I DONT THINK MY 5 YEAR OLD SON LIkES ME?

Question

he always wants to go to his aunts house....and NEVER WANTS to be home...he says he wants to live with his aunt. they are very close..should I stop him from going to his aunts for a while???he is going to see a doctor because they think he may have asperger syndrome..i think he has an obbsesion with his aunt and im not sure if it would damage him by taking him away from his aunt...he gets him self so upset he throws up...i have watched him with my sister and she is good with him..she has tried talking to him but it does not work..

Answer 1

I wouldn't keep him away from his aunt at this point. However keep in mind I'm not a parent, but I do have a 5 year old nephew that's likely got Asperger's, and I've very likely got it, too. I personally don't see the point in depriving a kid of their enjoyment of something; I wouldn't want anyone to take horseback riding or Les Mis away from me, they're the things that I enjoy and that keep me occupied.  Now if this is a real obsession, not just a special interest, you would be well within reason to contact a professional about it and see if separation, at least temporary, would help at all or if it would just make things worse.

I suggest reading all you can about AS and learning how your son communicates best and hoe he reacts to different things.   I honestly don't think the problem is that he doesn't like you, he probably does indeed love you - after all, you're his parent. We Aspies just don't always show it the way most people do.

Answer 2

wait till he gets older.

Answer 3

Kids like things that are different from what they're used to. Its like the grass is always greener kind of thing.

It's not that he doesn't like you. To him, you're just Mom. You're a fixture, like the house or the furniture. He's kind of taking you for granted without realizing it. Going to his aunt's house is special and different. That's all. Its just instant gratification. We all want that right?

The thing to do is remember that YOU are running things not him. You decide when its time to visit and when its time to stay home. If he gets angry and pukes. Don't get too mad at him for it. (Let him know you don't like it.) Have him help you clean it up when he calms down. Just tell him its normal for people to get upset when they don't get what they want, but we don't always get what we want. Try to relate to him, like I get mad when I don't get things sometimes too. Here's how I handle it. Etc...

I try to do these things too, but its hard sometimes my daughter (4) just gets so mad, that I just have to wait her out. When she gets over it, I don't get mad. I just try to talk to her about what she's feeling and try to relate. Its not easy because little one's don't know how to explain their feelings (do any of us?)

I have stricter rules than my Wife. (We work different shifts so during the week we're kind of like single parents.) Sometimes she likes me better than Mom. Sometimes she likes Mom better.

Don't be a dictator but don't let him run the house either.

Good luck.

Answer 4

What kind of lifestyle do you live at home?  I mean, do you work all the time?  Are you going to college and have homework constantly to do?   Maybe he feels left out if that's the case and his Aunt gives him her 100% attention.  My daughter went through a short phase of always wanting to stay at Grandma's, it lasted about 6 months.  Maybe make a mommy & son day and take him for a picnic at the park and ask him what makes auntie's house so much more fun than being at home.   Kids talk and are quite frank.  ;)

Answer 5

Kids go through a phase like that, it's normal!

Ask him what you're doing "wrong" that his aunt does "right" and figure out a way to solve it.