I've got so much stress in my life... I'm almost ready to end it all. Help.?

Question

I'm having a tough time balancing school, home, my relationship, making time for everyone, money, seemingly everything. I feel like I'm being pressured and so much is expected of me. I don't want to seem spoiled or ungrateful, but lately I've been very depressed. For one, I want to break up with my boyfriend because I think it will end all my stresses and worries, but I'm afraid once he's out of my life I'll feel worse. I love him, and we've been together for nearly 9 months now, but there's so many issues: he has a child with another girl (drunk+one night stand=life changing), I have suspisions that he's cheated but there's a lot that tells me he hasn't so maybe I'm paranoid, and sometimes I think I could do better but then other times I feel that he's the best thing in my life right now... confusing? Yeah..

I really want a job but I can't get one because there isn't anywhere near by and I'd have to walk there. I'm almost 18 and my parents won't take me to get my license. My grades in school are dropping because I'm giving up. I have no interests in school anymore, it's just not new and fun like it used to be. I want to save all my money so I can move out and no longer depend on my parents for everything, but that just can't happen right now.

I feel like I'm living for nothing right now... there's nothing in my life at this point to keep me around and I just want it to end. I feel like a burden in everyone's life. My dad told me today that he can see where my priorities are and that he doesn't care if I just move out and leave. He told me I'm useless and said I don't do anything, which is a lie because everyday I come home and do my laundry, keep my room clean, help with dishes... I'm not a bad kid, never smoked anything or gotten in serious trouble. I lost my best friends this year and I feel like I have nobody to turn to. Can anyone give me some sort of advice? I'm not sure what to do anymore and I'm tired of going through this. I need help before I make any drastic decisions. Everyday I wake up, it's like the same bad dream like my life is going nowhere =/ Ugh this isn't like me either, I've always been happy, funny, lots of friends, great in school... any form of help is GREATLY appreciated.

Answer 1

I've been in that situation before, and I know this is over the internet but please promise me you won't kill yourself. I'm absolutly positive you are a beautiful person and have something amazing to offer this world. You really need to talk to someone. If you can't afford professional counseling go to your school counselor and talk to them about all the stress you're feeling. And if you ever feel like you're going to end it and/or have made plans to, go to the hospital. They'll bring someone in for you. Maybe it's time to make some changes in life, I dunno. But talk to someone, and when you do it's very important to be utterly honest about what you feel. Good luck dear!

Answer 2

Please, go see your counselor at school. Tell your boyfriend you care alot about him, but you need a break. There is nothing in this life you cannot do so, don't let it get to you, you can do it. Go into your father, tell him you are sorry that you two are misunderstanding something and ask what you can do to help. Trust me it is hard, but you will feel better. Let your dad know whats going on. It would break his heart if he knew his little girl is feeling the way you do.

Answer 3

im really sorry, i dont no much but my advise would be to lose the bf, dont want to sound harsh, but he sounds like if he's not an idiot, hes going to b one soon. dont let him pull u into it to. be carefull.

grades. schools hard, but it's necessary. (this'll sound wierd, but...) believe in urself, and know ur going to get through it all.  

     with all of the chaos that is surrounding u, squeeze in time for just u. MAKE time. grab a mag, and go in your room, relax.

good luck. you can do this.

Answer 4

There are people who can and want to help you find your way - don't let negative people bring you down! Tell that cheatin' BF to take a hike because he sounds like he's part of the problem. If you are always with people who don't value you, you will begin to think you aren't worth valuing. The reality is, there are people out there who don't bother to see the good in other people because they are only interested in fulfilling their own needs. Surround yourself with people who really care about you and you'll see what they see in you - a funny, bright, and interesting person with a lot to offer the world.

Sometimes things seem so big and important right now and then a year later they are small and silly. Also, give yourself permission to feel sorry for yourself sometimes - it's OK!! Everyone hits a slump once in awhile in life...it's normal, it's natural, and you can deal with it - you are a woman, right? ;-)

Live everyday for tomorrow because you truly never know what wonder and happiness might be waiting for you around the corner.  

Answer 5

Please hunny, get help.

Answer 6

Hey There,

Well first its good that you are even admitting you have a problem. Some people keep it all inside and that is so much worse. Believe me hun I have been there and done that.

Lets see. I am not going to tell you to get over it and everything will be fine. I am also not going to tell you that everything will be better tomorrow. Chances are maybe they will but maybe they won't. The way to change your life always begins with you. It does not sound like your boyfriend is much help for you no offense. If you think he is cheating on you, and he is giving you all this stress then maybe its time to say goodbye. I am certain that it will make you feel worse for a while but right now you are putting yourself through a slow h**l just being with him and getting nothing out of the relationship. If you really don't want to break up with him try talking to him, see if you can work through all of your issues with him.

Don't worry about your drivers license. Sure it is kind of wrong but some parents are the way they are. You have the entire rest of your life to drive. You will get there and you will be fine. You are nearly 18 so you don't have that long to wait before you can get it on your own anyway!

Maybe you can get a job doing some free lance type of work from home. You obviously have a computer so maybe some editing if you are good at that. Or maybe you can pet sit and take care of pets at near by houses if you have any near you. You could also babysit if you like kids and you are good with them. All of them are close by options. If that does not work you could wait a little longer. Try not to rush life too much.

By the time I was 16 I was living on my own, I had my own bills, I paid my way, I ran a business, etc. Believe me it would have been nice to fall back on my parents but I could not. My father was remarried and my mother I had a protective order on by that time. My step father was the same way as my mother. I actually lived in a car for a spell when I was 17 even though my father was an extremely wealthy man.. I was on my own. It seems like your parents are a little over protective but they must love you. Otherwise why would they be?

What your dad said was wrong but he was probably just angry. I don't think he met that.

The things that can help you get threw it are... You can think about other people. People that don't have a mom and dad. People that have to live on the streets. People that are starving, etc. Think about that old saying that whoever has it bad remember their is always someone that has it worse then you. Think about all of the good times that are yet to come. Why would you want to throw that away? Concentrate on what is right in front of you.

It sounds to me like you are eager to grow up which is fine I guess we all are at one point or another in our lives but then once you do you regret not spending more time with your folks, etc, etc.

It sounds like you are a great kid, you are on a great road, you have done the right things. Don't throw that all away because you are having a bad time. Stay strong and times will get better.

Good luck

Answer 7

Ok its time to get your priorities straight.

Firstly - school, you are going to need to get good grades in order to get a high earning job later on in life.  School is not supposed to be new or fun, its supposed to be a place where you work to get what you want out of the rest of your life.  So work for it.

Job - you will need to find a way to get to and from a job anyway you know how.  Buy a bike, a scooter, or a car and get that license.

License - have you been practicing your driving and think you can pass the test yet?  Ask someone else if they will take you for your drivers license test so that you can pass it.

Boyfriend - have you asked your boyfriend what he thinks whether you should stay in school and have a chance at a high earning job later, or whether you should get a job and have concerns over how you will manage on a low wage?  Did you ask him is he has cheated on you?  Does he take care of his own kid?

Housework - everyone has to do housework, just do what you have to do in order to live in a clean house.

Have you told your father that you are not useless and do the laundry, keep the house clean, do the dishes... dont smoke and havent gotten into serious trouble. If not, then its time that you did say something to him.   You have to let him know what you are feeling inside when he insults you and you have to tell him where his opinion is incorrect.