I AM thinking of foster care.My kids have grown and I still need to mother>?

Question

I AM thinking of foster care.My kids have grown and I still need to mother>?

Answer 1

Go for it!  We have 2 biological sons & 2 internationally adopted daughters.  We became foster parents a couple of years ago & I'm so glad we did.  Right now we have a 17 year old girl with us who is a delight.  She'll likely be with us through the end of the school year in May.

We've had kids from 3 years to 18 years with us.  So far we've not had a single bad experience.

You can do long term foster care (what most folks think of when they think of foster care).  You can also do emergency & respite care.  In that case a child might stay one night with you or a week or two.  For respite, it's when foster families need a break (could be for a night or weekend) or when they go on vacation & can't take the foster child with them (this could be for a couple weeks but probably less than that).  Emergency care is when Social Services calls you & (for example) says, "we have a 8 year old girl who was removed from the home.  we're trying to locate other family members (or a longer term placement), but could she stay with you for a couple nights while we find those folks?"

Emergency & respite is good for people who either typically have busy lives or their schedule isn't the most predictable.  You're making a short term commitment which is ideal for some folks.  

We generally do emergency & respite, but we were giving emergency care to the 17 y.o. who is with us right now & we fell in love with each other so we told the social worker we'd like her to stay with us longer unless that wasn't what was best for her.  So our emergency care went into longer term foster care. :-)

Definitely go for it & if your schedule is pretty predictable (not a lot of out of state/town trips or whatever), consider doing long term.  If you can't do long term for some reason, definitely consider going for emergency or respite.  

Here's a list of the foster care state agencies broken down by state so you can find out who to contact.  Once you call them they can help you get started on your journey.  http://library.adoption.com/Resources-an...

Generally, there will be classes you will attend (amazing information is given in these classes...they're very valuable), you'll be fingerprinted & have back ground and child abuse and neglect checks done, there'll be paperwork to fill out & a home visit by a social worker (don't be stressed about this, they're just making sure that your home/family will be a safe and healthy place for a child...they're not checking to see if you live up to Martha Stewart's standards).

Oh, I should add that the social worker will give you information on a child's background (behavioral issues, etc.) and you can ask questions about their behavior and stuff, too.  You can say no to any placement if you're not comfortable bringing that child into your home for some reason.

It's an awesome feeling to bring kids into your home who need nurturing, love, guidance and stability.

Answer 2

I am proud to hear you are considering of becoming a fostor parent. As long you are financely fit, and you give them the love and care that they didnt get before, you should definatly do it!

Answer 3

My children are also grown and I went through the same feeling.. But, I decided to try babysitting for awhile to see if I really wanted to foster..the child really got on my nerves. I guess it had been awhile since mine were small and I no longer had the patience I thought I did.. So I got dogs instead, 5 of them..I am so happy I did...

Answer 4

hey beautiful

i think that is  a great idea... there are many ppl/ children in the world that dont have parents and want a life with a family... your are a sweet person...

how old are you thinking?? does your family aprove? or do they not llike the idea??

wishing you all the best and happiness in the world !!

Answer 5

It's a very noble thought, but maybe you could take some time for yourself, between mothering and grand-mothering? There are many ways you could do community work with children, without making such a full-time commitment.

At least two families in my street are fostering and they say it's very rewarding, but also very hard. So, eyes wide open, be prepared for:

- sometimes the children are so emotionally damaged they will never accept your love or love you back, but will behave horribly 24x7 and trash your house (and maybe you)

- sometimes you will bond really strongly with one and then they go away again - back to parents, or to get adopted by a different family

- sometimes abusive parents will get custody back as soon as they are out of jail or therapy, and the kids will want to go back to them, even when they have been (and may be again) beaten, burned, locked in cupboards or sexually assaulted, and you will have to let them go

I'd like to foster, too, because I was only able to have one child and he would dearly like siblings, but I don't think I'm strong enough to cope with any of the above situations.

Answer 6

Being a foster mom is a wonderful thing. If you have the financial means, you could totally change a child's life. Try taking on a challenging teen who needs love. Those are the hardest foster kids to raise, but you can make the biggest difference with them. The best part is when you get a teen, you only are taking on another 4 years of caring for a minor, but you and the teen both get a life time of love.

Answer 7

Um my parents use to take kids in some were amazing some were wanting to kill ppl ,steal........ So its your choice they need just as much loving as anyone else does.We still talk to 2 of them to one lived with us for like 2 years so yeah i think its a good thing to do foster care.I don't see nothing wrong with it at all.

Answer 8

That is a wonderful way to help out your community and let a child know that there is someone out there that cares about them. I have a friend that has adopted a child from Russia, and she has a foster home for newborn-3 years-old. I would love to do something like that myself, but we don't have the room where we live right now.

Answer 9

I think that is great..but please be careful as to why you are doing this...i see an "I need" in there..and our reasons for serving others in such a way should not be to satisfy our own needs but to serve others...if we are trying to get something out of it we are leading ourselves towards disappointments...

blessings,

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