I've moved into a house with my boyfriend..now we are having some problems...what can I do?

Question

Hi guys!

I've got a question for you...

Me and my boyfriend have been together for 2 years... and we are now living together since february (6 months).

Even though we are a young couple, 25 and 27 years old... we are having s*x with the frequency of a FIFTY-YEAR-OLD couple!

Moreover, I find stressful to tolerate his comportment.

He is such a good guy, sweet, understanding and lovely... but I'm starting to think that our characters do not match!

Beyond the problem with the house (rented), the furnishing and other silly things we bought together...

What scare me is... "What will I do if after 1 month I'll find that I'm missing him? That I want him back?"...

I'm not sure that I want to leave him... but I can't keep treating him so badly... He deserve more then this...

I'm so confused! Please help me if you have any advice...

PS. I'm not english... did you already figured it out? Sorry for my bad English then!

Answer 1

Moving in with him means both of your are serious on each other and this is the time you will know if you have a future with him and this is also the time to accept individual differences and sort out how both of you can meet half-way. You'd better talk to him and tell him what you really feel and why you are acting this way or that way. Better sort it out before it is too late...

Answer 2

Do you love him?

Does he love you?

You are not going to change a person no matter what you do, however you can work together on issues, like increasing the frequency of s*x etc. how about you speak to him, tell him all of this, have a trial moving out and seperation, you go though as seeing as you're having the issues.  

Answer 3

You will both have to sit down and sort this one out. You only get to know your partner and yourself when you move in together. I wish you well.

Answer 4

your english is fine :) i didn't notice you weren't english!

i think you need to really think about this decision hard as you may find yourself regretting it and if you do miss him, he may not wait around for you. try and talk to him about the problems you've just listed to us. sit down and have a long talk about what annoys you about him and the things that annoy him about you. try and sort it out, and give it ago. if it doesn't work out after a few more months, at least your mind will be at ease, and never thinking 'what if' we'd tried one last time. if you love him and he loves you, surely you can sort things out. if you don't want to split up with him, talk about things, and maybe suggest not living together, but start kind of 'dating' again if that makes sense. maybe you guys just weren't ready for such a big step. good luck and i hope it all works out for you both! :)

Answer 5

Have you listed all the issues you have and then listed all the possible solutions that could work?  Do that first for each problem.  You may find some you can solve by yourself and some you may need to discuss with him and look at the various options.

The lack of s*x may be due to the fact you are not getting on - no one is a robot who does it no matter what is going on.

You have to realise living with someone means you do have to make compromises sometimes and that is a hard adjustment to make and so it could be teething problems.

But if after doing all this you are still unhappy best to leave.  And not dilly dally about using him as an emotional blanket - you have plenty of time to meet someone you are more compatible with.

Answer 6

Oh, I've seen this so many times!!!  It looks like that the s*x issue is a big thing for you, and I don't blame you!  I was the same with my ex-husband.  I always was ready, and he never was!

It seems like although you love him, you can't live with him and he is not taking it seriously.  I am afraid that you do not have any other choice, since you have tried several times to talk to him, but you can't stay with him if you are not happy.  Life is too short and you have to make the most of it!

I wish you all the luck!

Answer 7

If you think that you can handle this for the rest of your life then stay.And if you don't think that you can then leave. The answer is up to you.

Answer 8

It sounds like he might just not be taking it seriously that you are actually having doubts about the relationship and living together. and when you talk to him if he acts the same every time that kind of shows this. you need to talk to him again, when he is not doing something like reading a book, and say you are being very serious and say how you feel and talk about what you can do about it if you don't feel it is right anymore. if you start talking to him and it seems like he isnt taking it seriously or starts reading it or whatever then you just have to not give up but actually say more, make him see you are serious.