-image. What I've discovered is that self-esteem is based entirely on illusions about who we are and what the world is. So now I'm left with not even hardly a self at all. All of human affairs and life in general seems like a cosmic freak show to me. Life seems to have arisen completely by accident in an area of the infinite universe with just the right conditions and physical constants for this all to happen. Life seems like an absurdity in the extreme. How can I keep from going completely insane? Everything I see now just seems random and chaotic. Where others see order and control I see complete chaos and madness. Maybe I am already insane.

Answer 1

Asking questions keeps us sane.  Do not let your intellect make you crazy.  Read books by Thich Nat Hanh, for example, and be very careful for you may be vulnerable to cult brainwashing at this stage in your spiritual and intellectual development.  Nontoxic diet and environment can help de-stress.  If you choose real results, these things must be a  very committed 24/7 process for all your life.  Many people on the planet are flipping out now because of the rapid changes in technology and inner and outer environment and they have not prepared themselves because they let others do their thinking for them.

Have the courage to live beyond what your reactive senses tell you,  It is not always the truth.  Chill and be dedicated and kind, but not lazy with, yourself and others.  A lot of people are activist, kind, smart, peaceful and very creative.  Just don't hang out with those who are not, and make yourself into the person you would like to attract.  It may be good that you have become disillusioned with superficial life.  The book What Really Matters is a fair intro to some of this.   Spiritual practice in daily life is the most important thing  rather than infinite head trips.  Do not get overwhelmed by too much

new info; work on your health at the same time.  It is never easy but it does get a lot easier.  The only thing you control is your choice every second to be a fully conscious human.  Compassionate volunteering is OK if your life is not a mess.  Your agitated energy can help a lot of people when it is done creatively and selflessly.  What seems like absurdity is just another thing the mind is used to doing.  However, bad inner and outer behavior is absurd because it tends to reinforce itself and human misery.  Does not have to be.  Chaos and madness do exist but you do not have to live there!  Plenty of good people have found their individual ways into what works.  Some fool themselves into another version of the same trip; some see through that and gradually get free.  It is a lifetime commitment.  Check out Spiral Dynamics by Clare Graves and Don Beck just for fun.

Answer 2

What's wrong with chaos?

The search for 'ultimate truth' may be an empty search.  How do you know it even exists?

I think that us being the result of unseeing processes, and me being linked with not just every life form on the planet but every single thing in the universe in that we share a common makeup is amazing.  And I think that looking at the world and imagining the processes which made it the way it is can be very spiritual.  Maybe instead of being disappointed that the universe is all there is, you should take a look at how much the universe really is?

Look into discordianism :P

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Discordiani...

Answer 3

Laugh at absurdity.

The universe may be vast, but so are you (on a different scale).

This life is all you get, so get the most out of it.

Platitudes all, yes - so I'll give you one more

In this life, you get dealt one hand of cards (metaphorically speaking).  Every hand's a winner and every hand's a loser.  Live like a winner.

Answer 4

Well, there are many takes on this.

For one thing, you aren't being your scientific self right now, you don't realize that you are giving the situations around you a meaning. That something be a "cosmic freak show" is a subjective view on the situation and has NOTHING to do with the fact that you are logical and try to seek the truth through science.

For one thing, it should be clear to you that it's hormones and neurotransmitters that make a person's encephalon react with the outcome of a certain "emotion". A mental state, ruled by neurological/physiological laws. A completely natural phenomenon, and one that no human being, as objective as he or she may be; can overcome. (unless there is a psichopathological reason for which this person can)

Given these facts, you should also immediately realize where the true solution is: the brain. This central organ is controlled by neurons, which are controlled by neurotransmitters. As the synaptic transmission rates are decreased (slows down), the person enters a state of depression. This is clearly a physical and physiological state.

A direct solution, and a new problem would include the introduction of a medication, for example, an anti-depressant. On a side note, this solution both costs money and doesn't solve the psychological issue behind it... further causing new problems such as drug dependence.

My personal suggestion for you, as a health professional, is to try to see things differently, perhaps talk to new people, get out of your routine and practice some form of physical activity. Also, make sure you're eating right and check your home-lighting. One common cause for clinical depression is the use of dim lights at home. It's a proven fact that if you stare at white light for a couple of hours every day, you can stop depression.

cheers, and good luck.