I've had a bad day! Someone cheer me up with something funny!?

Question

I've had a bad day! Someone cheer me up with something funny!?

Answer 1

try watching glasgow rangers

Answer 2

go to youtube and type in ratman its from a programme called scaretatics. sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo funny

Answer 3

I will never hear church bells ringing again without smiling. Upon

hearing that her elderly grandfather had just passed away, Katie went straight to her grandparent's house to visit her 95-year-old

grandmother and comfort her.

When she asked how her grandfather had died, her grandmother replied:

"He had a heart attack while we were making love on Sunday morning."

Horrified, Katie told her grandmother that 2 people nearly 100 years old having s*x would surely be asking for trouble.

"Oh no, my dear," replied granny: "Many years ago, realizing our

advanced age, we figured out the best time to do it was when the

church bells would start to ring. It was just the right rhythm. Nice

and slow and even. Nothing too strenuous, simply in on the Ding and out on the Dong."

She paused to wipe away a tear, and continued: "He'd still be alive today if the ice cream truck hadn't come along.

Answer 4

Massage Parlour

A man visits a massage parlour and sees a sign on the wall that reads:

'Ham sandwiches £2.50. **** £30.00.

"Are you the young lady who does the wanks?" he asks a woman lounging against the wall in her bra and panties. The young lady wriggled a bit, pouted and pulled down her bra to show her cleavage: "Oh yes, Sir, she replied breathlessly.

''Right," said the man, "Give your hands a wash and get me a ham sandwich."

Answer 5

You've had a bad day?  Don't say that until you've had to deal with a colicky baby who at various times has sprayed you from almost every bodily o*****e.

Answer 6

How did Captain Hook die?

He wiped his @ss.

Answer 7

Lil Johnny (age 5) walked into the bathroom just as his mom was getting out of the shower. He noticed the bush between her legs, pointed at it, then asked "What's that Mommy" ? She replied

"That's my washcloth Johnny."

A week later Lil Johnny walked in on his mom in the bathroom again, but this time her bush was shaved. This really had Johnny confused so he asked "Mommy, where is your washcloth" ? his mom replied back "Oh Johnny, I lost it a few days ago."

The next evening when Lil Johnny's mom returned from having to work an extra long shift at work, Johnny rushed up as she entered the door and excitedly exclaimed "Mommy, Mommy ....... I found your washcloth" ! ...... His mom gave him a puzzled look, as Johnny continued explaining ...... "I saw the babysitter washing Dad's face with it this afternoon while you were gone"

LOL

Answer 8

found this on www.freeonlinegames.com

my mommy had a mood ring, ever since her birthday

when she was happy, it was blue

when sad, a deep purple

when confusd, yellow

when she was angry, it left a big red mark on my forehead.