I Am really confused and its killing me?

Question

okay i really need help and I need it soon because im going crazy and I don’t know what to do first off im almost 16 and a boy in the 11 grade and I don’t know if im g*y bi straight curios or whatever the first time I looked at a boy was in the 9th grade when I sent the entire football game watching the male cheerleader on the team and then I had health class and somehow I got curious and started watching p**n I watched normal videos at first but then like after 3 days I started watching g*y p**n and it was much more interesting I watched it for like my entire 9th grade yea and every time I masturbated I though of guys I quit in tenth grade but still found myself looking at a few guys just like 2 or 3 and I tried to convince myself I was normal but this summer I stated listing to like emo type music online like panic at the disco fall out boy Hawthorne heights and other stuff and I saw pictures of the 2 boy lead singers form panic kissing Ryan and Brendon and I loved it and though it was amazing and then I looked at pictures of like normal emo guys and though they were the hottest thing ever I started shaving to this summer and I shave my top legs above the knees my armpits my crotch and my arms and stomach and I went on vacation to new York and ended up telling my cousin who is my best friend since like broth 9hes a big jock kind of guy who plays like 30 sports) that I was g*y and I don’t know why but I did and know that school has started its even worse I cant walk down the hall without constantly looking at guys and asking myself if there hot and in my second block I have this hot like emo/skater dude sitting across the aisle and I can barely move because im nervous and I hate it its so annoying but see at the same time there is this girl on my bus that I can look at and be like she is a little hot but I would think I would rather have a guy anyway im so confused anyway just some extra stuff I like the Jonas brothers I started wearing pants all the time and I wish like all the time that I could wear like skinny jeans and eyeliner and stuff sometimes I am so sure im g*y but then ill think maybe im bi and then ill see the girl on the bus and be like she’s a little hot and think maybe im not g*y but it confuses me plzzzzzzzzz help me i need to know and plzzzz don’t make and stupid comments they kind of hurt

Answer 1

Number one -- I would never deliberately do anything to hurt you!!! You are wonderful, just as you are.  *hug*

Number two -- that's really the key kid.  You ARE wonderful, just the way you are.  Don't sweat it, don't struggle to make yourself one specific thing.  Accept you -- give yourself a hug for me and look in the mirror and say "I like me, just as I am!!!"  Repeat it a couple more times, and do that every day.  You don't have to figure anything out -- you just need to love who you are and love everyone else.  The rest will come in line quickly when you stop struggling (for real stop, not pretend stop and then wait).

I suspect that you are g*y -- but you might be bisexual -- you are most certainly not straight.  None of that matters, you are wonderful.  Let the social constructs all go and be yourself.  I think you will find that the occasional "kind of hot" girl interests disappear when you subconsciously stop retaining the panic and struggle.  If they don't, you are a g*y leaning bisexual -- that's ok too.

BTW -- I agree, emo boys are the hottest looking boys in the world.  Now hug yourself again, and remember, you are wonderful.  Start there and then love everyone else -- you will be amazed at what will happen if you can manage it.

Kindest thoughts and lots of love and encouragement,

Hermes

Answer 2

That sounds a lot like me. I feel attracted to men but occasionally I see a hot girl. But then I think to myself that the girl is pretty but I'm not sexually attracted to her she's just happens to be a pretty woman that I have no desire what-so-ever to be with. If you look at normal p**n then g*y p**n you should see which one you are more aroused by. That is not a definite answer but it's a pretty good one.

Answer 3

well if you look at guys so much you're clearly not straight. you're probably bi or g*y, and that's perfectly fine. just wait a few years and get a little more experience and you'll know for sure what your sexuality is. just do whatever makes you happy.

Answer 4

Dude you are 16 years old. 16!. Of course everything is going to be confusing right now. That is perfectly normal. You're at an age where puberty is a bi***. I know when I was 16 I wanted to hump everything in sight. It didn't matter if it was a girl, guy, pillow, whatever. It sounds weird but its the truth. So I just gave myself the tag of being bisexual since I didn't want to have to deal with a definitive "label." Therefore, I could be with girls and guys and not have anyone say "O I thought you were str8" or "I thought you were g*y."

But anyway why are you worrying about labels right now? You're 16 and you've got PLENTY of time to figure out what you are and what you aren't. So just do you and don't worry about what other people think or what you are being labeled as. That will come with time. I guarantee it. Good luck...  

Answer 5

Hey there. I'm assuming that you've already established that you're g*y but you're not sure if you're bi. Ask yourself this, and think about it carefully: could you see yourself being in an intimate relationship with a guy? With a girl? I know this seems too in the future to answer, but could you see yourself getting married and having children with girls? Or would you much rather get married to a guy and adopt? Or not have kids with either?

It's okay that you're confused. Walking down the hallway checking out hot guys is normal, this shouldn't drive you crazy. You're a teenager, your hormones are going crazy. Just like I'm pretty d**n sure that girls your age are walking down the hallways checking out guys, and vice versa, it's pretty d**n normal for someone who is g*y to be checking out guys. And lesbians, girls. The only problem with that is that, no offense, but most teenage boys your age are closed minded and tend to be homophobic. But, on the bright side, most will probably ease up with age and maturity.

I'm glad that you told your cousin about your sexuality. This is good because it shows you are comfortable with who you are, and shows your ability to open up. Which is one of the hardest things to do for a confused teenager, for the fear of being judged/made fun of/looked down upon by ignorant kids tend to keep g*y and bisexual teenagers closeted throughout HS, some even throughout college.

Just know this: your true friends will not care about your sexuality. Your family should not care about your sexuality. And with the clothes issue, wear it, dammit! If you feel like wearing skinny jeans, wear it! If you feel like wearing eyeliner, wear it!

Good luck with everything =)

Answer 6

this might be hard, but try seeing and liking and noticing whoever you want and not putting a label on it as g*y straight or bi...this will allow you to be unbiased so you can find out what you REALLY are, not become what you subconsciously want to become. i'd call that "curious" anyways, so same difference.

eventually you will know for sure...just let it come naturally otherwise you will sway yourself one way or the other and end up more confused.

Answer 7

It sounds like you are bi. If you are bi that doesn't mean that you have to like guys and girls at the same time. You don't have to like them equally. That is a huge thing that is so misunderstanding about being bi. I am bi and it is hard. You are probably bi. I know that the whole thing is confusing and hard to understand the whole thing. It just takes time so that you are comfortable with yourself. The really best advice is that just follow your feelings and don't worry about titles. I know easier said then done, I know. I am bi, but yet at times think that I am g*y, but yet I know that I am not. It took me one year to figure out that I am bi,and then another year to tell my mom that I am bi. It just takes time and patience's. From what you have told me, you are bi. Take time and try not to rush anything. Good luck.  

Answer 8

well, liking the Jonas brothers doesn't make you g*y, and neither does listening to that type of music, you may be uncomfortable with your sexuality( WHICH IT DEFINITELY SOUNDS LIKE YOU ARE) but you need to become comfortable with it, its not something you can hide your whole life, you don't wanna be miserable all the time, embrace these feelings,  theres nothign wrong with being g*y. Good luck =)