I've been depressed, unhappy, alone for a couple years, it's worse now. How can I fix this?

Question

I feel so unhappy with myself, my family can see it but they don't know what to do. I just moved back to new york hoping that old friends and family could cheer me up but my friends never call me. I am grateful to have my Dad around but he doesn't understand why I'm depressed. I'm alone all the time and wish I could be happy with myself.. I feel like there's no hope in my life and everything I've done in my life is c**p. I'm totally insecure around girls which doesn't help my chances getting a date or making any friends. I tried exercising, therapy, I don't like taking meds. I just need to talk to someone who knows what I'm going through. Thank you.

Answer 1

You need to get self-stability and inner peace. Sometimes a change doesn't hurt. Rearrange your room? Go somewhere you never gone to, but sort of thought about? Expressing yourself doesn't hurt, and if pay close attention, you might discover somethign new about yourself, and understand yourself more. Try making art, doesn't matter if you've never taken a class, or aren't "talented." What opened a window for me was watercolors-just a simple set from Prang. But you could choose any art media you want. Writing also helps, whatever you want, how you feel, poems, anything. An instrument perhaps. Dancing? Basically grab that pulp inside of you and convert it into something else. And you don't need much to prepare, just go get the supplies, and start! Try getting some watercolor paper and a set of watercolors, tomorrow. Something is worth a try. No questions, and let it all go. I've found that Tai Chi is also very relaxing, you could try taking some classes. There is always something out there that can graps your interest, you just need to find it. Anything, you just have to be more open. Trust me, there is something out there that you don't know much about, but once you do you'll be enthralled. You could also take a psychology class, it might give you more insight. Also take a class or join a club that has your interests--language, music, science, history? You'll also find people there you'd be able to befriend. Peace to you!

Answer 2

First, and I know this is going to sound harsh, quit wallowing in self pity. The only person that can make changes in your life is yourself. Look for a hobby to help you through the tough times. Start reading books. I recommend anything by David Eddings. You need to sit down and have a talk with yourself and decide on what changes you need to make to improve yourself. As for being insecure around girls, why? They are not that much different from you. They eat, breathe, and sleep. What's the worst thing that one could say? No. So what.  

Answer 3

There isn't any easy answers to your problem. It's all the more frustrating when all the solutions lie within your own mind. I haven't always had an easy time myself. I would ask yourself why you aren't interested in medication. You threw it out there like there was some major stigma attached. I take medication for ADD and depression. When I take the medication, I can concentrate, and I'm not depressed. I am more successful at work, and I have a much easier time socially. In fact, the difference is dramatic.

Talking to another depressed and socially anxious person is probably the last thing you need to do. I know what you are going through. I have gone through it myself.

Get out and get off your rear end. Try some medications and don't give up on them during the dry mouth and headache period. Then after that? Go out and go skydiving. Join some group... ANY group! I am a Buddhist. It's a wonderful belief system, and there is a wonderful community that goes along with it. That isn't the only group out there, but it's one that I know a little about.

Good luck....

You don't need good luck though. You need to make it happen.  

Answer 4

i believe when you stop being able to joke around and be a careless kid you lose part of yourself. if you can't JUST have fun then you're doing something wrong.

don't take yourself so seriously!

here, watch this. this is what i mean. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TivunHwwi...

Answer 5

you should really give therapy another chance- depression is not always just a "get out of your funk" kind of thing, it's an imbalance of chemicals in your brain and sometimes you just really need to medicate for awhile to get yourself back on track. Please consider this before it gets worse. I'll bet you're really a great guy who needs some extra understanding and a little professional help. Good Luck to you!

