I've become obsessed with being the center of attention at stores and shopping centers!

Question

Hi. I need to find a balance, or is there a balance?

here is the deal: People usually look at me when I'm at public places (people tell me this is because I'm young, very attractive, and cute)

Well, now I'm at the point where I just think about this all the time... like when I'm at shopping centers. I am too self conscious about everything, about who is looking at me, etc, to the point where I no longer enjoy the experience of being at the mall or other public places.

At the same time, I don't want to go about life not realizing how much I draw people's attention. I know its vain, and lame, but someone once told me.... that one shouldn't feel guilty and ashamed of being good looking. I want to take maximum advantage of that strength of mine.

I don't think it's wrong. We all take advantages of our strengths and minimize our weaknesses.

So, I guess my question is: how do I keep a balance or a middle-ground... acknowledging that people are checking me out (it feels good!)... but in a way that it doesn't take all my attention..

how do I do it?

I'm sorry for sounding so empty and lame. =S

Answer 1

Maybe you should go out one day without any make-up on and see if you can still have a good day. Realize how meaningless it is....what strangers think of your looks. Or anybody, for that matter. What people really value is how 'kind' you act. Sure, looks can be 'important' to people with certain values, but since no one retains "classic beauty" as they age, the sooner you prepare for this, the better.  

Answer 2

great you get attention for your looks...but don't be so self centered about it when in public...let the person know when you notice a compliment and move on...you may be good looking but is that all you are? are you needy is that why you are looking for it?maybe you need to look inside and see why you need all the attention...one day someone better than you will get noticed and you will feel like c**p...unless you look deeper inside

Answer 3

You have what is called obsessive compulsive disorder. OCD is a neurotic condition where a person has the same thought running through their mind like an endless tape loop.

You don't have a character flaw, rather you have a problem with your thinking process.

  People with OCD often feel compelled to engage in repititious behavior, such as counting cracks in a sidewalk or constant hand washing.

  OCD is nothing to be afraid of. It doesn't mean you are going crazy, but it can be annoying. to experience.  

  OCD is often an indication of some other emotional or physical problem that needs attention.  

  i SUSPECT THAT YOU ARE FEELING UNFULFILLED IN SOME OTHER AREA OF YOUR LIFE.

There is a book I think you should read, called "The Boy Who Couldn't Stop Washing' that deals with OCD.

I suggest professional help if you are unable to get a handle on it.

  In the interem you should realise that you are  only one of millions and millions of good looking people and that they are being admired  and looked at by others as well.  Be happy that you are one of them but realize that it's not really such a big deal.  Furthermore, your physicality  is only one dimension of your being., and not neccesarily the most important.  

Answer 4

it's great to have self confidence and self esteem and usually the people that have that aren't obsessed with how others perceive them and who is and who isn't checking them out. i think you are a little paranoid.

as you said "I am too self conscious about everything, about who is looking at me, etc, to the point where I no longer enjoy the experience of being at the mall or other public places."

when someone is checking you out and you want to acknowledge that, smile. or say thanks if a compliment is passed along and be on your merry way.

Answer 5

heh ur lucky to feel like that.. You shouldnt wanna have to ignore it.. but if you really want to... then all i can say is just.. maybe ignore everyone and actually shop hehe take ur mind off of the people looking at you.. Im sorry, this is somthing that ur going to have to grow on.

Answer 6

It's not your fult your good looking if you got it flunt it.

Answer 7

Wow, total coincidence --i just read about your mental problem just a 10 mins ago. --Its called "imaginary audience syndrome" The imaginary audience refers to an egocentric state where an individual imagines and believes that multitudes of people are enthusiastically listening to him or her at all times. Though this state is often exhibited in young adolescence or prepubescence.

In extreme cases, belief in an imaginary audience can lead to paranoia as the sufferer believes he or she is being watched by an invisible audience at all times. Fearing that he or she is being observed and evaluated, such an individual may develop a phobia of making mistakes or looking foolish in public.

Also, theres this psychologist called David Elkind who says that by their very nature, adolescents are unable to grasp what other people are thinking or feeling, so they exist in a sort of egocentric daze, assuming that everyone else is as obsessed with their lives as they are. This explanation posits that teens often feel as if they were on a grand stage in front of a watchful audience that notices every facet of their appearance and behavior. Hence, the teenage drama queen. Her bad hair day is a catastrophe because she believes that everyone is watching only her. And because she feels she is of such importance to everyone.



In two words though, I would say you are an attention seeking annoying little twit (wait, sorry i guess thats 4 words).

Answer 8

well i guess u should ignore all the people (guys) that r starin at u and be focused on wat ur doin and where ur goin. u could still think ur hot and pretty but ignore the obsesed guys.

Answer 9

wow im sorry but you need to get over urself

Answer 10

Get over yourself first how about.