I've been contemplating getting a divorce, but am scared of my husband.?

Question

My husband and I have three kids together. Very young. We have only been married 363 days, but have been together 4 1/2 years. I found out that he was masturbating to p**n, which, in itself, most people don't think is a problem. The problem is that he tries to hide it AND he doesn't have s*x with me as often. (Just for those of you that like to try to hurt people, I love s*x, like p**n, and enjoy spicing things up.)

Anyways, because of our latest fight, I want to go. He told me he doesn't care how I feel anymore and to f-off. I want to give him his freedom...and mine...but he has told me before that he would plant drugs in my vehicle to keep the kids and if all else failed, that he would shoot me. He's got 3 guns to choose from and because he's become emotionally cold in the last year and because of the things that he says, I believe him.

What do I do? I can't run to my family for fear that he'll come after with guns ablazin'. I can't run to the police because I'm afraid that would trigger his rage. I just don't know what to do.

Help, please.

Answer 1

You are putting yourself and your kids by staying with this man.  You can contact one of the hotlines available to battered women and let them guide you in a situation like this.  He sounds insane, and I think you have just accepted his behavior as a way of life.  I know you are afraid, but you must get yourself out of this situation.

Answer 2

Why don't you just let him dominate and abuse you the rest of your life.....NOT!!!

You should get a lawyer and seek good legal advice. That's where you start!

Answer 3

Why would you let your fear, over run the safety of you and your children?  Fear is what would have you run even faster.

When he's not home  take the d**n guns  and go to the cops. I know, he could get his hands on more guns, but if you go to the cops, why not go over the cops heads and go to the FEDS?  They could probably help set you up with "under ground" connections, so you can your kids could get away safely. And hopefully away.......not in the same town, or a town where he knows where you might run.

Think of your kids.  The safety will over ride any fear!!!

Answer 4

Find someone else. Life is to be enjoyed. Don't spend it with people who make you feel worthless.

Answer 5

I went trough this already, and the sad part is that i was the child.

My mom stayed with that jerk and she is still with him. I'm 20 now and i hate his guts. He traumatised my childhood, i always saw my mom getting beat by him. He even hit her when she was pregnant with my little brother (he is now 14). He cheated on her also. Now he changed becuase he became a Jehova's Witness. But those memories are still in my mind. Please dont do this harm to yourself or to your children.

dont be scared, men like him are usually cowards. They are like dogs that bark a lot but they never bite. When ever he goes to work or just goes in the shower, etc run to the police. They will get a retriction against him, and he will not be able to come near him. and he will "have to" give you the divorce right away. Whatever you do "dont" stay there any longer. for the sake of your children an you.

Good luck

Answer 6

I was about to say that him lying about p**n and you two having sexual issues wasn't enough of a reason to think about divorce.

But then I read about the threats... Now he might have just said that out of rage. But only you know your husband best. I'm not there, I didn't hear his tone of voice, I haven't witnessed your previous fights, ect.

I would google a women's shelter in your area, they might be able to give you some professional advice on how to get away from him for good. Tell them about the threats and see what they say.