Answer 6

i thought i was the only one... i understand how you feel im not sure why your depressed but when i was depressed i felt just like you, but what made it all go away was some girl i met i fell in love and now im like so happy with everything...what you need is a good friend some company it doesn't have to be a girl ...it can be a friend, you just need some one to make you happy, some one to talk to , some one to have fun with, trust me man there is hope you just have to find it... and if you feel insecure around girls well just watch a couple of romantic movies read a couple of books and try to copy them guys that always get the girls but don't be a complete *** hole girls don't like that... i live in new york too lol this place can be kinda depressin cuz dependin where you live its dirty lol, some girls think nervous guys are cute and they know for a fact that there not the ones that are tryin to play them so i think that can actually help you a little, try to get a girl or make some friends, the smallest things can make the biggest problems go away, i hope i helped oh yeah and that therapy stuff... waste of money and dont take meds, you can fix your problems with out that stuff

Answer 7

Well this is a good question and i understand  u bcuz i used to  live in miami i had to move to texas for personal reasons but i left almost my whole life back there and the same thing happens to me my friends never call me instead i have to call them and the worst part is that most of my friends r happy bcuz i left over there its like if i made their life miserable or something but i didnt care bcuz life is about making new friends so i went 2 my school orientation and now almost all of the teachers that i met love my personality but u need 2 be a ppl person like me and believe it or not sometimes i feel like if i made the worst mistake of my life moving 2 texas but even though i am a teenager i still make mistakes and i am totally uncomfortable around boys too but u will get used to it  just go to fun places like a video game central with your family and things but u will get over it

Answer 8

I'm going to provide you with the real secret to get rid of depression forever.

Depression only happens in the subcortex,never in neocortex. Remember this. And you must learn how to wanish your brain to get rid of the depression in one minute a day, usually in the morning as a first thing you'll do. The secret is literally brainshift you out of your depression anytime it comes down upon you. How you'll do it ? Simply, leave subcortex thought"I am depressed", enter immediately into neocortex by thinking any think you want or comes spontaneous to you.

Brain swich can save your life.

I put below a short extras from my article about this subject , to inspire you. Take from it what you like.

Here's proven natural remedies for any kind of depression once forever...

Ten ways to successfully get rid of depression.

1} Important defense mechanism has spinach, , beetroot lettuce with much lemon juice and olive oil.POWER BENEFIT: In depression your blood has tendency to be acidic. You need to try neutralize this situation What I said above has high nutritional value and alkalizing quality. As a result, you'll start to feel energetic, useful to yourself and others.

2} Blueberries. Fresh or frozen, not to mention it tastes absolutely delicious, two servings daily for two weeks. POWER BENEFIT: struggle against feeling of guilt and loss of interest in ordinary activities.

3} Carbohydrates, and vitamin B-complex supplement. Depression is a cruel killer that shape cyclic human hormonal reality into delicious desert. The more tryptophan enters your brain, the more serotonin will be produced to kill that killer. Get rich tryptophan eating banana, apple and kiwi. POWER BENEFIT : combat thoughts of suicide and irritability.

4} Get Omega 3. This makes sense physiologically since omega 3 works on neurotransmitter pathways in the brain. Also, omega 3 keeps the blood wessels of the brain free from blockages It also helps in boosting up the nerve cells to function at a higher level. Because omega 3 is found in Oceanus fish and eggs and if you want only fruits and vegetables then take omega 3 supplement.

5} Daily walking in the sun. It produces a brain chemical called dopamine which help maintain mental equilibrium But before you leave your home eat milk, yogurt or salmon,tomatoes,cucumber and /or broccoli.

6} Out, find a place where you can express your emotions aloud . For example cry if you feel inside like crying. This is an act of courage and in the same time, shows your progress. Immediately after this, it can't be less than a big happy moments.

7}Selenium,vitamin B 12, for the" feel-good " brain receptors. The take away from it is that you need eat brown rice,nuts,seeds and liver.

8} Drink a lots of mineral water with pH above from 7.4

9} Breakfast cereals .Don't forget it.

10} Breathing exercises on daily basis,the most powerful line to cure depression because a high need of brain for oxygen.

I hope I helped you a bit.

Good health to you.