I Am Off To See A Lawyer This Morning....????

Question

I am scared, and have barely slept a wink thinking about it.

We have our 4yo Godson in our Custody at the moment. His parents have said to us, and we have their permission to proceed adoption claims. They basically don't want him.

Tomorrow morning his biological Aunt (Father's Side) is flying in from out of State. It is her wish to annoy me, and block our claim.

She *thinks* that she can just fly down her and actually expects to take him on Sunday night. She has even bought the plane ticket for him.

Do you think she has any rights?? Other than annoying me. She hasn't seen him since he was 8 months, never had anything to do with him. I don't know much about her, I've never met her, and I have known his parents for 10 years.

We can provide a safe environment for him, and love him like our own. We do have 4 other children, including 2 newborns. Do you think that will work against us?? I keep thinking it will.

*****Continued*******

Answer 1

That woman sure does have some nerve. The boy’s biological parents have oked your family to adopt your godson. I really don’t think the Aunt will have any legal claims she has not even seen the boy since he was 8months old. I assume that your family has been an integrate part of his life since he was born, thus he knows you and you all are already family.  It might be different in a  case if he had been  taken from his parents by the state then they typical look for next of kin.  Since this seems to be a case of you being given custody by the boy’s parents and now they have approved you to adopt their child. I really dont think you will have any problems.

If you can get it documented by his parents that you are the ones they want to adopt their child, even telling a judge this in court would be beneficially.; A child this age needs stability not be uprooted and given to someone who is a stranger.  I don’t see how 4 other children would effect it even more that you have been caring for your godson for some time along with your  4 children.

Answer 2

The bio parents need to sign a consent for adoption form, along with a guardiansip form, that way, if you can't afford the entire adoption process right away, and haven't had a home study yet, you can still retain custody of the child.  It is important, but on the other hand, the aunt in most states cannot come and just get the child, because she has no legal rights, unless the child is actually a ward of the state and you are foster parents.  The aunt might actually love the child and have his best interests according to her own heart, and hopefully, you can peacably work things out together.  My prayers are for the child's sake.

Answer 3

Oh charlie, what drama to add to your already hectic life. I have no actual legal advice ....but ...I would think that if the child's parents put something in writing to say that they make you the legal guardian and want you to become the adoptive parents, then his Aunt can't just come there and take him away. Theorectically without his parents written approval, that would be kidnapping.

It will be interesting to see what the lawyer says but unless she puts a claim into the court petitioning for full custody she can't take him away without suffering repercusions for herself. Also the childs parents would have to go to a lawyer or adoption agency to start proceedings to have him placed for adoption and then you would put in to adopt him and they would have the final say, so again, the aunt can't just come and take him.

I really hope it all works out okay for you. I don't think that having 4 kids already is going to change much. Its more about the quality of care he will get and what the parents want for him. Stay strong, give those boys a big squeeze when the going gets tough and you'll come out the other side stronger than ever.

Best of luck

Answer 4

The parents ultimately can choose who can adopt their child especially when both are in agreement. The Supreme Court has already ruled on this.

Answer 5

So much of this depends upon where you are because in some areas blood relatives have more claim in an adoption situation then non-blood relatives.  I know the parents want you to have him but it could, and I stress only could, be an issue.  I think she's a bit premature showing up with a plane ticket though.

Answer 6

Your 4 children won't matter.  Get as many good references from your neighbors, friends, and church (synagogue or temple )  members as you can to show that you've been a good caregiver. Heads up!

Answer 7

things will be fine, the last thing the courts want to do is upset a childs routine, as he has been with you for this amount of time i say you have nothing to worry about. my mother had my nephew in her care since he was 5 weeks old, at 18months his mother wanted him back (she was unsettled but not uncapable) it was best for him to stay with mum and the courts ruled that for the next 12months he stays with my mother while all the court proceeding were going on. he is now 6 and has never left mums care as it is all he knows and loving, supportive and everything he needs. he now calls me and my other 3 siblings his borthers and sisters. i think it will all work in your favour. good luck

Answer 8

Either A) they need to put in writing or better yet B) they need to attend and state its their wish that their child be with you, that the child has been with you since xyz and is stable there/

I dont understand ? why dont they want him ? :( obviously if they have had him christened to make you the godparent ? They had him for a while ? I dont get how they and it seems they are together ? can no longer just not want him :(

Thats got to be one of the saddest things

Anyway if thats the case and they dont want him *cry* then I wish you the best of luck in your hearing

Answer 9

if it is the parents wish that you adopt him then I don't think you have anything to worry about. Hopefully who has the stronger relationship with the child will win out

Answer 10

It SHOULD be the parents' decision as to who they want to have adopt the child.  HOWEVER, the only problem you may have is if the state somehow wants to get involved.  

We had a similar situation in that the bio family came to us and asked us to adopt their child.  We had started adoption proceedings and the state decided that they wanted to place the child into foster care so that they could get the money for permanently placing him into an adoptive home.  The bio family went to court and the family court judge allowed the private adoption to occur.

Because we were concerned with the state trying to stop us, we spoke to an adoption agency and had them proceed with an "identified adoption" to insure that we did not miss anything in the adoption process.  It cost us a few thousand dollars more, but not very much - and it was worth it to insure that the child was being placed where the bio family wanted him to be.  

Good luck to you.  Please email me thru my profile if you have any questions as I've been thru a similar situation.

Answer 11

Can you get what the parents say, in writing. Can they attend the court proceedings to indicate that they wish for you and your husband to be his legal parents? That would certainly help.

Bottom line: the court is going to do whatever is in the best interest of the child. They TEND to want to keep the child in the family- but not always. He is already with you, he is already settled, and if he is thriving- they will not want to see that balance upset.

The process for adoption can actually be quite long- many home visits, discussions with therapists to see how things are in the home, etc.

I'd say the child is very, very lucky to have been blessed by you and your family. Having 4 of your own will not matter if you can provide for all. This too as well as job status will play a factor.

I wish you the very best! Let me know how it goes.

Edit: Something I just thought of as I clean up after dinner....

-Have family, friends, employers, teachers (if any of yours are school-age) write letters of recommendation for you and your husband on positive parenting.

-Start a binder or a file- in it place your tax papers for the last 3 years, letters of recommendation, parent letters from the biological parents, visitations from said aunt, any communication with the aunt and notes to follow, etc.

-Get a good attorney who specializes in family court and is reputable.

Again, I wish you the very best!

Answer 12

I don't know what the laws are where you are at, but normally everything is done in the best interest of the children and it sounds like being with you is it.  Also, the parents have more rights than anyone, so if they choose you than you should be in pretty good shape.  Getting a lawyer is a good idea.

Answer 13

Oh your poor darling. I think this is going to be a tough battle for you, but tell them everything you have told us, in what your doing for the child ect.. These are always tricky situations - you can neveer guess what the powers that  be may decide. I dont think that biological factor should come into it - but thats the only card that lady has got.

Positive thinking chicky. I'll be sending you lots and lots of luck.