I've just found out that my mate is a Crossdresser, What do I do?

Question

Well basically I knew there was something up with him after I looked at his Internet explorer history one day and seen loads of stuff about pregnant women, I think he finds it sexually stimulating, which I don't think is totally weird, but a little weird nontheless. Then today I probably did the most stupid thing and logged into his email account at my house, since I knew his password. I found out that he's signed up to several Crossdressing websites and even purchased a Bra and those fake breast things....Now I'm starting to feel weird and sick, I don't know if he's Homosexual or not, I've known him for about 15 Years and never suspected anyhting like this... I know I shouldn't have invaded his privacy and I wish I never did now. I don't have a problem if he is g*y, I'm not myself but I've worked with a few g*y people and had g*y friends.....I just don't know what to do or say, I'm gonna totally be all weird and stuff around him now...Anyone have any similar experiences they can share or advice on what I can do?

Answer 1

That wasn't very nice invading his privacy.  I wouldn't say anything.  Act like you don't know.  

Look at it like this.  Although, you find your friends cross-dressing weird, his fetish is not harming anyone. Most likely, when he/she dresses up, you won't be around.  You've been friends for 15 yrs so try to accept it.    

Answer 2

First off, you shouldn't have invaded your friends privacy.  It shows a complete lack of respect on your part.

As for your friend's crossdressing, you are grossly misinformed if you think that he might be g*y if he crossdresses.  90%+ of all men who crossdress are heterosexual, and I would say he is hetero based on the fact that he has a pregnant woman fetish.  Also, 5% of all men crossdress more or less, so chances are he's not the only one you know of.  He might crossdress for a sexual fetish and/or because he likes having a feminine expression.  Either way, so long as he isn't being otherwise self-destructive or harming others, it's not a big deal.  There are far worse fetishes or hobbies one can have.

In all honesty, you should let it go and not let it bug you.  If you can't do that, then maybe you should have a candid conversation with your friend about it.  Be sure to keep an open mind if you do.

Answer 3

As others have already said you shouldn't have invaded his privacy, but since that's something that can't be undone the best thing you can do now is to educate yourself about what crossdressing is - but of even greater importance, what it ISN'T.

Polls and surveys estimate that 10% of the male population crossdresses on a regular basis to some extent. For some this may mean only an article or two of feminine clothing, while for others it is from the inside out and top to bottom - including a full compliment of makeup, wig, stockings, high heels, jewelry, acrylic nails - the WORKS! Being a crossdresser is NOT any indication that he is g*y. 90% of all crossdressers are totally heterosexual and have no aspirations of being anything else.

Have a look at the website listed below for a lot more information about crossdressing.

Answer 4

I used to be very open minded about these things, until later when I realized what problems it causes.

You suddenly realize you are just second fiddle.  If you're ok with being second string, then don't worry about it.  I am a male, and in my case the girl became more manly.  Being a straight male, I can only be comfortable with a female.  Going along with the "current trend" in sexuality became too much to bear.  I could only go so far with this new attitude, then I had to leave.  Like you, I felt too weird and sick to continue.

I wouldn't worry about invading his privacy.  This is something more than just looking at playgirl magazing.  It is something that shouldn't be kept secret anyway.  In all fairness, he should be upfront about this with you.  People always try to force you to accept this kind of behavior as being OK.  But this is like forcing people to eat worms.  "Go ahead, everybody is doing it"!!!

Great!  Why don't you eat my plate then?

  

Answer 5

support your friend . worst thing u can do is reject him and destroy his life even more !  

Answer 6

It wasnt nice invading his privacy and i think a as a cross dresser myself you should not tell him because if that happened to me i would be shocked but then again you could wait for him to start up a conversation that arnt normal for him such things wat would you do if you were a girl for a day and those sort of things then mabey break it to him slowly.

As a crossdresser i would like to have someone i could trust so be suportive to him all the same and mabey get him a present like a bra or skirt and have a card explaining

Answer 7

Many men are too ashamed to discuss their private sexual fantasies.  If you didn't do a little snooping around you'd never know.  You can assume that he really doesn't want to talk about this.

Also, you don't have enough information to know if he has a propensity for bisexual s*x, a fetish with pregnant women, or a closet crossdresser.  Most likely he has some kind of fetish, but you just don't know for sure at this point.

Fetishes, including crossdressing, is more common that most people think.  In most cases it isn't a big problem, but in some cases it is.  These men are normal heterosexual men with one little kink in their brains.  Their brains are hard-wired to release neurotransmitters when they crossdress.  These neurotransmitters give him a sensation of well-being, pleasure, sexual gratification and self-identity.  They affect the reward centers of his brain, so it mimics the addiction response.  They may feel as if they NEED to crossdress.

In the majority of cases, these men consider their fetish as a problem and they keep it very, very private.  If their sexual partner finds out then they have to work together and make compromises to fulfill each other's needs.  The crossdresser may feel a need to wear woman's clothes, but the female partner also has needs.  She needs to feel loved, held, and protected by a man, and she also a need to love a man she can honor and respect.  In most cases the compromises include limits on what is worn, when it's worn and how often.  While the open-minded woman may tolerate some crossdressing, she rarely tolerates a loss of his masculinity.  So he can't pretend to be a woman, adopt a feminine name, or ever forget that he is a man.

Your next step is to gather more information.  Ask him if he has ever worn a dress..  He'll want to know why you ask.  Tell him that Halloween is coming up and you're considering possible costumes.  Maybe you could dress up as Cinderella and he could dress up as your ugly step-sister.  It would be funny.  Then ask him again, has he ever worn a dress.  No matter how he answers, ask him if he would let you dress him up for fun.  Just get him a wig and an old prom dress from a Goodwill Store.  I bet this action will open him up, and he will trust you more with his sexual secrets.