I've been dating someone for three years and now I think we're not compatible?Please help!?

Question

We've been together three years, I'm 18 and I was 15 when I started dating my boyfriend, he's three years older then me as well. We're each others first loves, everyone I know including my family who wasn't crazy about me dating an older guy at 15 thinks he's wonderful and we're perfect. He even gave me a promise ring a year ago and wants to get engaged when he's done with college. However over the past few months I notcie small issues that bug me.

We're very different. I'm really into spiritual things the paranormal and the unknown, I think no one can know anything for sure, he's a true scientist and totally into math and things you can prove. He goes to college, I'm into cosmetology and I model. I can talk your ear off and he can go without saying much for hours. Sometimes I really wish I could talk about important things with him like life and God and people and all sorts of philosophies, I wish he would open up and talk about how he feels or his day instead of me going on and on or asking him a bunch of questions to find out. I just wish I could really talk to someone sometimes, not just about the stupid day to day things you know? He's into sports, I can't stand them. I love art, he could less. I like phone calls, he hates using the phone.

And then yesterday we were at a football game and the couple in front of us was adorable, all cuddly with occasional kissing and whispering in the ear it was so cute. I mentioned it to him and he said he doesn't like public displays of affection like that, which I mean I think it's gross when people make out in public but small stuff like that I think is so sweet! He's not romantic, I don't get nice texts or comments on myspace from him in the morning anymore (he used to always do stuff like that), he only responds if I say something to him. Nothing sporatic or sweet, the romance is just a dead thing which sucks becuase I'm a hopeless romantic.

Lastly, the s*x issue sucks. He's weird about it, when he wants to have s*x its like bam we have s*x. When I do he never seems to want to....I have to "work" for it. He can't have s*x twice in a day. He considers 20 minuetes to half an hour long. We probably have s*x once maybe twice a week. Usually it doesn't do much for me, but sometimes it has been amazing.

Problem is I love him, I always have, and I think I always will. But I look at these issues now and can't help but wonder if we're just not right together, if I tell him that he says we're ment to be and perfect together. I just don't know what to do. If I'm being just being unrealistic or what? Please help!

Answer 1

This is a serious answer, get counseling. Individual to see if the issues are things you need to work through by yourself and possibly couples if the counselor thinks it necessary. Having a third party who can be objective and not take sides can be invaluable.  

Answer 2

Sometimes opposites really do attract. Think of it this way, hes everything you're not and its like he completes you. If you want this to work then you're going to have to really talk to him about opening up to you more and really having some deep conversation. It really does seem like a shame to throw away three years of love so you should just work at it. If its completely hopeless and theres nothing left for you to do, then its just time to call it quits.

So basically what I'm saying, try your hardest to make it work, anything you can think of that can make your relationship stronger and happier. If that doesnt work, tell him the difference is too large and move on. Of course it would be hard, but you have to think about whats best for you.

Good luck and I hope this all works out for you!