I FOUND OUT A BIG SECRET THAT COULD RUIN A RELATIONSHIP?

Question

My brother recently got engaged to a girl, my whole family was happy, he was happy.

My brother met his fiance at church, they both planned on losing their virginity on their wedding night.

Well, its abit embarrassing, but i do occasionally enjoy watching the some p**n on the Internet. The other day i was watching a movie, when i saw my brothers fiance as the leading role!!!!! it looked like an amature video, but she was fully into it- and i could clearly see it was her....

i had a bad feeling in my stomach -as anyone would, after discovering someones secret.

Its not the p**n that makes me angry, its her lying to my brother. This issue of virginity was very important to him.

I really don't know what to do, they will be getting married very soon, and i cant find a way to tell him (I'm also embarrassed because i don't want my brother to know i was watching p**n, then eventually my whole family will know which is even more embarrassing)

I don't know what to do, or how to tell him in a way that wont hurt him as much (i know it will still hurt very badly) and a way to save myself from embarrassment...

everytime i see her, i feel like just yelling at her, for being such a liar and a fake..and taking advantage of my brother.

Answer 1

dont admit you watched th p**n, say a friend did, and recognised her and showed you. just tell him you arent sure quite how to put this, but you think its very important that he knows, and then tell him and show him the clip. maybe she has already told him about her past, you never know. if she had, he certainly wouldnt be telling you, so it is possible. if he already knows, promise not to share what you know with anyone else. for this reason, tell him first, not your parents or mates etc.

or do you know her better? because if you can, maybe admit to her that you've seen it. there might be a perfectly reasonable explanation. is she a twin??

Answer 2

this is serious its not just a fling its a marriage, talk to your brother! he needs to know the truth before making such a big commitment!

Answer 3

You really need to tell him about this.

Answer 4

It sounds like she is trying to change her life?  She is going to church now and shes met your brother and wants to leave the past behind.

Howeve, I believe you should tell him because ... its never good to keep secrets.

She should of told him.. and maybe she has?  

Just let him watch the video... Then let him decide.

Answer 5

Just keep it a secret and let the two of them get on with their lives. They have more important things to worry about. So do you.

Answer 6

I'd wanna know for sure. I think put the film on and let him watch it or tell him first and then show him.

Why would you be embarrased after all you were watching it! Think about your brother.

Shes such a fake what else is she lying about?

Answer 7

Shes probally catholic rofl. Wow that was funny but really you want your brother to get crabs or something? You should tell him. She will probally end up gold digging.

Answer 8

If you're uncomfortable letting anyone know you watched p**n you can always say it popped up by accident(it does happen) or someone you know saw it and told you they thought it was her so you checked it out only to see if it was.  Most importantly, you have to tell your brother ASAP.  He has a right to know the woman he's going to marry is a liar and if she's doing p**n she may have STD's (some of them are not curable and can even kill you, ex: aids, hep B) You can forget about doing it in a way to lessen the blow, it's going to suck no matter what you say or how you say it.  Just make sure you do it in private so he has the option of not letting anyone else know if that's what he wants.  If it were me, I'd tell him when the two of them are together that way you take her by surprise and she doesn't have a chance to make up a lie and if you're there your brother will be less likely to forgive her.  Tell him she's a nasty w***e who obviously has no morals or values if she'd lie to him about something so important.  Remind him if she doesn't love or respect herself, how can she give him the love and respect he deserves.

Answer 9

are you sure its her, maybe it just looks a lot like her. you should bring it up casually around her and watch her face and see if she acts funny or comments about p**n. that is really crazy though, if it is her your brother should definitely know. maybe say one of your friends recognized her.

Answer 10

why don't you just ask the girl if its her, some people do have doubles, maybe your wrong.

Answer 11

do u know the site? make sure you remember.. make a fake email adress.. and email the link to him.. so he will see it... that way he doesnt kow about you watching p**n and he will know

Answer 12

Tell him!  

Answer 13

hey there is no shame in you watching p**n, you have to tell him, he's your brother and think about it wouldn't you want to know. Don't worry about you worry about him he is being lied to. I'm sure the family will forgive you for watching p**n if you saved him from a lying marriage.  

Answer 14

i would let her know what you saw and see what her reaction is first,and see what happens then.

Answer 15

Show it to him. He should know.

Answer 16

He needs to know!

If she never tells him, their entire relationship will be based on a lie.

Answer 17

Well I mean, if you're POSITIVE it's her, you NEED to say something, even if it means taking responsibility for your own actions of watching p**n. Don't be selfish and deceitful just to cover your own butt from some embarassment, your brother knowing is way more important. Imagine how hurt the relationship will be with you two when he finds out later down the road you knew, think about how hurt THEIR relationship is going to be when it starts s******g up because it was started with lies and deceit, not to mention her dirty lusty s***k a** tainting up their precious marriage bed.  

Answer 18

this is serious, you have to save your brother, so be frank and inform him and show the video to him.  now a days watching p**n movie is common among all youngsters to take it easy

Answer 19

YOU really need to tell your brother nobody should have to go through that, knowing their fiance not only had s*x before but showed it to the whole world. if you are embarresed just tell him that one of your friends cam across the video or picture but still dont let your embarresment cause you to ruin your brothers life. HE needs to know before he can make any commitments. he can decide what he wants to do after that. Im sure it would hurt him but i know he would want you to tell him.

Answer 20

You HAVE to tell her . You would want your brother to tell you if you were in the same position wouldn't you?

Answer 21

Forget the relationship.

Stop thinking about yourself and think about how you should always have your brothers back! and yes, do yell at her.. who cares! just tell your brother already, everyone watches p**n! i'm telling you,even the most innocent people out there watches p**n.. it's not embarassing! if it's so embarassing then s*x should be! seems like s*x isn't, due to many people making babies.. so go on! tell your brother already! what you expecting? for the worse? come on now.. ***** that girl your brothers engaged too! destroy her! as she destroyed your brothers feelings, once he finds out..

Answer 22

Pray first and ask God to make it clear how you should tell your bother. BUT HE MUST KNOW. A person's past is there past, but like you said she's lying to him and he must know. Don't worry about you self in this situation because that's selfish. Trust me if the shoe was on the other foot you would want to know. I'll pray with you; but sweetie HE MUST KNOW.