I've been invited for a drink at the local Conservative Club; apparently it's quite inexpensive...?

Question

but I'm a lifelong Labour supporter. Will it be O.K. to go as long as I pee on the toilet seat and put a moustache on the Milk Snatcher's picture?

Answer 1

Don't go if it will leave you feeling inferior.

Answer 2

Now why would you want to leave urinary dribbles on the loo seat and put a moustache on the Milk -Snatchers picture?Did those years of Conservative Governments leave an indelible impression on you?I loved the 3 day week and the lights going off at 10.30pm.Thats when I learned my trade and made up for all the protein that Mrs T stole off me when she stopped our daily milk ration.Those 18 years were tough though under General Thatcher.

In 1992 I happened to be working at a large club in Glasgow that exclusively catered to Tories.It cost them 20k per year and they could stay over and get 3 hots and a cot with leisure facilities thrown in.

I was a KP, that backbone of all kitchens and any good chef will tell you that.

Anyway a dinner was being held and it was a 5 or 6 courser and in the kitchen were 2 large stock makers.These contraptions were bigger than your average house boilers.All the stuff was thrown into it.Bones,fish heads everything it was to make the soup for the dinner.Well on the afternoon in question me and a compadre of mine decided to give the stock that little bit extra.We pissed in it.I know I'm a horrible incorrigible nasty man but we had been governed by these b******s for 13 years and enough was enough.The club was even paying us cash in hand and the boss a leading Tory was aware of this.Not that I minded.Every penny counts in the war on starvation.

The dinner went off and at the end of the shift the Tories got a collection together for the kitchen staff and in particular the marvellous soup that came out of the stock pot.So I'd dribble away even better clog up the bog pan but make sure they can't pin it down to you.Enjoy yourself, as the chinaman said.To know your enemy you must get close to your enemy.

Answer 3

If you support the current labour government then you will find the conservatives are exactly the same apart from the colour of their logo.

Answer 4

Oh no hun, you should never go anywhere *conservative*. It simply wouldn't suit you!

Answer 5

you've got to be much naughtier than that.  why not puke all over their carpet as well

Answer 6

Make sure you get an expensive "souvenir" from the place--something they won't miss.