I've stopped getting help, but I still have problems. Help!?

Question

Ok, I was Diagnosed with psychosis in May by my health care workers (one who even thinks I might have type of schizophrenia or bipolar). In late June, I grew fed up with the way it was going, slow getting to a see a shrink and everyone in my family seems to think I'm lazy, ungrateful, etc and moreless making this up. The truth is I'm not, I am completely misunderstood and it hurts that I cant even talk to my own mother about this, may I mention that my maternal grandma (mom's mom) was simple or hebephrenic schizophrenic and her older sister is a Paranoid schizophrenic and her brother is schizo-affective. My mom thinks I rather be on welfare then get a job, but I would love to be psychiatrist or a writer of sorts. I dropped out of school with a Grade 7 education but I really want to get my dogwood (grade 12), but I have taken an IQ test which showed I scored 132, although I doubt it (No it was not from the internet). I recently stopped going to my meetings, because A: What if I am 'Normal" and I would feel like absolute sh*t and guilt ridden that I took their time from some else who may have had needed more attention and B: I just see no point in talking about something I don't even know is happening or not.

Less then 3 days ago I heard a voice it said "Stop" or "Talk" and now I'm hearing buzzing/humming and whispering. I been having mood swings for about 3 weeks. . .maybe 2 and half weeks. I have nearly no appetite and when that happens I force myself to eat, because I'm scared I will end up fainting. I have fainted a few times from not eating and I decided to make myself eat or at attempt too since. I'm starting to having bouts of crying, why I don't know, or bouts of violent rage at simple things again. I'm starting to get paranoid again and my thoughts are getting confusing, example is. . .1 cup of rice, wont make sense to me, where as normally it would, like I cant compute it or what it is, Like I think bread is rice. Its weird, I know. My hygiene is sh*tty. Or I wont and cant recognized myself in the mirror, like its not me. Colors will change or float around like specks or I'll see shapes or animals or soulettes of people (men actually with slanted red eyes that move quickly). I can't tell what the difference is in sitting or standing or if I have the ability to move. My thoughts will be going a mile a minute and then just stop and I'll start to feel a panic attack coming on. At other times I'm not affected and can't be bothered with others issues, h**l sometimes I think they deserve it. Or I will laugh at things I know after the fact I shouldnt have laughed at and then feel highly embrassed. I don't want to be this way! But I can not help it, I TRIED to change. I've been like this since I was around 9 or 10 and seeing/hearing things since around 5 or 6. I know DEEP down I am suffering from something, but on the flip side I just am worried that maybe I making things bigger then they are and I am completely normal.

Is there something wrong and I know the chances of finding a trained psychiatrist is slim to nothing on Yahoo Answers, but what is wrong with me? Is it just me or should I call my mental heath workers and keep up on going to my appointments?

PS-I haven't listed everything I go through.

Thanks and nothing rude, I am looking for help.

Answer 1

I suggest that you see a doctor as soon as possible, as you are suffering from a relapse of your psychosis and its not getting any better.  See if they will give you some medication because you are definately spiralling up again.

Take a shower and see if you can concentrate on getting as clean as you can.  Keep as calm as you possibly can and know that your family are not trying to hurt you, they just dont know whats going on at the moment because no one has explained it to them.

Answer 2

Go get help. I was not diagnosed until I was 32 years old.  But, I knew at 12 something was not normal.  You know when something is wrong.  Get help so you can get on with your life.

Answer 3

You answered your own question go back to the professionals i know it can seem long winded but it is the only sensible course of action i think your family are hiding their head in the clouds and by calling you lazy they do not have to accept you have mental health problems. you can not just get up one morning and decide you are going to be NORMAL you are who you are and by seeking help from the correct people you can become who you want to be get help so you can enjoy life and ignore the negatives from others TAKE CARE

Answer 4

Dude, you need help, no offense, but Im not even as crazy as you:]

I suggest you go talk to someone, you really need it.

Answer 5

Be strong. Try to relax. Take a bubble bath =)

Once you're calm start thinking rationally.

Ask yourself, "Am I hearing these things because I want to hear them?"

There are plenty of people willing to talk to you or just listen to you.

Please don't talk to any creepy old men or people that are also depressed.